Henry: *Throws arm
out* STOOOOP!
Obviously Pan: *Is
slammed in the midsection by Henry’s arm* OMPH!
Henry: Well,
we’re going to have to jump.
Obvious Pan:
What?
Henry: Well, I’m
not going to be with the Lost Boys. They range from eerie to just downright
unsettling.
Obviously Pan: But
I thought you were evil and evil needs minions!
Henry: I don’t
employ help that I don’t know and is creepier than me. I choose to rule my
subjects with fear, not making some loyal to me.
Henry: Unlike
SOME people I know!
Obviously Pan: I’m
NOT Pan!
Henry: Well, I
give up; hitching a ride from a fairy isn’t going to happen.
Henry: Well, I don‘t
want to be taken alive, so here we go!
Obviously Pan: I
hate this! I hate this!
Henry: *Accidentally
crushes the vial containing Pixie Dust in his hand* CRAP!
Obviously Pan: This
is unbelievable!
Henry: How do we
stop?!
Obviously Pan: I’m not sure I want to tell you!
Obviously Pan: I’m not sure I want to tell you!
Regina: What a
moron!
Snow: Like you’re
one to talk!
Charming: ….Mermaids
can’t like…jump up and rip my face off, can they?
Charming: I’ll
save her!
Hook: Yeah! You
do that! I’ll just…wait here! Not because I’m worried about meeting my dating
pool again, but because I don’t want to get my leather anymore dirty, it’s
shrinking.
Charming: Okay! I
think I’m about re-
Hook: *Shoves*
Charming: AHHHH!
Snow: Can’t you
at least give us a light Regina?!
Charming: *Applies
Full Nelson of Life Saving*
Regina: *Is annoyed* Aww!
Emma lived?!
Hook: Charming
lived. Darn.
Snow: Are you
guys pulling?!
Regina: Yes! *Is barely trying*
Hook: *Isn’t even
making an effort*
Charming: I
always…wanted to be the one to haul you out of the water when you dived in and
knocked yourself out…*Sniffles*
Family bonding!
Charming: Geez,
she wears a ton. I was wondering where all my burritos have been going!
Charming: Does
anyone know chest compressions?
Hook: With this
hook?
Regina: I don’t
want to get in good with you guys THAT Much!
Emma: Rumpelstiltskin
is that you?!
Charming: Nope!
Way better!
Emma: None of you
applied mouth to mouth, did you?
Rumpelstiltskin: Well,
that’s the most bare rock I’ve found all throughout this island.
Rumpelstiltskin: *Makes
sure he looks impeccable*
Rumpelstiltskin: *Does
some squats*
Rumpelstiltskin: *Moves
around until he finds a comfortable position*
Rumpelstiltskin: I’m
waiting!
Felix: Hey
Rumpelstiltskin, sorry I’m late, I was being the welcoming committee for a
couple of dweebs over on the other side of the –
Felix: *Accidently
slips down the hill but regains his footing at the bottom*
Felix: - Island.
Rumpelstiltskin: Well,
whoopty doo, you put them ahead of greeting me. *Is hurt*
Felix: Hey, I had
to fight the other Lost Boys to the death for this job, okay! I take my job
seriously here in Felixland! We don’t play favorites!
Rumpelstiltskin: We’re
in Neverland!
Felix: I’m
certain that’s what I said!
Felix: *Wonders if
Pan would get miffed if he smacked Rumpel with his club*
Felix: Well, you
should know that Pan told me to tell you that ‘Henry is his, he called dibs,
and no tag backs.’
Felix: He also
added in a couple of ‘neener neeners’ but I’m not sure that would be as
effective coming from me.
Rumpelstiltskin: That
sounds like him.
Felix: We also
imitated your giggles and arm flails like crazy.
Rumpelstiltskin: *Crossed
a line*
Felix: All in
all, it was a good time. Pan says you can live if you don’t come after the
ankle biter. He even gave you a nice offer in Upper East Side Neverland. We
could go fishing.
Rumpelstiltskin: I
know the real estate is bad there!
Rumpelstiltskin: Maybe
I’ll beat you with that club!
Felix: It’s as
big as you are!
Rumpelstiltskin: Big
surprises come in small packages!
Felix: *Did NOT want
to imagine that*
Felix: *Reads Peter’s
message from his hand* Oh hey! He said something else!
Rumpelstiltskin: What?!
I have important meandering around to do!
Rumpelstiltskin: What?!
No! No!
Felix: I have NO
clue what that’s about. Pan just said to throw it there and take a photo of
your face *Takes photo*
Rumpelstiltskin: My
dad told me this was one of a kind!
Felix: Oh god,
I’m on an island full of others who kidnap kids and people with DADDY ISSUES?!
Now what does this remind me of?!
Rumpelstiltskin: Can
I be Ben Linus?
Felix: Sorry, Pan
said you have to be Jack.
Rumpelstiltskin: *Whole
world is wrecked*
Felix: Well, I’m
off. I’m sure other people need to be greeted.
Rumpelstiltskin: I
could use an Emma honeymoon hug right about now!
Baelfire: Hold
up…is that…Mjolnir above me?!
Baelfire: And Wonder
Woman’s Lasso?
Robin Hood: Hey,
that looks like the wand that very possibly got Maid Marion killed!
Mulan: Ah,
memories.
Baelfire: Well,
this thing looks like it COULD be a communication device, I guess.
*Is really
disappointed that he can’t take Mjolnir or the lasso without raising suspicion*
Baelfire: Gross,
gross, spider webs, gross!
Robin Hood: I
feel his pain. Once there was a spider in the bathroom of my hut…burned down
half of Sherwood Forest to kill it….and I’m still not certain that thing is
dead…
Baelfire: Geez
you guys, you got a towel I can clean my hands off with for eternity?
Mulan: Look, we
don’t have time! Just think the thoughts you think about when you think about
Emma.
Baelfire: I’m not
sure I can do that with people I don’t know in the room because things will get
raised…
Mulan: What?
Baelfire: Feelings!
Feelings!
Mulan: Hey!
What’s that?
Baelfire: It’s
got a mind of its own! I swear!
Baelfire: Oh! The
crystal ball is working!
Baelfire: Oh god!
Emma’s in Neverland! I recognize that bush she’s standing in front of!
Charming: Well
that was the most awkward boat ride I’ve ever been a part of.
Hook: How come I
had to row with Charming?
Emma: It’s called
TEAMWORK!
Regina: Hey guys,
I can use magic!
Emma: Yeah, you
said that as we were on the ship too and look what happened.
Hook: She’s
sinking!
Regina: Well,
maybe if you jumped in a lot faster than the boat wouldn’t have taken damage!
Emma: Do not test
me. I’m soaking wet in my only pair of clothes and I am NOT in the mood for any
of you right now!
Hook: That’s just
like what Milah used to say!
Emma: And you all
nearly got us killed! From now on, I vote me as the leader because I’m supposed
to be the protagonist of this story. It’s supposed to be about MY journey
mostly!
Regina: *Is
struggling not to punch Emma*
Emma: I’m really
good at finding people, so we’re going to find Henry. And if we have to, we’ll
track the wails of the terrified Lost Boys that he torments!
Hook: I so want
to do inappropriate things to you, right now.
Emma: Oh for
heaven’s sake! Baelfire died less than 12 hours ago!
Charming: Baelfire
DIED?!
Snow: Yes
Charming.
Charming: Then
why was he on the press release?!
Emma: The best
way to find Henry is to be who we are!
Charming: Whoa! You
DO remember that ‘who we are’ includes two villains that have tried killing us
just the other day, right? And now you’re enabling their evil side?
Emma: Okay, I
admit that that sounded a lot better in my head but it’s totally okay that you
attack the villains without feeling remorse for anything just as long as the
target isn’t on the good guys.
Regina: SWEET!
Emma: And no more
flip flopping!
Regina: Aww
Emma: Now I’m
going to BUILD MY SHELTER FOR TONIGHT!
Charming: I’m
pretty sure it’s four in the afternoon…
Regina: You go
after them.
Hook: No, you.
Regina: I don’t
want to be behind Snow
Hook: FINE!
Regina: *Did it on
purpose to check Hook out* I lumping hate all of you.
Henry: Hey! That
blonde lump looks like my mom!
Obviously Pan: Oh
er- um….that’s just Felix. He’s trying out some extensions.
Obviously Pan: Park
there!
Henry: But we can
fly up to the 2nd star to the right portal, right?
Obviously Pan: *Didn’t
think about that when he thought up this test*…..no….
*Crashes*
Obviously Pan: Still
need to work on that landing.
Henry: I’ve
broken every bone in my body!
Henry: Oh wait,
no, I just landed on my keys.
*Is awkward*
Obviously Pan: I have a confession.I
AM Pan!
Henry: ….
Obviously Pan: ….
Henry: Oh! You
want me to feign surprise!
Henry: *Gassspppp*
Pan: I brought
you here because I need your heart.
Pan: You have a
very special heart Henry; I’ve been checking it out.
Henry: And it
belongs to Grace Hatter.
Pan: I’m going to
use your magic to do vague evil things!
Henry: Just for
the record, my heart has to be INSIDE my body, right?
Pan: I don’t
know! It’s really unclear as of this moment!
Henry: You’re not
giving me a lot of confidence here, Pan.
Pan: That’s a
nice scarf by the way; I’ve been checking it out too.
Henry: Yeah, I’m
keeping all my clothes.
Pan: I’m getting
them whether you like it or not!
Pan: And knock on
wood, it’ll somehow fit me!
Pan: *Knocks on wood*
Pan: Chances are,
you won’t need them anymore when I’m done possibly mutilating you. !
Pan: It’s not your color anyway.
Pan: Hey
everyone! Get your butts out here to meet our new victim!
Henry: Victim? I
prefer Dictator…
Henry: I’m not
sure I Like these “Lord of the Flies connotations here.
Pan: Let’s play-
Henry: *Is horrified*
WHAT?!
Pan: -hopscotch!
I love that game!
The End
Mulan is awesome and Henry is too. Still scared about how predatory Pan can get.
ReplyDeleteAwesome as always. Thanks for all the laughs.
ReplyDelete