Killian: How
about this look for the ladies? Exciting right?
Liam: Killian,
you’re never going to get girls in that uniform…or out of it.
Killian: Dang it
Liam, you know I can’t read maps! That’s why I keep putting in for a GPS
system!
Liam: Friggin’ Killian,
we’re going out of this world! That was to show you that we’re not headed to
any world you know about!
Killian: …
Killian: ….Do you
know what happens to sailors that drink?
Liam: Can’t have
FIVE MINUTES without something happening. Killian, what did you do?
Killian: How was
I to know that the woman slapping me last night was the mayor’s daughter?!
Killian: I still
remember the blows!
Liam: *Kicks in the
backside* Why don’t we leave you?!
Liam: Drop the
new sail!
*Are hard at work*
Liam: *Squees*
Killian: Is
that-….
Liam: *Giggles*
Killian: That’s
the blanket that mom made me!
Liam: *Is lying*
No! Shut up! It’s the Pegasus sail!
Hook: Pegasus has
a big butt wingspan then…
Killian: Wait…Pegasus
is that one horse that can…
Killian: AUGH!
OH! OH MY GOD! WE’RE NOT EQUIPPED FOR THIS!
Captain of Other
Ship: Oh wow, this is why soldiers don’t get drunk.
Killian: *Is keeping
a death grip on the rail* I just remembered that I hate heights.
Liam: Just don’t
fall over, from this distance you’ll probably splat on the water like it was
concrete.
Killian: *Didn’t want
to know that* Oh….g-good to know.
Killian: Being
hoisted by one itty bitty sail, it’s so nice that the crew is totally on board
with this.
Liam: Oh, they’re on board with anything apparently.
Liam: Here goofy
face, it’s yours.
Killian: He used
our old nickname!
Liam: Just like
dad used to!
Killian: *Is full
of hope* I’m going to be captain one day too!
Liam: IT’s nice
to have delusions.
Killian: Wheeee!
Emma: We gotta
split up? Serious? Didn’t you watch any horror movies when you were over in our
land, that’s a bad idea!
Hook: Living with
Cora WAS a horror movie, do you know what sort of roomie she was?
Regina: Did she share
at you while talking about plans she had for you while you slept? Because I
sympathize with that one a lot.
Emma: What is
with the people I choose to hang around?
Hook: We have to
go for a super-secret mission to retrieve a sextant.
Emma: You just
want to say ‘sextant’ a lot, don’t you?
Hook: I look
forward to the reward you’ll give me when we get back.
Charming: What’s
going on over there?!
Hook: Well, I’m
off! Smooches!
Charming: What?!
Snow: Don’t put
the rope around yourself like that; you’ll probably end up falling over and strangling
yourself or something.
Emma: Dadvid?
What do you have to say about all this?
Snow: *Is giving ‘the
eye’* Charming….
Charming: I’m not
headed up there as a death wish that can only end badly for me!
Snow: Oh, okay
then!
Regina: That’s
very specific….
Snow: But if Hook
comes back without you ore Regina smarts off…mmmimpressive noose here.
Regina: *Is Awkward*
Charming: So…*Is awkward*
Charming: Stay
away from the pirate and Rumpelstiltskin.
Emma: You can’t
tell me what to do!
Charming: Yes I
can! I’m your father and what I say before heading to a final mission goes!
Charming: And why
are you defending the right to hang out with Pirates and Dark Ones anyway?
Charming: Oh
teenage rebellion…just like me when everyone told me not to marry your mother.
Snow: What?!
Charming: GLOMP
ATTACK!
Emma: Too much
information processing. Going into overload! Abort! Abort!
Emma: No wait,
this is pretty nice…
Charming: *Still has
no idea what he’s doing and scratches the back of her head* There’s a good
girl.
Regina: If this
was all it took to get them separated, I’d have done it years ago.
Charming: Uh….
Charming: GLOMP
ATTACK!
Snow: Oh, this is
pretty nice….
Charming: La la
la *Sniffles*
Snow: I have
complete faith that you will come up happy, healthy, and unharmed and unbound
to anyone or anything that isn’t me…
Snow: Or you
better not!
Charming: I’m
beginning to see why people were so freaked out by Mary Margaret…
Charming: And I
find it hot.
Regina: I hope he
keeps his lips to himself around me…
*Are nuzzling noses*
Snow: He’s so
dreamy when he’s sweaty and delusional!
