Part 4

 

Baelfire: Emma, you have to separate us. My dad’s thoughts are with mine and I don’t think I can ever imagine my stepmom or you the way he does and EVER be okay!

 

Emma: Okaaay, but if you die then don’t come crying to me!

 

Baelfire: Just remember that if you’d found a way to keep us in the same body, Goldenfire Swan would’ve been the weirdest thing this show had ever done…

 

Emma: Hey now, that’s too weird for even me, dating someone that was with your mother…

 

Baelfire: Oh good, that bullet’s dodged…

*Hopes she doesn’t accidentally blow him up or something*

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Hiiii Emma real quick!

Emma: Eep!

Baelfire: *Flies forty feet*

 

Rumpelstiltskin: You look even better when I’m sane!

 

Emma: You still look scrummy! *Can't remember the last time she got to see him up close* 

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Oh hey Baelfire, remember the time I ate you?

Emma: What went on over there?!

 

Baelfire: So….you can save me right?

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Yeah….no…

 

Emma: You could take his heart…

 

Emma: Put him away somewhere until we found a cure…..we just saved you, is saving him so hard?

Rumpelstiltskin: Oh no! He died while we were arguing!

 

Emma: !!!

 

Baelfire: *GASPS*

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Ack!

 

Emma: You’ll be okay…it’s just a flesh wound…you can’t die…too many questions would be unanswered and relationships would be undeveloped!

 

Baelfire: Emma, you know they hate answering questions or doing any actual development at this point!

 

Baelfire: Hey put in a good world for Henry okay? You know, the son you wouldn’t let me see….

 

Baelfire: Here, have this too….

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Oh hey, YOU gave that to her? I was wondering about that….

 

Baelfire: And find Tallahassee….even if it’s with Hook I guess. What do I care? I’ll be dead and thankfully away from you people…also Zelena’s the wicked witch, you know…your mother’s midwife. Way to go, you guys are just making brilliant decisions all around…

 

Emma: Oh nooo!

 

Rumpelstiltskin: You idiots friggin’ hired ZELENA?!

 

Baelfire: Daddy! I love you! Never endanger Emma nor anyone else again…

 

Rumpelstiltskin: We’ll see.

 

Baelfire: Okay you can kill Zelena but that’s about it…

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Like you HAVE to request that…

 

Baelfire: I love you more than I love mom!

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Like that’s hard…

 

*Dies*

 

Rumpelstiltskin: The most convoluted death in the entire show…

 

Emma: Hey, you want to come with me? I might be more powerful than Zelena, we could protect you…we could have some scenes with us bonding about Baelfire…

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Nah, just wander off from Bae’s body and leave us alone for the taking…

 

Emma: Oh…okay then…

 

 Charming: Anyone home?

Emma: We couldn’t call!

Charming: No scene of me comforting Emma! Though Hook did offer…

 

Snow: Did you have to burst in? I nearly went into labor over here!

 

Snow: Are you guys looking for Zelena? She’s in the bathroom…apparently those bran muffins I gave her took their toll….

 

 Charming: Attack!

 

Charming: Oh she got away…we should’ve rethought the kicking down the door thing and maybe covered the exits…

 

Snow: It’s way too cold to leave the window open!

 

Emma: And I left Rumple hanging with Bae’s body for nothing!

 

Snow: I’m so confused.

 

Charming: Zelena’s the witch, Rumple might be a sort of ate Bae in the past and Bae died.

 

Snow: Oh no! I let her borrow my copy of Hunger Games!

 

Emma: I’m guessing you missed the part where Henry’s one third an orphan…

 

Snow: Oh noooo!

 

Emma: I know he’s died like seven times already but I’m not sure it’s so affective as it was the last two times we all lost him…

 

Snow: Poor thing!

 

Snow: Boy, I’m super glad I knew how to bring back Charming and forgot or this would be awkward!

 

*Is rotting*

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Emma and Charming just randomly walked off, the jerks…

 

Zelena: Sorry I’m late, I had to climb out a window, you wouldn’t believe it!

