3x06 Part 4

 

Hook: Hellooooo! *silence* Darn Echo caves and their false advertising…

 

Emma: *Peeks out* Where are the dangers that killed half your crew?

Hook: Uh…gone…It WAS centuries you know*Doesn’t want to bring up the fact that they were really drunk that day*

 

Emma: its fine…we can just build a really big ladder.

Charming: Awful convenient that Regina runs off in a temper tantrum when we need her magic the most…

Baelfire: How did they get me here?

 

Snow: its fine, we can just build a giant grapple hook!

 

Emma: But I HATE heights!

Baelfire: Emmmmmma! Why are you with the guy that sold me out to the Lost Boys?!

 

Emma: That was too far away, what did he say?

 

Hook: *Is confused* Why are you with the pie that sold me sprout to the tossed noise?

 

Snow: *Is confused* Why are you with the sly that told me ‘shout to the crossed toys’?

 

Charming: *Is confused* Don’t watch Marble Hornets in the dark and alone in your house?

 

Emma: So how does this bridge thing work? Did Pan rig it so that everyone at once had to make a confession or does the cave only work for those that enter?

 

Hook: I will go first to show you how it’s done!

 

Emma: No…that’s okay….

Hook: So, after a season of not caring if you got hurt or died, I’ve suddenly decided that I care about you!

Hook: *Fake sniffles* You make me want to move on!

Baelfire: That’s your deep dark secret?! You want to move on is way more of a deep dark secret than “I’ve been lying to you about Bae and my relationship and I sold him out to possibly die at 14?!”

 

Hook: Shaddup Bae! It’s not your turn for Secret Circle Time!

 

Emma: *Is distracted and wasn’t paying attention to a thing that just happened.*

 

*Are distracted as well.*

 

Hook: So…pretty much ‘Milah who’?

 

Emma: Really dude? You tortured Archie. And that’s unforgivable in my eyes.

 

Hook: That doesn’t count! That was last season!

 

Emma: It was like two weeks ago!

 

Hook: I don’t remember that…

 

*Is worried since she does*

Snow: Oh boy

Hook: Please go out with me?

 

Emma: Dude. No. I’m trying to focus on saving my kid!

 

Emma: EW! Is that rock facing aroused?!

 

Charming: *Opens his mouth to speak*

Snow: Charming I want to go next!

Charming: But-

Snow: I want to have your babies, Charming!

 

Snow: I’m sort of a fan…

 

Emma: Yeah, but you guys had me…

 

Snow: Can’t hear you, Emma. I actually want a kid that I’m not forced to miss moments with, awful convenient that Regina’s not around to hear what she stole from me…

 

Snow: Yeah, sorry Emma….

Charming: But didn’t you spend 28 years in the shape of just having given birth?

 

Snow: Yeah, you would think that….

 

Snow: I really dread the thought of having that body shape again…

 

Emma: Ooooh,

 

Snow: And I feel super horrible for wanting to be a mother again but we’re going to be fifty by the time we get our issues worked out with Emma and I don’t want to wait that long!

 

Charming: We are fifty-something…

Snow: You KNOW what I meant!

Charming: Well we can’t have a baby because I can’t leave the island!

 

Snow: WHAT?!

 

Charming: Why not a little louder, Snow? I don’t think Bae heard you!

 

Emma: Oh! Momgret dropped a quarter!

Hook: MINE!

 

Charming: I wanted everyone to focus on getting Henry and not to focus on me…so I didn’t tell you. Except for Hook. He knew too and didn’t tell you.

 

Hook: I see myself in this quarter!

 

Charming: So…if you want another baby…um…I hear Whale is single?

 

Charming: *Is trying to smile*

Snow: I don’t want WHALE! He’d just moan about his brother and drink all the liquor I hid from Emma!

 

Charming: Oh well…awkward….

 

Snow: Are you saying you want to separate from me?!

 

Hook: *Snaps out of Daydream* Zuh? What happened?

Charming: No! Hook just made it so we HAVE to!

 

Snow: ….

Snow: Are you breaking up with me for HIM?!

 

Charming: I would never do that, Snow. When you conked me over the head, I felt love. When he conked me over the head, I felt dizzy and really nauseated…

 

Charming: Also my jaw hurt for days when we first met…

 

*Is complete*

 

Emma: Well, here I go.

Baelfire: *Is drumming his fingers impatiently*

 

Hook: *Is trying to put the attention back on him* Hey Emma! Is this my sword or am I just happy to see you?

Snow: That’s on the wrong side, idiot!

