Henry: I need my
morning coffee like five minutes ago
Pan: Well maybe
if you’re a good little arrow grabber then we’ll be able to all sit down and
chat over a nice cup of joe.
Henry: No one
says that anymore, we say ‘latte’
Pan: I’m not sure
I asked.
Henry: Do you
mind NOT aiming that thing so close to my chest, please?
Henry: Look, at
LEAST let me shoot Felix, okay?
Felix: ?
Henry: Oh geez, I
didn’t realize that would carry as loud as it did.
Pan: Well, I usually
reserve people trying to shoot Felix for special occasions, but I guess the
arrival of the truest believer works.
Felix: *Wears that
honor proudly*
Henry: So many
targets, so little ammo.
Lost Boys: Shoot!
Shoot! Shoot!
Felix: *Feelings
are hurt* Oh come on, guys! I thought we were pals!
Pan: Feeeeel your
hatred! Trust the Dark Sid- I mean, shoot the arrow, Henry.
Felix: My mother
always said I had a flat noggin.
Lost Boys: Shoot!
Shoot!
Felix: Oh,
whatever! Shoot me! Shoot me!
Henry: This
crossbow is as big as I am!
*Not the fact that
you should be making to a minor about to shoot you.*
Pan: Felix! Don’t
do that moving back and forth thing that you do when you’re the duck at the
shooting game during Neverland Carnival!
Henry: Eh, I’ll
need a second in command and I don’t feel like training one anymore. I’ll shoot
someone else instead.
*Not the face that
you should be making to a minor at any time*
Henry: Oh
geez…my…cold blooded murder plan didn’t quite work out.
Pan: That…was…amazing!
Henry: Got to try
harder I guess…
.
Regina: Well, the
idea of me finding a possible second true love or soul mate is a pretty good
idea, I’m glad I thought of it.
Tinker Bell: What?!
Regina: I mean
‘you’ thought of it.
Tinker Bell: I
WILL turn you into a goon. *Is slapped
with a fairy wing*
Regina: AUGH!
That hurt!
*What exactly is this
place?*
Tinker Bell: BLLLLUEEEE!
Hey BLUE!
Blue Fairy: I am
getting my SPA treatment! What do you want?
Tinker Bell: Oh,
is that face before or after the process is done?
Tinker Bell: So…I
met this girl and she’s Regina and she needs our help to leave her husband and
find someone else!
Blue Fairy: You
DO realize that she’s Rumpelstiltskin’s student and if he finds out about what
you’re doing, he’ll hunt you down, pick your wings off, and hold a magnifying
glass up to you under the sun, right?
Tinker Bell: Oh I
didn’t…we can’t kidnap her or something?
Blue Fairy: No we
can’t KIDNAP her! Rumpelstiltskin will hunt us all down and blow us up!
Tinker Bell: Well,
he’s doing that anyway…what’s a little more antagonization?
Blue Fairy: You
can’t have any dust. I’m pretty sure I can guess how this is going to go!
Tinker Bell: Please?
Please? Please? Please? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?
Blue Fairy: Oops,
due for my mud bath treatment! Can’t hear you!
Tinker Bell: But
if we find her a second chance, then she won’t go super nuts!
Blue Fairy: Second
chance? Have you been sniffing some of that fairy dust?
Blue Fairy: You
can try to help Regina, but when your ashes are covering her and someone has to
sweep it up, IT WON’T BE ME!
Blue Fairy: *Slams
petal shut*
Tinker Bell: Guess
the only other viable solution is thievery!
Robin Hood: You want to sell my kid out to the shadow?
Baelfire: No, its
super fine, cause we’re going to beat up the shadow which actually has a
corporeal form. I haven’t seen Mulan fail yet!
Robin Hood: Have
you ever even SEEN her fight?
Baelfire: Look,
this is about the only other way I know to get to my kid okay? All the
supermarkets around here are out of magical beans and I have a feeling that I’m
not in the mood to play “Indiana Jones Hunts for Portals”
Robin Hood: Are
there even younger Lost Kids in Neverland?
Baelfire: How
should I know? I haven’t been there in awhile!
Baelfire: Look,
we’re bros right? Now I’m not going to force you to use your kid but it would be
nice. That’s all I’m saying.
Robin Hood: I’m really not feeling this whole ‘send my kid
to the Lord of the Flies’ island.
*Sniffles*
Robin Hood: Oh,
not the puppy look!