 

Zelena: Oh hey, you guys separated; finally I can have a decent conversation….but a bit more boring…

 

Zelena: Ready to hear my plans?

Rumpelstiltskin: Want to hear mine? I guarantee they’re far gorier than yours…

 

Rumpelstiltskin: I mean you killed my son to bring me back when…why do you need me again? I mean you figured out everything you need…

 

Zelena: Bragging rights I guess…hurting you probably…

 

Rumpelstiltskin: How about I make you a nice matching corpse…

 

Zelena: I have a dagger!

 

Rumpelstiltskin: And I have the status as a show regular; want to see who is going to outlast who?

 

Zelena: So did Baelfire, Red, and Belle and we hardly see them…

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Oh…

 

Zelena: We’re going to go back in time and make you all pick me and not Regina…

 

Zelena: Maybe if you cry right, I’ll let you get Bae back again!

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Yeahhhhh, I’d rather just stab you…

 

Zelena: Wait, why?

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Are you even asking that question?

 

Zelena: I’ve already forgotten what we’re talking about…

 

Zelena: DAGGER!

 

Zelena: I love your brain!

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Are you really coming on to me over my son’s body?

 

Rumpelstiltskin: Into the cage I go, I guess…since we’re outed, I can’t think of a more public obvious place to hide me….

 

Rumpelstiltskin: At least I still have my beloved stool…

 

Rumpelstiltskin: This is exactly why the good guys should never do anything…

 

Robin: Son! There you are!

Roland: Papa! It’s been days!

 

Regina: Oh, so what if a character died? Focus on my love life as I watch them from the bushes nearly…

 

Regina: What a message! You make a big mistake and try to atone and you die or lose everything but mass murderers like me get a happy ending without taking account for our monstrous actions!

 

Hook: Hey guys? Who do I talk to about that Mickey Mouse phone OTHER than Belle?

Belle: Hold me!

 

Belle: I’m so happy you remember who I am! You guys care about me!

 

Snow: Just hold me, Belle. My midwife killed my grandson’s father!

 

Hook: So….when would be appropriate to date Emma?

Charming: Heel boy…

 

Emma: Boy, I hope everyone got the memo not to show magic with Henry in town…

 

Rudo: What lovely birds….

 

Emma: Man…this is going to be awkward when I lie to him and then admit I lied about another lie…

 

Rudo:  Mom! There you are! Regina just randomly left me standing here last episode and I haven’t been able to find my way back!

 

Emma: *Sniiiiiiiifles*

 

Rudo: Hey, what’s wrong?

Emma: *lets out a long mournful wail*

 

Rudo: I’m…going to go get you some help

 

Emma: Sit down Rudo!

 

Rudo: Okay…

 

Emma: So long story short, the reason we’re here instead of cozying up to your new stepdad is because we were…um…here for your real dad!

 

Rudo: Where does the pirate fit into all this?

 

Emma: I don’t know! But your dad died and now you never get to meet him!

 

Rudo: …

 

Rudo: THANKS mom!

 

Emma: It seemed like a good idea at the time!

 

Rudo: I don’t suppose this is something we can undo, can we?

 

Emma: Everyone else? Literally yes, but not him.

 

Emma: I’m going to miss his scarves!

 

Emma: And all that’s left is Hook!

 

Rudo: *Is REALLY irritated by that*

 

Emma: I’m sure it’ll all work out…

 

Rudo:  Oh, ten seconds of having a reaction…

 

Rudo: Don’t worry mom, you’ll skewer her good…I have faith that you can do that!

 

Emma: *Is worried that THOSE parts of Henry will emerge first* Oh Rudo….

The End

Baelfire getting the OOC sendoff that he did was friggin’ ridiculious. Bringing him back just to throw him in a love triangle, limit his screentime and sever all interesting relationships was crap writing and not ‘bold’ writing that they kept trying to tell us. These writers don't know the meaning of 'bold', there's no long lasting consequences for anything anyone does.