Baelfire: Okay,
we’re almost there. Now we all have to be stealthy and focused otherwise we’ll
be separated and have our souls ripped out to be one of them. No pressure!
Emma: Use your
sword.
Hook: Thanks for
that shave, Emma.
Baelfire: Huh.
You kept it.
Hook: Well it was
one of the swords that I have you, why would I throw good steel overboard?
Emma: Yo, why are
you two mad at each other?
Hook: *Scoffs*
Probably because we’re fighting over you.
Hook: It also
might be on account of the time I did some business with Pan that screwed him
over or the times all in season 2 when I worked with your enemies to either
maim or kill all of you but I’m TOTALLY sure it’s just all about you and your
Susie Secret self about our kissing.
Hook: HOW COME
YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM ABOUT US?!
Emma: You mean
the kiss that I said was a one-time thing? Why would you assume that I told
him? And why didn’t you even ask me?
Hook: Because
feelings!
Emma: Dude, we’re
here to save my son.
Hook: But my
feelings!
Emma: Are not
friggin the priority here! My God, stop being Bella fricking Swan. The world
does not revolve around your love.
Hook: But you’ll
have to choose-
Emma: No
Hook: But-
Emma: Is that the
sound of Bae screaming in agony as the shadows rip into him?
Hook: No shut up,
but I had this memorized! You’re totes going to fall for me! I’m going to win
you. I’m going to win you so gooooood…..
Emma: You’re not
setting a good image for yourself thus far…
Hook: *Is depressed*
Hook: *Singing* “Hey I just met you…and this
is crazy-.”
Emma: No.
Hook: *Eyes of love*
Emma: No
Hook: *Staring contest*
Emma: *blinks*
Curses
Hook: *Random boy
behavior*
Hook: *Is proud that
he can do that and hopes she’s charmed*
Emma: No.
Hook: WHAT’S IG
GOING TO TAKE?!
Baelfire: Are you
guys stuck at the red light? I fought
like 20 shadows without you guys.
Hook: We’re
having a dalliance?
Emma: stop saying
that! No we’re not!
Baelfire: Okay
everyone, be very very quiet…we’re hunting shadows…*Elmer Fudd laugh*
Hook: *Rolls eyes*
Emma: This
doesn’t seem so bad.
Emma: Oh…
Baelfire: Oh
yeah, the wind here is terrible. Just thought you should know
Baelfire: Luckily
when the shadows were visiting other shadow family members during the holidays,
I would sneak in here and memorize the place with my eyes closed in case this
happened!
Hook: *Is jealous*
Show off!
*Is navigating with
his eyes closed*
Hook: I hope one
of the shadow babies left a roller skate out…
Belle: *Is flailing*
Ariel: We
could’ve taken them. That’s all I’m saying.
Belle: I had to
get tied up, beat up or generally screwed with on my appearance to fulfil my
contract obligation. Now that that’s out of the way, we can kick some arse.
Ariel: Awesome! I
have the exact thingamabob for the stabbing too!
Belle: *Is frustrated*
It’s a corkscrew Ariel, for Rumple’s sake…
Belle: *Imitating Ariel* It’s a thingamabob
dinglehopper whatchadiggy!
Ariel: Well I
can’t know these things for I am a mermaid!
Belle: And you smell
like one too.
Ariel: That’s it;
I’m going forsake my perfect makeup and styled hair for the sake of my fin to
SLAP you with!
Belle: Oh boy am
I scared! I’ll wait for it while you flail around on the floor because you
forgot that you don’t breathe air...
Ariel: Well we’ll
just see who’ll win then!
*are wrestling over
the bracelet*
Belle: Ha! I got
it! Victory!
Belle: Eep!
Belle: *Is knocked
out*
Ariel: Hey, look
who isn’t bound for some reason! *waves her free arms around*
Belle: Concussion…call
for help…
Ariel: Oh, these ropes
come off rather easily!
Belle: Those
little arses come into MY town! Where’s my army, I need them! And Red isn’t
picking up her phone!
Belle: Maybe
they’re still hanging out in the street somewhere…
Belle: Oh! Oh!
Oh! *Is jumping up and down* I just
thought of something!
Belle: They’re
totally at the mines!
Ariel: Why would
they go all the way there?
Belle: Silly
Ariel. Everything of importance happens at the mines!
Belle: I’m so smart;
I’m going there by myself don’tfollowme!
Charming: Hm…that
tree sap almost glued my lips together.
