Liam: Keep up Killian!
Killian: Oh god,
I need to get this abs in better shape!
Killian: Is that
it?
Liam: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Killian: ….
Liam: Close
enough!
Liam: Well
Killian, get to cutting. I’ll just lean on this rock and work on my suntan!
Killian: But this
looks like a lot of work! I don’t wanna!
Killian: AND it
might be poisonous. I know you’ve been out to get me since mom said I was the
favorite in her will but this is a little extreme, don’t you think?
Liam: Look at all
this! It’ll stain my uniform! I can’t carry it! I’m the captain AND the older
brother. Get to cutting!
Killian: Poison
isn’t in my top twenty ways to go!
Liam: Killian,
just because a native creepy kid who lives here in this world actually says
it’s dangerous in no way trumps our king who read it in a book! Or…saw it in
his dreams as a boy or something…
Killian: I don’t
wanna!
Liam: Fine! Big
baby! I’ll cut myself with a plant I know nothing about and prove it to you!
Killian: Maybe
you should!
Liam: ….
Liam: Fine! I
will!
Liam: Yeah, this
is all black and gooey and foreboding! Perfect for the injection!
Killian: Are you
seriously being an idiot?
Killian: Huh,
guess you are.
Liam: See? I’m
totally fine. Oh, by the way, dad told me which one his favorite was. And
you’ll be surprised because he said-
Liam: Augh!
What’s happened?!
Killian: I told
you so, you turd!
Killian: Mountain!
Save my brother!
Emma: Tell me
where my son is, or I’ll knock your block off!
Devin: He’s so
evil! I couldn’t possibly!
Emma: Beside the
point!
Devin: What are
you doing?! For all you know, I could have been Henry at some point whose
family never came for me!
Regina: Geez, someone’s
got anger issues.
Snow: Emma, walk
it off.
Regina: I can rip
his heart out!
Devin: Um…what?
Regina: It’ll
only be agonizing when you still have control of your actions!
Snow: Emma, need
I remind you that Regina has been nagging to use magic all season, she’s done
this brutal treatment to people such as Graham and myself, and in the long run,
putting this kid in danger serves absolutely no purpose other than to show that
Regina’s not just dead weight.
Regina: And what
have you done?
Regina: We’ve
been trying to convince him to get Henry for like two hours! If he won’t change
his mind in two hours then there’s nothing more to be done!
Emma: Momgret…don’t
give me that look!
Emma: I guess we
can enable your psycho side.
Regina: Smirk!
Regina: Well kid,
it’s either me or you.
Emma: Yes, I am
holding down my mother so the woman that wanted to kill us a week ago can
inflict a painful process on a kid that strips him of free will and overall has
no bearing on the entire plot as a whole because we don’t see him again.
Snow: ….
Emma: If you’re
going to give me the silent treatment, could you at least send me to my room?
Snow: You do
remember all the hearts she’s ripped out and how that’s dark magic in this
universe, right?
Emma: I…guess?
Snow: Just
remember the pain we’ve had to deal with because she kept enabling herself with
Dark Magic, that’s all I have to say.
Emma: Hey, are
you done stripping free will of minors?
Regina: Even
better! He’s going to use my cell phone compact idea to meet Henry!
Snow: Oh god, not
the cell phone compact idea again…
Hook: Oh I can
still smell my brother’s blind whippedness
Hook: Oh wait,
that’s just YOU!
Charming: I’m
pretty sure you remind me of my brother.
Hook: Oh really?
He was mischievous and handsome?
Charming: No, he
was my twin.
Hook: *Cracks up*
Charming: HEY!
You tricked me into saying that!
Hook: Oh, just
like every father of every daughter I’ve met.
Charming: You
want to tackle Emma in the Dreamshade bushes all sexy like? Well maybe I’LL
tackle you in the Dreamshade bushes too!
Hook: That wasn’t
a family offer!
Charming: I meant
literally!
Hook: Look, you can’t
kill me! We’re bros! We do things like keep secrets from our women and go on
death missions! We’re this seasons Mr. Gold and Archie.
Charming: There
will NEVER be another Mr. Gold and Archie! *Goes
on a rant*
Hook: Oh!
Dreamshade in the backside! Look out!
Hook: Oooo,
that’s prickly!
Charming: - And
lastly, bros don’t hit each other with PIPES!
Hook: Not the
face! Not the Face!
Charming: Oh this
sword is really heavy.
Hook: I don’t
want to be shaved….
Charming: You
need it.