 

Emma: Thank God you’re here, now maybe Hook will stop flirting!

Baelfire: That’s unlikely….

Emma: *Is sawing*

Baelfire: I’m not sure that’s working…

 

Emma: Then I’ll try to break it by shoving it over this cliff!

 

Baelfire: Woah! What are you, nuts? I’ll break every bone in my body!

 

Emma: Either you fall and it doesn’t break and you’re fine, or it breaks and you break and you’re out! Which is it?!

Baelfire: I pick neither…actually…

 

Emma: Stupid Bae, always playing it safe.

 

Baelfire: Okay, my turn for a secret…

 

Emma: Facing you and how you left me hurts and I was scared to face that when I found out you were alive! I didn’t actually mean I wished you physically dead, so stop misinterpreting this scene, please.

Baelfire: You know…the door’s on the other side…of the cage…

 

Emma: This is the sickest ‘lets be friends’ speech ever….

 

Baelfire: *Sobs*

Baelfire: I get it…also Hook sold me out to the Lost Boys, and I’m not sure he’ll ever apologize so you should know that before you let our son near him….

 

Emma: What? My cell phone battery was dying….I didn’t hear you over the beeping…odd time for the echoes to suddenly come on…

 

Emma: Weelp, what were you saying?

 

Baelfire: Nevermind….

Emma: Best friends!

 

Emma: *Sniffles*

 

Emma: But let’s pretend we’re going out to annoy Hook, okay?

 

Baelfire: Better than I thought this would go!

 

Hook: Oh noooooo *Slowly lowers sword back to normal level*

Charming: Well…Neal’s not Jiminy but he’ll do…

Snow: IT’s so romantic!

Emma: Wow…his hugs are amazing….

 

Emma: Wow, I am done emoting for the day, I am exhausted

 

Baelfire: *Is running in slow motion* Emmmmma!

 

Baelfire: Hey, so how’s your week been?

Snow: I’m so happy you’re here! Way happier than I was about ten minutes ago!

Hook: What?!

 

Baelfire: I know, also I can escape this island because I was beating up shadows at 14 years old.

 

Hook: I thought that was a star map that was the fruit of my labor from teaching you.

 

Baelfire: Uhhhhhhhhhhh no.

 

Hook: Oh…well…

 

Hook: The official island greeter is here, which pretty much makes me useless…

 

Snow: I’m going to go mock him about it!

Baelfire: Hey…so about our portal confessions…

 

Emma: Bae, I don’t want to talk about that now! People could be listening!

Hook: No I’m not!

 

Emma: …..

 

Baelfire: No. There’s no privacy on this island.

 

Emma: Hook follows me around everywhere and listens in, it’s really creepy.

Hook: Not always!

Baelfire: See, I don’t do that. Also I’m trying to remember when exactly I washed the blood out of my shirt and what detergent I used…

Emma: Yeah, you don’t follow me around, which probably means that we’re not in love in some people’s eyes that want to sail their own ship.

Baelfire: So…I know where Pan keeps his snack pile.

 

Emma: Really?!

 

Baelfire: He’s a Little Debbie fan, that one!

Hook: The things you hear when you’re emptying your bladder…..

Charming: Snow, I can explain

Snow: NOPE!

 

Charming: Let’s tal-

Snow: NOPE!

 

Charming: Lala-

Snow: NOPE!

 

Snow: *Is coughing up gallons of water* Next time, go to the surface occasionally!

Ariel: Sorry…

 

Snow: Not all of us have gills, you know!

Ariel: Well you could have…BUT YOU WEREN’T HAPPY WITH IT!

Snow: Oh dry land, I will never leave you again….

 

Snow: So…go say hi to your true love for me. Tell Eric I said ‘nunchunks’. It’s an inside joke; only he can get it…don’t be shocked though…if he starts crying…

Ariel: TRUE LOVE ZOMG!

Snow: Yeah yeah, don’t shatter my eardrums…

 

Ariel: Best friends!

 

Snow: Thank God, that’s over.

Eric: Well, she’s not coming. Any other girls I can randomly ask to hang out?

 

Servant: Sir, Prince James asks if he can join the caravan….his message states… “I need a wingman, you’ll do.”

 

Eric: Well, he does know how to bring the party….and we’re princes, so it’s not like the cops will bust us this time…

 

Eric: Am I a prince or a king?

Servant: My indentured servitude doesn’t require me to answer you philosophical inquiries.

 

Ariel: *Dog paddles*

 

Eric: La-bibbida Bibba dum……la bibbida bibba doo….