Charming: Ugh, I
just realized my last moments will be spent with Hook!
Pumba: Hakunnah Matata,
what could ever go wrong?
Devin: Oh, I Hope
this isn’t the Dreamshade spear…
Emma: Shoot the
net!
Regina: Shoot his
face!
*Has a net dropped on
him*
Devin: Crap! *Yanks net off and runs*
Snow: I knew that
if we just randomly set a net somewhere then EVENUTALLY a Lost Boy would walk
under it!
Emma: Momgret!
Stop shooting at him!
Snow: Die! Die!
Die!
Devin: This is a
horrible day; it doesn’t feel like Friday at all!
Emma: It’s
Friday?
Emma: Today is
payday back home…
Regina: Hello
lonely child, would you like to betray your evil sadistic overlord who still
has all the power on this island?
Regina: I’ll give
you chocolate!
Devin: Are you
serious?
Regina: Look, I
don’t even let my own kid have these, so count your little blessings.
Emma: Or you can
just ignore her like we all do and listen to me when I tell you that we can get
you home!
Devin: You do
realize that my home is probably gone and my family dead, right? So really,
you’re not offering me anything that I believe you can fulfill!
Emma: Pan is
horrible, you should betray him even though he has ears everywhere, look what
he did to your face!
Devin: What makes
you so certain that Pan or anyone else cut my face? I could’ve just fallen for
all you know!
Regina: Chooocooollatteeeee!
Regina: Look,
he’s taking it; I knew this would be a cinch! Ready to be Henry’s mother now!
Devin: It’s got
peanuts! *Tosses*
Devin: Henry did
this to my beautiful mug.
Emma: I
automatically believe you!
Emma: Though I
have no idea why…
Regina: He
mutilated his first boy and I wasn’t there to see and cheer him on to do worse!
Friggin’ Pan stealing my kid before I could!
Hook: Darn it,
Charming. Keep up!
Charming: My
energy is dropping!
Hook: Not me! I
chugged five energy drinks on the way here!
Charming: Rum in
your never ending flasks don’t count as ‘energy drinks’
Hook: I WAS going
to offer you some but not now.
Charming: Seriously,
where are you getting that stuff?
Hook: I don’t
want to tell.
Charming: Tangled!
Help! I’m tangled!
Charming: Uh *Raises hand* I have a question.
Hook: Okay fine!
We’re surrounded by Rum trees! Just shove a knife in and you get rum! That’s
why I’ve been sucking on trees when you caught me those two times!
Charming: Actually,
I was going to ask that you pull me up the mountain seeing as how my death is
suddenly coming on me like a ton of bricks.
Hook: Oh….
Charming: So are
you going to help me or not?
Hook: I was going
to ask that you pull ME up. Because I have to save energy for the way and back.
You get the privilege of a one way trip.
Charming: Oh, you
won’t have to because when we reach the top and you get the sextant, I’m going to
push you off!
Charming: Do you
even feel bad that you spend most of season 2 working with people who wanted us
dead and didn’t care that Emma and others were collateral damage?
Hook: But…I’m
here now and stuff!
Charming: So
that’s a ‘no’ then.
Hook: Look, just
forget about all the horrible things I’ve done, okay? The writers are!
*Is trying not to
faint at the height of that thing*
Hook: I hate
heights too!
Charming: I
don’t! Let’s get going!
Hook: Won’t the
climb exert you, make your heart beat faster and spread the poison to your
system more rapidly?
Charming: Isn’t
that why you brought me?
Hook: Little bit!
Killian: So…why
are we here again?
Liam: We’re
looking for something called Dreamshade! It was amazing healing properties.
Killian: That’s
not what our wiki said one day when I was randomly browsing it.
Killian: Oh man,
I could build my vacation house here!
Liam: Don’t be
silly Killian, we don’t get paid enough afford a vacation house.
Liam: Killian,
just go looking for this plant okay? I’ll stay on the beach and provide morale
for the crew that we left on the ship for some odd reason.
Killian: That’s
the only reason you brought me?!
Liam: Well yeah,
it’s not for your gritty focus on getting things done no matter the cost.
Pan: Hey guys!
What’s up?
Liam: EEEEKKK!
Killian: EEEEEKKK!
Killian: Aw!
Look, he’s a little adorable boy!
Liam: Tell us
where the dreamshade is, punk!
