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Emma: Whew! He’s
not in here! Time for some top secret investigation!
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Baelfire: I knew
if I didn’t answer you knocking for half an hour, you’d just come in!
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Emma: Hey….Bae…I
was just looking for the bathroom!
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Baelfire: Wait! I
know that code! We set it when we got together! My fiancé is NOT a psycho
murdering kidnapper!
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Emma: Is so!
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Baelfire: Where’s
your proof?
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Emma: OmiGOD,
NEAL! You can’t just ask someone what proof they have!
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Emma: I mean,
maybe saying Tamara is the psycho murdering kidnapper is a bit harsh…but answer
me this…have you ever SEEN Tamara and a psycho murdering kidnapper in the same
room? Just saying!
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Baelfire: That’s
because Tamara’s never been in the same shot with my dad and Regina!
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Emma: Trifles
Neal!
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Emma: Sand! She
MUST be up to something!
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Baelfire: Or they
don’t clean as much as they advertise.
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Emma: Huh. Well,
that’s incredibly probable…
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Emma: Let’s go
find Tamara…and if she’s not holding a bloody knife or someone hostage…then
I’ll admit I was wrong. But I won’t be because I’m not.
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Baelfire: *Puppy eyes
of wondering about his choices in whom he dates*
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Baelfire: Eh, why
not, I’m bored.
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Emma: And don’t
give me those types of puppy eyes Neal. I KNOW what those mean.
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Baelfire: Why
can’t I sleep in the window seat? The beds at home were way more comfortable
than the floor.
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Baelfire: Wendy’s
all by herself! Now’s my chance!
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John: What are
you guys doing?
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Wendy: Friggin’
go to bed, John!
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Wendy: It’s time
you meet the shadow, he sort of joined the family about the same time you did
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Wendy: but I
DOUBT there’s a connection!
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Wendy: I’m
surprised you don’t know about this!
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Baelfire: I know!
Haven’t I been here for weeks?
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Wendy: And he’s
so practically awesome in every way!
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Baelfire: *Is
jealous* Wait a minute now….
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Wendy: Oh Bae,
don’t be like that. He can fly and change shapes and stuff! Can you do that?
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Baelfire: I
can…make…shadow puppets…
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John: N00B!
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Baelfire: Shut up
Harry Potter!
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John: *Is sad*
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Wendy: *Smacks* My brother is NOT Harry Potter!
Baelfire: OWWWWW!
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Wendy: I’m so
sorry Bae…I have no idea where that came from! I don’t even know who Harry
Potter is so I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult.
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Baelfire: This
must be what it felt like to be dad…
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Wendy: Well…since
you’re sort of unofficially a part of the family…you can meet the shadow now.
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Baelfire: I don’t
want to meet him, he’s probably evil!
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Baelfire: And not
as good looking as I am…
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Baelfire: And
doesn’t have as great hair.
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Wendy: *Is bored*
You done?
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Baelfire: Whatever
Wendy, I’m going back to bed!
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Wendy: Yeah, I’ll
bet you can’t wait to cuddle against that floor.
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Rumpelstiltskin: For
heaven’s sakes! What are you doing here?
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Charming: Oh, hey lady, you look like our good friend
Belle.
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Lacey: *Chokes on
drink*
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Rumpelstiltskin: That
IS Belle you slubberdegullion helminth!
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Snow: ….
Charming: …..
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Charming: That
hurt!
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Rumpelstiltskin: Lacey,
they’re going to act all superior to me and then come crawling to me for
help…would you give us a few?
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Lacey: Do I have
to?
Rumpelstiltskin: Yes.
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Lacey: Now?
Rumpelstiltskin: Get
out.
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Lacey: *Whines*
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Rumpelstiltskin: Let
me guess, considering the lack of screeching, I’ve been hearing, I’m guessing
Regina’s got herself kidnapped and you want to help her. I can’t imagine why…
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Snow: Nyeh, nyeh
because of Cora nyeh nyeh
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Rumpelstiltskin: I’m
sorry, is that still a thing?
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Rumpelstiltskin: Well…just
sprinkle in Regina’s tears in your own eye (that can’t be healthy) and you’ll
be connected.
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Rumpelstiltskin: Or I got my spells mixed up and you’ll be rid
of dry eyes…either way…off you go!
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Charming: Um…how
do you have Regina’s tears again? I mean I don’t think I’ve ever seen your hand
appear off frame with that vial to scoop them up as they’re falling from her
face.
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Rumpelstiltskin: I
don’t have to! She slings so much snot from one wall to the other that the
rivers run full of them!
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Snow: I forgot
about all these weird little habits you had.
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Rumpelstiltskin: *Is
flirty* Who would’ve thought that after all those years of dating while you
were in college that we’d be co-grandparents?!
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Snow: *Is tearing up*
I never thought of it that way!
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Snow: Uh…what are
you doing?
