Baelfire: Whatever, my favorite was Cogsworth anyway.
Belle: Could you try not to burn so brightly, you’re surrounded by books. Dude…
Lumiere: You can save Rumple, woman!
Belle: Are you a ghost? Because I’ve never seen you before…and what are you doing in MY library of all things?
Lumiere: Um…uh…Rumple was having a bad day so he grabbed me, grabbed some rocky road ice cream and sat there sobbing into it and telling me about how great you were.
Baelfire: Well that could be true; he spent most of season 1 whining about his failed love life to anyone that would listen
Lumiere: I know right?
Baelfire: Oh my god, he’s looking at me, this is so wrong!
Baelfire: Oh my god, he’s looking at me, this is so wrong!
Baelfire: Why should we believe anything you say when most anyone trapped by Rumple would NOT want to bring him back?
Lumiere: I don’t know!
Belle: I cleaned every part of this castle and I don’t remember ever lighting up you.
Lumiere: I…was around?
Belle: I’m out.
Balefire: Right behind you.
Belle: First let me bring my spring reading collection to get caught up on…
Belle: Huh, that one’s big and certainly not suspicious.
Baelfire: Belle! I thought we were going home!
Belle: Look, it’s a key! I have no idea why a candle knows more about it than I do and this is my own darn library…
Baelfire: He seriously trusted something this super-secret to Belle’s library in a castle left to looters after he willingly got caught?
Lumiere: Zelena wasn’t so great at his cover story…
Lumiere: Look, we just really need a way to bring him back okay?
Lumiere: Time for a walk in the snow!
Belle: I can’t go walking through the snow! I’m wearing booty shorts!
Baelfire: And where did you get those and tights in the enchanted forest
Belle: Rumple’s closet.
Baelfire: That does NOT surprise me.
Baelfire: Creepy candle…
Baelfire: We could keep him with us since he lets off enough fire to keep us warm.
Belle: Nah, leave him.
Zelena: It’s all going according to plan!
Lumiere: You couldn’t just take one of their hearts and make them do this?
Zelena: Shut up.
Zelena: Surprise! I brought my hat!
Snow: Hey…um…come in?
Zelena: How much longer is the turkey timer going to stall, I’m ready to have that kid now.
Snow: But I’m the mother1
Zelena: That’s what you think.
Snow: But I like Sunny Delight!
Zelena: Oh sweet summer child…
Zelena: You will drink this and you will like it.
Snow: But I’m not even thirsty!
Zelena: Your baby is, now drink up!
Snow: Ugh, it’s so pulpy…
Zelena: That means its working!
Snow: Um…what’s working?
Zelena: Why, vitamin C, dear.
Snow: *Is unenthused* Yaaay.
Snow: Wow, little Charming didn’t like that…
Snow: Um…Zelena? Are you okay?
Snow: I’m sure it’s fine…
Regina: I can’t believe I drove here…why can’t I just use my Storybrooke CSI to track her?
Regina: *Hears a noise* Hey! Who’s letting air out of my tires?!
Robin: Die monster! *shoots*
Regina: Your aim is terrible! My head was over here!
Robin: Hey! Sorry about nearly drilling a hole through your skull!
Robin: Not that it would’ve hit anything…
Regina: *tears up* He said I was stupid!
Robin: So, I came to hang out and wait for the wicked witch!
Regina: How did you know she was here?
Robin: I don’t know! Did we discuss it around me because until they knew Rumple was alive…all they knew about was…a suspicious locked cellar…
Robin: Can I have that back by the way?
Regina: Um…you shot me…
Robin: I have no idea what I hope to accomplish against a person that can turn people to monkeys.
Regina: Well maybe you should go.
Robin: But I wanna stay!
Robin: I have a scope…I could use…
Regina: Yes, I just nearly experienced that.
Robin: We could…go in the house together…..
Regina: I don’t even know you!
Robin: Would you like to though?
Regina: Ew! No!
Robin: But I’ll show you my tattoos!
Regina: Do I look like I’d be impressed by that?
Robin: If I flirt with you by saying yes, will you hurt me?
Regina: Come here, you!