 

Ariel: ZOMGERIC!

 

Ariel: Oh no! My chronic laryngitis!

 

Ariel: Of all times!

 

Ariel: ADFRLAKFDJKALD!

 

Eric: Well….bored now.

 

Ariel: Guess splashing and throwing things is too hard….

 

Ariel: *Is giving him that look*

Regina: Thanks for returning back to the pier you left me at; I mean that really made it easy. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself when you popped up! Can’t believe you missed me!

 

Regina: Seriously, I was like right here.

 

Regina: I can’t feel my own legs, thanks for that.

 

Ariel: *Sniffles*

Regina: Don’t give me that look! I’m the victim!

 

Regina: I’m still squirting blood…

 

Ariel: ….

 

Regina: Speechless at my presence? Yeah that happens…

 

Ariel: *Sniffles…*

Regina: You knew him for like five minutes, Ariel. There are other fish in the sea.

 

Ariel: *Is mouthing a lot of things*

Regina: *Is offended* Geez, I’d put soap in your mouth if it wouldn’t dissolve.

 

Ariel: *Is giving the look*

 

Ariel: *Wails*

 

Regina: What a long night of ruining lives. I’m exhausted…but not tired *Claps hands together*

 

Ursula: Regina, WTF?!

Regina: *Is horrified that that status is moving* Ursula, WTF?!

Regina: You lost weight?!

 

Ursula: I’ve been working out! What’s this about you imitating me? I get offended by that!

 

Regina: Mrgle!

Eric: OUR STATUE IS ALIVE! *Starts screaming*

Ursula: *Sigh* I have to take care of this…

 

Regina: I think she broke every bone in my body!

 

Regina: SEASHELL!

 

Rumpelstiltskin:  Regina, stop picking up seashells! We have to work!

Regina: Well you wouldn’t build a sandcastle with me…

Rumpelstiltskin:  I leave you alone for five minutes and you want to have a day at the beach.

Regina: Didn’t have to kick it over, I’m just saying..

Regina: Imma blow it!

 

Rumpelstiltskin:  Bae totally put his mouth on it *Giggles*

*Plays the William Tell song*

*Are waiting*

 

*Are waiting*

 

*Are waiting*

 

Regina: This should have worked!

 

Rumpelstiltskin:  I’m going back to the camp now…

 

Ariel: *Mouths a bunch of foul words.* *Flails angrily*

Regina: *Is jovial* Hey Ariel! What’s up?!

 

Ariel: *The Look*

 

Rumpelstiltskin:  Mermaids are portal jumpers now?! Do they go to non-magical worlds? Why couldn’t I just jump on one’s back and paddle to the portal?

Rumpelstiltskin:  I would commend you on thinking of something, but this relationship probably depends on you pissing her off and unlike you, I’m smart enough not to do that to mermaids. You can’t go skinny dipping in the ocean when that happens…

Rumpelstiltskin:  *Waits for reaction*

Regina: *Didn’t want to imagine Rumpelstiltskin skinny dipping*

 

Regina: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ariel and I are totally friends.

 

Rumpelstiltskin:  She’s flipping you off!

Regina: It’s fine, that’s our secret handshake.

 

Regina: Hey Ariel! Got a job for your lazy carcass.

 

Ariel: You ruined my life and took my voice, you *#@*@&ing $**#*# @&!* #&& *!(#$! AND WHO IS HE?!

 

Regina: Yeah yeah, it’s good to see you too. Get something for us!

 

Ariel: Yeah, I’m not putting this on; I saw how that went last time!

 

Regina: For heaven’s sake! It’s not a trap this time!

Rumpelstiltskin:  What the frig went on when I was vacationing?

 

Ariel: I’m missing George Bubbles funeral for this! Did I even have the free will to come or was I forced? And how can a mermaid have pierced ears wen there’s fish and organisms and the like in the ocean that would infect the piercing?

 

Ariel: Eric better be where I’m going!

 

Regina: He is!

Regina: At least I think…

 

Ariel: That’s not something you say at lot, is it?

 

Regina: We’re such best friends who snark! Go to Storybrooke!

The End. 

I wish I could say that I"m regretting this decision but I"m not. Really it's been a huge amount of stress gone. I do regret not fulfilling the ability to at least get to episode 11 but with Episodes like Dark Hollow and Save Henry waiting for me....best not to go. Thank you all for understanding and I truly appreciate you all that have stuck with this for nearly 3 years. I appreciate all of you.