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Rumpelstiltskin: Oh
just…adding something to my collection, nothing you need to worry about!
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Charming: You are
WEIRD, good sir!
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Rumpelstiltskin: Just
remember who has the fan girls, Charming. It isn’t you.
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Charming: Well,
we’ll just...be on our way.
Snow: I can’t
believe we’re all related!
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Rumpelstiltskin: Sayonara,
suckers! Now getting back to Downton Abbey…
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Lacey: And who
were THEY?!
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Rumpelstiltskin: *Throws
self against magic cupboard protectively* No one!
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Lacey: They
didn’t sound like ‘no one’ they sounded like people who know about magic!
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Rumpelstiltskin: You
HEARD that?
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Lacey: Maybe you
should invest in a door instead of a curtain…
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Charming: I don’t
like this. What if it turns into a body swap episode?
Snow: It’s not
going to be a body swap episode.
Charming: Regina
already tried to seduce me once!
Snow: Charming, I
think we’d have a musical episode before we body swapped.
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Charming: You
don’t have to do this.
Snow: I do!
Because nyeh nyeh Cora nyeh nyeh.
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Charming: If I
put these drops in your eyes, will you promise to shut up about how you feel
guilty that you saved all of us?
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Snow: What else
will I talk about? IT’s not like I’ve done anything else all season.
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Charming: You
tackled Mulan a lot…there’s that.
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Charming: And
while I’m at this angle Snow, your eyebrows are out of control. You make Hook
look like he plucks his!
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Charming: Op…op…op..
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Snow: Darn it
Charming! You missed!
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Charming: IT’s
not easy Snow! You keep blinking!
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Snow: Well that
was a letdown…at least I’ll have clear eyes now.
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Snow: EEEK!
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Snowgenia: Crick
in my back…..
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Charming: *Is
sobbing* Snow! I’ll save you! RAWR!.....Why didn’t that work?!
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Mama Darling: Goodnight
my little hoodlums…and Bae too.
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Baelfire: Finally,
I got bed privileges.
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Baelfire: Zzzz Oh
Morraine…I wish they continued your storyline like they said once in an
interview.
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Baelfire: Zzz-
wha-?
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Wendy: The sky
headlights are on! The shadow is here!
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Baelfire: Go home
Wendy, you’re drunk.
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Wendy: He told me
that we can run away together! Doesn’t he look trustworthy?!
Shadow: I’m going to devour your soul!
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Baelfire: How can
you trust something that looks like that!? Or is this that sarcasm thing you
told me about?
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Wendy: Oh he said
magic is fine where he’s at!
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Baelfire: That’s
what he tells you to lure you into his unmarked white van, Wendy!
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Wendy: See ya,
Bae!
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Wendy: You stay
here and make an excuse for my sudden disappearance, okay?!
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Baelfire: No!
You’re the only normal girlfriend I ever had!
Wendy: Oh tosh,
Bae! What’s so great about having a normal BOYFRIEND?! The Shadow can fly!
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Baelfire: I never
thought I’d get owned by a shadow!
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Wendy: Don’t look
up my gown!
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Baelfire: Well…
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Baelfire: Darn…
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Emma: See? She’s
not here! Evil psychopathic murderer!
Baelfire: Do you
think she just runs in a random circle on the beach, Emma? That’s not what
marathons do!
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Baelfire: You
should see your little prissy walk, you look like this!
Emma: I’m not
looking at you! I’ve got serious business to concentrate!
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Emma: And
whatever you just demonstrated….I’m pretty sure I don’t look like that, okay?
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Baelfire: So…what
happened the last time Regina disappeared?
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Emma: Oh, we just
let her feel sorry for herself a lot and then she teamed up with her mom…which
is sort of why we need to find her. She might turn out to be worse if that’s
possible…
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Tamara: Hey you
guys! I was just trampling on some sandcastles and I thought I recognized you!
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Baelfire: Schmoochie-muffin!
I knew you were innocent!
Emma: How come
you’re not sweating?
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Tamara: I have this genetic defect where I don't sweat. I expel heat by the hot air.
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Emma: Of all
things to be jealous of…I think that takes the cake…
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Tamara: I’m
sorry, did I interrupt romantic tension?
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Emma: EWW! With
Neal?!
Baelfire: Hey!
Baelfire: Hey!
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Tamara: You guys
are flirting?!
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Tamara: *Cries*
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Emma: Yeah,
forget that whole ‘jealous’ thing…
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Tamara: *Runs off
sobbing*
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Emma: I’m getting
far away.
Baelfire: Oh
don’t worry about her; she gets that way every 3rd waxing crescent
moon.
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Emma: You know
what? You’re slowing me down.
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Baelfire: Well,
you slowed me down 11 years ago and that’s how I fell in love with you!
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Emma: What?
Baelfire: Oh…that
wasn’t meant to come out…um…
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Baelfire: So…I
was going to look for you but I used to work for Danvers the Dove and his
little bird assassins had you targeted…and then August was a putz and wouldn’t
tell me where you were.