Robin: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Don’t hurt me!
Baelfire: Chicks dig brands, right?
Hook: Sup? I’m not kissing that to make it better, but I do have jello!
Baelfire: But…I like blue! YOU like green!
Hook: I guess I’ll just have to eat it for you then!
Baelfire: I didn’t agree to that!
Baelfire: So…I met the floor today. IT seems very nice. I can see why you had a centuries long affair with it
Hook: Just keep smiling Hook; he’s trying to hit you where it hurts…
Baelfire: What were you doing in the back with my stepmom anyway?
Hook: Avoiding books dropping on my head. She thought it might be funny to launch them at me.
Hook: I wasn’t so amused…
Baelfire: That’s my stepmom!
Hook: *Is imitating* That’s my stepmom!
Baelfire: I don’t have time for fluids, I’m bolting.
Hook: Fine, whatever. I won’t stop you.
Baelfire: Can you crawl into bed and pretend to be me…
Hook: They would never fall for it, I’m too sexy
Baelfire: I’ve been cramped up inside my father’s body for a year now, can we not?
Hook: I love you too!
Baelfire: How long is a hug supposed to last?
Hook: All this time we’ve wasted squabbling because we hated each other over a woman!
Baelfire: *Breathe deep Bae, don’t punch him in the face* That’s NOT why we disliked the other!
Hook: Oh, of course we do! Don’t be silly! I’ve decided to forgive and absolve myself of all wrongdoing!
Baelfire: I hate you.
Hook: Fine Mr. Sensitive!
Baelfire: So you’re wearing tights and booty shorts in the snow…
Belle: Mmhmm, these were in his wardrobe too, they’re enchanted to keep me warm…
Baelfire: *Is freezing* You wouldn’t happen to have an extra pair, would you? Oh wait crap, those are dads, I can’t ask for that…
Belle: WHAT is going on with you?
Baelfire: I don’t know. But we brought the candlestick along to haunt my nightmares, I’m mad at you for asking we bring him!
Baelfire: I can’t believe you’re the only one that seems to care that my dad could be brought back.
Baelfire: Whoa, decline!
Belle: Nearly fell down a steep mountain there…I have the worst luck with those…
Belle: Is that dagger on your hip unsheathed?
Baelfire: I couldn’t find the sheath for it! I looked and looked everywhere!
Belle: Baelfire, they put you in a storage closet for a room
Baelfire: You want to know how much storage is ALSO in there?
Baelfire: A bunch of spiders fell on me last night when I was looking for something to keep warm with
Baelfire: I was hoping that I’d become spider man but then I remembered that none of them are radioactive.
Baelfire: I was depressed for the rest of the night after that.
Belle: Your time will come!
Belle: That vague spot over there, I think….
Baelfire: The Dark One vault is in the middle of some random meadow?
Belle: These Dark Ones don’t think through a lot of things…
Emma: You’re really trying to make up for the daddy daughter time lost, huh?
Charming: Eh, that midwife creeps me out.
Charming: Has a grin like the Joker…
Emma: Think she might be suspicious?
Charming: Well you’re mother trusts her, so I don’t see why I can’t!
Emma: Um…that’s worrisome…
Charming: Yeah, I know.
Charming: But its fine, I’m sure she won’t make off with your mother or the baby the first chance she gets. We don’t even know if they’re targeting us…
Emma: They’re always targeting us!
Rumpelstiltskin: HIIIIIIII EMMMMMA!
Emma: It’s him! I never thought I’d hear that disgusting leer again!
Charming: She MISSED it?!
Emma: Get ready to get tackled!
Rumpelstiltskin: Emma! I need a hug!
Rumpelstiltskin: I haven’t seen daylight in days, my head is pounding.
Charming: Whoa, he’s showing his wrists…to him…that’s like being topless….
Rumpelstiltskin: Also I sort of ate Bae!
Charming: I don’t get it! He was with us the whole time!
Monkey: I’m a loved one!
Rumpelstiltskin: See you later losers!
Charming: I’ll protect you, Emma!
Emma: Darn it Dadvid! Move your butt I can’t shoot what’s hopefully not Aurora or Philip!