Pan: You two are
wearing white pants to the beach, isn’t that a fashion faux paus?
Liam: *Is looking* Whatever
it is that we worship! I’m covered in sand! This will take forever to wash out!
Pan: Yep, just me
here allllll alone!
Killian: But
you’re not a threat?
Pan: I’m like
fifteen! How threatening could I possibly be?
Pan: But that
Dreamshade stuff will kill you, guys. Might want to rethink this strategy?
Killian: Aw, he’s
cute Liam. Can’t we take him with us?
Liam: No! He
looks shady!
Liam: And so he
must know where the Dreamshade is!
Pan: Aw! They
colored it and everything. Also how does anyone know this exists? Do they see
it in their dreams?
Liam: I don’t
know, the less I question it, the less I have to be here
Killian: Liam
gets grumpy when he’s on the beach with no ladies!
Pan: Well, just
go walking in the forest, you’re sure to find some or something.
Killian: *Is
enthusiastic* Okay!
Liam: I don’t
trust him…he has evil eyebrows…
Pan: *Is singing ‘Why
Can’t We Be Friends?’*
Killian: Maybe
our King is a liar!
Liam: Nonsense!
This kid is looking at us like he wants to keep us captive here! And he’s
British, so you KNOW how they are!
Killian: I don’t
know what you’re talking about! He’s not creepy in the least.
Pan: *Happy sigh*
Killian: Okay,
maybe a little.
Liam: We have
opted not to listen to you!
Pan: Just like
the putzes you are!
Killian: I
totally did though, just so you know!
Pan: Don’t say I
didn’t warn you!
Killian: *Enthusiastic
wave* Okay! Nice meeting you!
Liam: KILLIAN!
STOP TALKING TO THE NATIVES!
Killian: OKAY
CHARMING, YOU READY?!
Charming: I’m
ready to catch it!
Killian: Really
this might go faster if I just climbed up myself…
Pan: Aren’t those
the same clothes you LEFT in?
Hook: Oh hi Pan! *Is awkward* Uh….hey…
Hook: *Is shuffling
feet* So, what’s up?
Pan: You’re not
helping Charming up that mountain, ARE YOU?!
Hook: No, I’m
helping my invisible friend Michelle Rodriguez up here…it’s not my fault
Charming wants to climb too.
Charming: HEY
HOOK! WHERE DID YA GO?!
Pan: I stopped
believing that invisible friend thing 200 years ago!
Hook: Oh Pan, you
got fat!
Pan: And you
got…erm…hairier?
Pan: Which I
didn’t think was possible because I saw that ponytail of shame.
Hook: *Sniffles*
It was a fad!
Pan: So, wanna
kill Charming for me?
Charming: HOOK! HELP ME UP!
Hook: It’s
becoming more and more tempting but if I go back with no Charming to my name,
I’ll get shot, stabbed, and magicked probably because I imagine you’ll tip off
what I did.
Pan: Remember
when you used to work for me?
Hook: Yeah!
No…can we have some flashbacks on that?
Pan: Okay how
drunk are you?
Hook: I dunwanna
talk about it!
Pan: …..
Hook: Use your
magic Breathalyzer and see *Blows*
Hook: Does that
give you a hint?
Pan: Mmm, I like
action.
Hook: *Just realized
Pan is standing behind him* What?!
Pan: Why do I
hear fangirls squealing?
Hook: Why do you
think?! Saying thing like that!
Pan: I want to
see you put your hook inside his body!
Pan: Oh God,
there they go again!
Hook: Maybe you
should just shut up, how’s that for a hint?
Pan: Look, just
kill him and you can have Emma!
Hook: *is whispering*
Emma is totally ‘pro-Henry’ now.
Pan: WHAT?! Not
abandoning your kid? I don’t…comprehend that!
Pan: Whatever,
eventually you’ll get drunk or Charming will start talking and shutting him up
will look tempting!
Hook: Your mom
looks temp- Where did you go?!
Charming: DUDE,
SERIOUSLY?!
Charming: I think
I just took three more hours off my life waiting for you!
Hook: *Pouts*
Hook: *Blubbers*
You don’t know what it’s like to be me!
Charming: But I
do know what it’s like to have limited time because I’m dying, can we hurry
please?
Hook: *Doesn’t like
to be told to stop meandering*
Hook: *Is being
tempted*
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