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Baelfire: So I
was going to go to Tallahassee but then I remembered that Tallahassee was
pretty big and I didn’t think I’d find you so I didn’t…
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Baelfire: Hold
on, I have a splinter….
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Baelfire: Never
mind. I got it.
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Emma: Are
you….apologizing to me?
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Baelfire: Yeah…sort
of…I guess…actually I was just randomly saying things and seeing where it went but
now I realize that when you told me you had Henry…and gave him up and Regina
got him….(wish we could’ve seen THAT scene) I sort of really feel extremely
guilty about what I did to you and there are still feelings…
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Baelfire: Don’t
go around telling people though. I’ll jack up my street cred.
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Emma: Hmm….
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Baelfire: Oh,
that’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.
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Baelfire: Well, I
want to say more but I can’t put it into words…
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Emma: ….
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Baelfire: Well,
we should go find your friend.
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Baelfire: Did I
step in something I shouldn’t have?!
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Baelfire: I
always do that. Was a bit hard not to in the village…and now my foot is a
magnet for the stuff…
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Emma: Will you
puppy dog eye me the way you used to?
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Baelfire: *Puppy Dog
eyes*
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Emma: *Sigh* I
miss those days.
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Tamara: I had to
pretend I was kicking down sandcastles! On a beach!
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Greg: Well,
things are going great here! Regina’s telling me so much…
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Regina: I haven’t
told him anything.
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Greg: Let me up
the torture my tuning the radio to the top ten pop songs…
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Greg: Ugh,
Regina, this is going to hurt me way worse than it hurts you…
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Tamara: Why did I
even track sand? The cannery isn’t even ON the beach!
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Greg: How about I
speak in fairy tale language…will that help my cause?
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Greg: *Ahem* Doth
you not know where my beloved father dwelleth?
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Greg: Now you
say....?
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Regina: I’m going
delusional! I’m looking right at Charming! This is weird! And I feel like I’m
wearing a fuzzy sweater!
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Tamara: Charming?
Which one?
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Regina: There’s
only one. The goofy looking one.
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Tamara: OH! THAT
GUY!
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Tamara: Sorry, in
this world, the term ‘Prince Charming’ refers to about…every guy in Fairy Tale
and Disney lore without a name.
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Regina: Well,
they might as well be since most of them are forgettable anyway….
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Greg: Is Ariel at
least real? I always wanted to meet Ariel…
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Regina: How should
I know? I keep trying to find her but someone keeps pushing her back!
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Greg: That’s
disappointing!
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Greg: Almost as
disappointing as the fact that I was orphaned at a young age because of you and
no one would believe my story except for the people I know work for. Thanks for
wrecking yet another life Regina. And since I’m being casted as the villain in
this, it’s highly doubtful that my father will see justice.
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Regina: Well then
maybe he should’ve run faster.
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Greg: Seriously,
what would you have done the minute I got old enough to move away?
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Greg: We were
kids Regina, not your friggin’ toys and entertainment.
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Regina: Compared
to me, you all are toys and entertainment!
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Tamara: I’m sure
I could’ve gotten this done a whole lot faster…
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Snow: Charming,
what are you doing?
Charming: You
usually like it when I pet you like this…
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Snow: No, I
don’t…not after I’ve been spellified to be Regina and it was dark and cold and
I smelled sardines! Oh god, SARDINES!
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Charming: SARDINES?!
THE HORROR!
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Charming: Should
I call Archie?
Snow: *Cringes away*
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Snow: I just…I
just need to be alone…
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Snow: *Sobs* It
smelled like sardines….
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Charming: So…did
you just see a few seconds or did you see that last scene? And how is it dark
when it looked pretty bright in there?
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Snow: I don’t
know! I was just trying to get past the SARDINES!
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Snow: No…don’t
touch me…
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Snow: I want to
be alone…
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Snow: Oh god, I
think the sardines can see me!
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Emma: She freaked
out about sardines?
Baelfire: ?
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Snow: No! They’re
taunting me!
Charming: Yeah,
apparently there’s a traumatic childhood memory that involves both them and a
bouncy house.
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Snow: I thought
they were evil beforehand….
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Charming: Listen,
can you hurry up? Everything that links to Regina usually ends in Snow crying.
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Emma: Huh. I
forgot we had that.
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Baelfire: No way
am I going in there against sardines by myself…
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Emma: Tamara
might be doing EVIL THINGS in there!
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Baelfire: What
are you going to do? Whine about it and continue to let her walk free in town
like you do others that shouldn’t be named?
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Emma: Nah! I’m
going to stop her!
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Baelfire: Ooo,
potential chick fight….
Sardines ! This is akmost as great as Danvers. And don't worry, season 2 had a storyline : The Return Of Danvers. Will we have sadines ?
ReplyDelete"I think we'd have a musical episode before we have a body swap episode."
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA