*Subtlety!*
Emma: Thanks
guys! Where do you think I’m going?!
Emma: Well, this
doesn’t seem to be so bad. I mean with the epidural and all.
Nurse: What
epidural?
Emma: Oh crap!
*Lights are
flickering*
Emma: *Is a bit
worried* Oh um….guys? Should you get those fluctuations looked at? Because
I’m…a bit worried. I mean, I know they happened during sex with Neal, but I
think I might have a poltergeist watching me….
Doctor: Ah,
you’re the cleanest baby I know
Not Yet Henry: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Emma: What was
that?
Not Yet Henry: I
mean…wah wah goo gah goo gah.
Emma: *Is a bit
freaked out* I can’t look at him! He’ll hypnotize me with his evil
eyes.
Doctor: Your evil
overlord son requests to be held now.
Emma: That’s a
whole lotta ‘nope’ there, doc. I gotta do my best to get him out in the world
so I can get on a hit show about fairy tales.
Doctor:
Oh…well…if it makes you feel better, he’s sort of goofy looking anyway.
Emma: Just like
his FATHER!
Emma: Oh, hope he
doesn’t get put into a house that abuses him and he comes looking for me for
vengeance…that’ll be awkward…
Regina: WOULD IT
HAVE KILLED YOU TO INSTALL SEAT BELTS?
Snowing: OMG!
Rumpelstiltskin: OMG!
Regina: OMG!
Emma: OMG!
Hook: Still
single, shipmates!
Group: *Are
screaming in terror*
Group: *Are all
sprawled out on the floor*
Hook: *Pulls self
up* That wasn’t my doing!
Rumpelstiltskin: *Aged
20 years because of Hook’s driving*
Emma: *Is
catatonic because of Hook’s driving*
Hook: All of you
shut up! I got us to where we needed to go!
Emma: Huh. It’s
not so bad.
Henry: *Splatted on
the sand*
Greg: Hey buddy!
*Plops arm around him* You’re not trying to escape your captors, are you?
Henry: Nooooooo
Greg: Good,
because if you do, I’ll scowl at you a lot and-
Henry: *Runs
away*
Greg: Hey, I
wasn’t READY!
Tamara: You hear
that? The screams of the tormented?
Tamara: Told you
we went to the right place.
Henry: I sense a
presence here more evil than me. That presence WILL end.
Greg: Weirdo.
This land is full of non-magic kittens and rainbows and they all hate magic as
much as we do.
Henry: I think
I’m ready to go home now.
Tamara: Camping
is fun! You just have to give it a chance before you decide you hate it. We
just GOT here for heaven’s sake.
Greg: *Just dawned
on him* Wait a minute, WHAT screams of the tormented?
Tamara: The
screams that are allllll around us!
Greg: Gun! Now!
Greg: Or…or the
walkie…that’s good too….
Greg: Now kid,
let’s get a campfire going ….
Greg: You know,
back in the old days, they used dung. Luckily, we’re surrounded by jungle and
won’t have to go that far.
Henry: That’s
okay. I’m sure your bodies will burn the brightest once my stepdad grandpa gets
ahold of you.
Greg: Wait, crap,
he IS the Dark One isn’t he?
Tamara: Please tell
me you put in batteries!
Greg: What
batteries?! I thought you did that!
Greg: Uh…who gave
these to us?
Tamara: And why
didn’t we test it to make sure it worked?!
Greg: YOU?!
Henry: *Didn’t do
it but is taking credit for it anyway* Yeah, that’s what happens when you don’t
bolt your door at night…
Greg: FROWN!
Regina: Are we
there yet?
Hook: We’ll get
there when we get there.
Regina: How about
now?
Hook: My ribs hurt from where you shoved me off a cliff the other day, so unless you want to swim your way to Neverland….
Hook: My ribs hurt from where you shoved me off a cliff the other day, so unless you want to swim your way to Neverland….
Regina: I smell mother nature. And I don’t like it.
Hook: Why? You
shove her off a cliff too?
Regina: *Glares*
Hook: I could
have died!
Hook: Hey, are
you wearing something totally different than what you wore in the finale?
Regina: I
might’ve found something down below to change into…
Hook: Wait….
Hook: MILAH’S
CLOTHES?!
Regina: Oh, it’s
not like SHE needs them anymore!
Regina: *Is smug*
Hook: *Sniffles*
Regina: Oh NOW
what?!
Hook: Nothing!
Nothing!
Hook: Earlier I
caught Rumpelstiltskin jumping on my bed and now THIS!
Regina: Also, do
you think villains get a happy ending?
Hook: Random! And
no! We’re VILLAINS!
Emma: Can’t
believe Hook spilled rum on my good jacket. I’m convinced he did it on purpose.
Charming: Yeah,
the body dive on top of you sort of gave it away.
Snow: Is THAT
what you’re wearing?
Charming: Just
say the word Emma; I’ll punch him in the face!
Snow: So Emma,
about that whole ‘talking you into saving Regina and eventually getting Henry
snatched’ thing.
Charming: *Is
ignoring Snow* What’s your relationship with Hook?
Snow: WHAT?!
Charming: Nothing!
Nothing!
Emma: I’m
ignoring you and hoping you go away.
Snow: Awwww Emma,
I NEVER leave. I’ll stay forever and ever and ever…
Emma: Not a good
time for your Mary Momgret side to show up! GOSH!
Snow: Don’t get
that attitude with me, young lady.
Emma: *Is
imitating* Don’t get that attitude with ME young lady!
Emma: *Is
imitating* I only keep wanting to talk about our feelings even though my
emotionally damaged daughter doesn’t want to and keeps running laps around this
boat to get away from you in hopes that you’ll get the hint!
Snow: I thought
you just wanted to jog!
Emma: *Is
exasperated*
Emma: Does it
LOOK like I’m in the mood for a jog?!
Snow: Guess not….
Charming: Oh
sweet, I think I see a dolphin!
Snow: I just
wanted you to know that if you’re up for family hugs, I am here for you.
Snow: And what do
you say after I offer family hugs?
Charming: You say
‘Oh Thank God, because that’s better than honeymoon hugging Rumpelstiltskin or
Hook because I know what honeymoon hugs really are!”
Emma: I’d rather honeymoon hug GRUMPY than deal with either one of
your and your convoluted speeches that make no sense! I have had a LONG DAY!
Emma: I want
coffee. I want my red jacket. I want my yellow bug.
Emma: I want my
friggin' bouncy curls back but I can’t have those anymore can I, because Greg
and Tamara stole Regina’s plan, took Henry, and now we have to go to a place
that made both Hook and Rumpelstiltskin curl up in a fetal position and cry
together for the last hour to get him back!
Emma: *Breathes*
Emma: And
granted, that last part was funny,
Emma: BUT I NEED
MY SPACE, OKAY?!
Snow: I don’t
think I LIKE this new attitude.
Rumpelstiltskin: I
DO! Hiiiii Emma!
Emma: *Is eager What are you wearing?! Not that I care….
Hook: MY CLOTHES!
Regina: *Is a
little aroused* Oh, if I was centuries older…
Rumpelstiltskin: Your
mom got here first.
Emma: EWWWWWWW!
Rumpelstiltskin: So
I was trying to listen to my iPod but your yammering’s kept distracting me, so
I’m going to leave because it just occurred to me that you have NO idea what
you’re doing.
Rumpelstiltskin: I’m
going to get Henry back and…um…leave you guys in the process which might
effectively orphan him since you guys only have Hook to guide you and he spent
most of last season unconscious and might have brain damage.
Emma: HA!
‘might’.
Rumpelstiltskin: I
must do what you should not have to since your record of defeating villains permanently
has been disappointing so far! *Departing eye sex*
Emma: *Angry eye
sex*
Rumpelstiltskin: Ooo!
I knew you liked me!
Charming: What’s
going on over there?!
Rumpelstiltskin: Mmm!
Girl, I’ll be back with our son and we’ll pick up where we left off at the end
of season 1 before I die.
Emma: Only if you
bring the outfit.
Rumpelstiltskin: If
I’d known that this was going to work last year, I’d have done it faster.
Emma: Is that
what you tell all the girls?
Rumpelstiltskin: Ooooo!
Sassy Emma is back and I can’t wait for the mourning period to be done so we
can get back to our epic romance! I don’t mind us both mourning Bae together…
Charming: I DO!
Rumpelstiltskin: I
leave you my cane to remember me by! Rumpel out!
Emma: I’m…already
sort of missing him.
Charming: WHAT?!
Tamara: This is a
HORRIBLE camp out; I don’t feel relaxed at all.
Greg: Omigod, you
guys! I got a flame! I got a flame!
Henry: Only took
seven hours.
Greg: FROWN!
Tamara: Sweetie,
I’m starting to think that this whole ‘blindly trust people we don’t know’ was
a bad idea.
Greg: Nonsense!
So what if we’re out in the jungle with no communication with anyone? What’s
the worst that could happen?
Tamara: Oh good,
the tormented are finally here. Now maybe they’ll take us to some decent
shelter.
Felix: I said
meet in the second clearing to the right of the 7th banana tree! Not
the fifth! We’ve spent hours looking for you!
Felix: Welcome to
Felix Land!
Greg: I thought
we were in Neverland.
Felix: Yeah….that’s
what I said…
Greg: ?
Tamara:So, no
posh helicopter then, huh?
Felix: Don’t ask
where Pan got the funding together to provide you guys on your merry little
adventures.
Greg: Wait a minute;
did you lure us to a magic inhabited jungle to kill us?
Felix: Noooooo
Felix: Okay,
maybe a little….
Greg: You can’t
do this! I’m the star of the show!
Felix: So you
were told.
Greg: *Day is
ruined*
Felix: So about
you handing over that kid and staying alive for a couple of more minutes….
Tamara: No! Sure
we’re outnumbered but I think we can take you all out!
Felix: That’s
what all the dead people say!
Greg: Frown
infinity!
Tamara: You show
him, baby!
Henry: Circulation
went out of my hands about three hours ago…
Felix: If I look
down then you won’t see the shadow sneaking up behind you.
Greg: What
shadow?
Greg: OMIGOD,
THAT SMARTS!
*Is dead*
Felix: Rrriipppp
Tamara: Nice
knowing you, Henry!
Tamara: *Trips
thanks to an arrow in her shoulder*
Felix: Darn. I
was going to ask her out…
Henry: *Is
running* The use of my hands would’ve been GREAT, Tamara!
Henry: *Trips*
Curse my Charming family genes!
Lost Boy: BOO!
Henry: YOU”LL
NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
Henry: *Is yanked
into a hiding spot* Oh…well okay then.
Henry: Hey Peter
Pan.
Obviously Peter Pan: I’m
not Peter Pan!
Henry: Sure
you’re not, what’s up?
Obviously Peter Pan: I
will save us!
Henry: Or lead me
right where you want me to go.
Obviously Peter Pan: *Pinches
cheeks* Ooo, so cute! Come on, let’s hide!
Henry: Eh, why
not? I got no other way to spend my evening.
It's back!!
ReplyDelete*hug infinity*
Yay I need some laughs after the winter finale
ReplyDelete"Are we there yet? We'll get there when we get there!" -- Incredibles for the win!
ReplyDeleteAlso, loved how you saw Tamara. Just cuz they're expendable and pointless doesn't mean they can't have personalities.
How I missed these !
ReplyDelete