Snow: *Wishes it was
permanent*
Charming: Snow! I
will always find you!
Charming: LALALALALA
Snow: *Record
screech*
Charming: Oh
crap, am I about to die?
Snow: I can’t
believe Hook figured out something I didn’t! You two had your little bestieship
over your possible death!
Charming: I
wanted to crush his head in, but he wouldn’t let me!
Snow: And I
wanted to push him off a cliff
Snow: I ALWAYS
WANTED TO LIVE IN THE JUNGLE!
Charming: You
did?
Snow: IT WAS ON
MY CHRISTMAS WISHLIST EVERY YEAR SINCE WE MET!
Snow: YOU
SHOULD’VE REALIZED IT AT SOME POINT!
Charming: I
must’ve skipped that part because humidity makes my hair curl.
Charming: Wait,
what about Emma? Don’t you want to stay with her too?
Snow: Oh snap, I
forgot about her…
Charming: We
could be a whole family living here! Just like Swiss Family Robinson!
Snow: We can’t be
Swiss Family Robinson, there’s no misplaced wildlife here…
Charming: Then
we’ll bring some! Starting with the dwarves!
Snow: *Is a little in
love*
Snow: Wait! What
about indoor plumbing! I’m tired of using leaves and hoping they’re not poison!
Charming: We
shall ask Rumple to make us bathrooms!
Snow: What…about…caffeine?
Charming: We’ll
make our own?
Snow: Oh honey!
Snow: All we have
to do is brutally murder Pan and we can take over this dump
Charming: Yes honey,
I know.
*are in love again*
*Is humming mission
impossible*
Emma: Where did
all this light come from?
Hook: My shining
personality?
Emma: No
Hook: *Groans*
Baelfire: Well, this is as good a spot as any.
Baelfire: So this
is a very special coconut…don’t ask why this can capture shadows and not
something else, but it just CAN!
Emma: Why does it
have the holes at the top?
Baelfire: Because
I get scared of the dark
Hook: Wimp. I’m
not scared of anything. I am vengeance!
I am the night-
Baelfire: WTF?
You’re not Batman
Hook: I have dead
parents! I’m totally Batman
Baelfire: Hold
on, this lighter’s acting up….
Hook: Why do you
even HAVE a lighter?!
Baelfire: Technical
difficulties…give me a sec…
Hook: I WANT TO
TRY!
Baelfire: It’s
not going to be accessed by a special touch, okay? It’s a friggin lighter!
Hook: I WANNA
TRY!
Baelfire: Okay,
seriously? We’re doing this?
Hook: How come it
doesn’t work?
Baelfire: How do
you even know how to work a lighter?
Hook: No! It’s
mine!
Baelfire: It’s mine!
I paid like 12 bucks!
Hook: Gimme!
Baelfire: Gimme!
Hook: Gimme!
*Triangle staring
contest*
Emma: Wow, I
could’ve done this on my own and been back by now.
*Runs over to arm-wrestle
over Emma like the cavemen they’re acting like*
Emma: Friggin’ do
this myself*
Shadow: Will you
shut up?! We’re trying to sleep!
Emma: WHAT ARE
THOSE NIGHTMARE INDUCING THINGS!
Hook: Shut up
Emma, we’re fighting over you!
Baelfire: Quick!
Do a danceoff! It’s the only way!
*Dance off*
*dance off*
Emma: It’s not
working! *curls up in a fetal position*
Emma: Uh…guys…
Baelfire: Stop
groping me!
Emma: I could
just leave them….
Emma: Happy place, happy place…
Emma: *Flails blindly
with her sword*
*Are getting their
shadows ripped out*
Hook: Pardon me,
that’s mine…
Emma: It’s not
even a scented candle either…
Emma: Oh well,
might as well save them. If I don’t, I don’t get to beat their heads into the
ground later…
Emma: Oh frig! I
never expected it to actually WORK!
Shadow: Not
again!
*Splat*
Hook: I fell on
my hook!
Baelfire: I fell
on my Magic 8 ball!
Emma: Hey, looks
like I saved the day and you guys didn’t.
Emma: Losers.
Henry: Sneaky,
sneaky, sneaky..
Henry: He won’t
notice me two yards away from him!
Felix: Are you
serious? I can see your flannel from here~!
Felix: I hope if
he grows up, he realizes what an idiot he was…
Henry: He doesn’t
suspect a thing! Tee hee hee!
No comments:
Post a Comment