Hook: You can’t
force that on me! I have too much of a baby face!
*Randomly Plops over*
*This might be more worrisome
if we’d actually seen the effects of Dreamshade before this episode*
*Seeing the family
resemblance*
Killian: Brother!
Don’t die on me; the crew will throw me overboard if I show up without you!
Pan: Friggin’
WHAT did I tell you? I’ll tell you what I told you, I told you that it was
poisoned and not to belly flop on it but did you listen to me? NOOooooooo!
Killian: *Blubbers*
Killian: You gotta
save him!
Pan: Why should I
help him? He called me a native and a whole bunch of other things and was
frankly a bit rude.
Killian: Because
we have…understanding. Our eyebrows move and girls gasp! We’ll be written in
stories together as Foe Yay! So you gotta save him!
Pan: …
Pan: Only if you
get rid of that ponytail the next time I see you and wear lots of leather.
Killian: Done!
Done you monster! I’m never coming back here anyway!
Pan: This is the
heart of the island! You drink it and you will be the next protector…I mean
there will be a price to pay that’s fairly obvious if anyone ever read Greek
Mythology…
Killian: Oh boy,
here we go traipsing into familiar territory again!
Pan: I have no
idea how I know this stuff about the water since timeline wise, I haven’t
brought anyone here yet….
Killian: *Squees*
Killian: Wait,
what are you doing?
Pan: *Is creepy*
Seeing what a clean shirt feels like, I’ve been wearing the same outfit for
like 40 years.
Killian: I change
clothes every day.
Pan: Bang! Bang!
Pan: One of these
days you will have to pay a price!
Killian: If
wearing the same clothes for years is that price, I will pay it! Especially if
it’s jammie bottoms and a flannel shirt.
Pan: *Glare* *Now
we know where Henry gets it*
Killian: I don’t
like that glare of shame!
Killian: Hey bro!
Open wide.
Liam: Please tell
me that’s Gatorade…
Killian: It
totally is!
Liam: *Squees*
Liam: *Gurgle*
*Gurgle* 
Liam: Hah! Fooled
you. I just ran out of water an hour ago and put on a complicated show so that
I could get some of yours.
Killian: Oh…. I’ll
just pretend I saved your life!
Liam: It’s nice
to have delusions!
Killian: *Squee!*
Killian: *Squee!*
Killian: *Squ-.”
Liam: Okay, okay,
don’t hurt yourself. goober.
Liam: Wow, the
water hasn’t healed everything yet, do you think you could carry me to the
ship.
Killian: I’ll get
that random kid to help!
Killian: Random
creepy boy! I’ll pay that price now!
Liam: What price,
we don’t get paid! Friggin’ Killian, what did I say about natives?
Henry: How
tedious, drawing battle plans for overthrowing Pan shouldn’t be this much of a
pain.
Henry: Die crappy
battle plans, die!
Devin: …..
Henry: Unless you
want to join my army, I don’t even want to hear it. You know who used to stand
over me with pointy objects? Regina. And you know what a stinker she was.
Devin: I’m your
mother, Henry!
Henry: Get in
line for another family member; I already have two of those.
Devin: I’m coming
to save you!
Henry: I’m going
to rule this land, don’t you DARE ruin this for me!
Devin: Don’t get
that tone of voice with me or else I’ll try to kill your loved ones some more!
Henry: They’re
not even here!
Regina: *Shoves* Move!
I can’t see!
Snow: You move! *shoves*
Henry: Oh my god,
why are you guys here?! You’re going to embarrass me!
Snow: IT’S YOUR
GRANDMA!
Regina: Out of
frame! Out of frame!
Henry: *Rolls eyes*
My family and their inability to stop saving each other.
Devin: Will I
EVER get my heart back?
Emma: Mama loves
you! *Puckers*
Henry: MOM! Not
in front of everyone!
Emma: *Is puckering
some more to embarrass him*
Snow: *Squees*
Regina: He
mutilated his first boy, I’m so proud!
Pan: Guys, get my
royal foot massage ready!
*Are imagining that*
Henry: I have to go! If he finds out about this
crazy endeavor, he’ll move me, kill most of you, destroy the map and put me
right back to where I was emotionally…and since Pan does sort of win for about
24 hours, I’m not sure what this whole story showed other than Emma’s
willingness to do what it took to save me…and not even THAT went anywhere.
Regina: Stay evil
for mommy, baby!
*What a cheap mirror.
I thought Regina would be better than that*
No comments:
Post a Comment