Robin Hood: Fine,
I automatically trust you with the wellbeing of my four year old.
Baelfire: Yeeesssssss!
Robin Hood: Huh.
Guess me and Regina aren’t so different in our parenting skills after all.
Baelfire: Sweet!
I’ll go find Mulan, won’t be hard, she’s singing "All by Myself” to a picture of
animated Shang AND a photo of Aurora and Philip
Hook: I can’t
believe all the berries you picked last episode were poisoned.
Emma: It’s a
mistake that anyone could make!
Regina: Oh! What
did I step in?
Hook: *Is
checking out*
Hook: Hey! Take
off your shirt!
Charming: What?!
Hook: Quick, take
it off while the women aren’t looking.
Charming: *Is looking
around*
Hook: How is it
that you have a better set of abs than me when I work out all day and you eat
like you have a bottomless pit?
Charming: What
about my wound?
Hook: Oh just put
some duct tape and penicillin on it, it’ll be fine.
Charming: Really?
Hook: Nope! I
lied! You’re Boot Hill bait!
Charming: *Is
furious*
Charming: What’s
going to happen?
Hook: Well,
you’ll write five bestselling novels and die before the cliffhanger is
resolved. All the while having hallucinations and growing sweatier and sweatier
and then you’ll just keel over and throw the whole rescue mission off.
Charming: Don’t
tell them!
Hook: Seriously?
Regina: Hey, can
we stop for a break? I’m not wearing the right shoes for this!
Emma: You’re
never wearing the right shoes for anything!
Regina: I don’t
care! I’m resting and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!
Emma: Fine! See
ya, Regina!
Regina: I’ll just
stay here in the woods…all by myself with psychotic Lost Boys to watch me.
Anything could happen, I might accidently spill that we’re headed to a certain
fairy’s cabin once I go mad and start talking to sports balls.
Emma: Okay
seriously, what did you do to piss her off?
Regina: Who says
I did anything to piss her off?
Regina: I put my
hands on my hips in defense of that, madam!
Regina: *Innocent
whistling*
Emma: Because
everyone we run into is always pissed off at you or Rumpelstiltskin and since
he’s not here, I had to guess.
Regina: Well…I
may have had something to do with her life getting ruined.
Emma: Well add
her to the list. How come you’re not this terrified of meeting anyone else
whose life you ruined? Because she won’t help us?
Regina: No! Have
you ever been slapped by a fairy wing? It hurts!
*Is remembering*
Emma: So…you want
us to just leave you here?
Regina: Well, I
don’t WANT it, but –
Emma: See ya,
Regina!
Regina: Hm…that
reverse psychology class swindled me
Regina: Dear
diary, I made Snow cry over the phone like four times today
Tinker Bell: You’re
starting to get a little slow there, Regina.
Regina: ZOMG,
HIIIIIII!
Tinker Bell: So I
found your second chance and I may or may not have stolen and disobeyed orders
over. Let’s just say that my life will be ruined if you chicken out.
Regina: Hm…ruining
lives does seem a little fun.
Regina: I’m not
sure I want to be led to the balcony that I nearly fell to my death on one,
Tink.
Tinker Bell: Oh,
get over it, what’s a few near death experiences among friends.
Regina: Hey, it’s
a bit nippy out here; can I change into a pair of pants first?
Tinker Bell: You
don’t have pants, that’s the only dress you seem to have brought with you.
Tinker Bell: Here
some dust for you!
Regina: *Goes into an
allergic reaction*
Tinker Bell: Oh
my….
Regina: Okay I’m good;
I just needed an inhaler…
Regina: Wait! I
can’t maneuver! I can’t maneuver! *Flops
upside down*
Regina: I don’t
need love, can’t I Just fly instead?
Tinker Bell: Don’t
be an idiot Regina, who would give up human interaction, love, and possibly
naughty things just to fly around all day.
Tinker Bell: Your
true love is over there somewhere!
Regina; Why couldn’t the Charmings just ask the fairies to
do this every time they get separated?
Tinker Bell: Because
you’re a special snowflake
Regina: Sweet!
Tinker Bell: Let’s
go!
Regina: *Is flailing
in place* How do I go?!
Tinker Bell: Oh!
This tavern is so YOU!
Regina: Are we…in
the bad side of town?
Tinker Bell: *Is
quiet* Tiptoe! So he doesn’t hear us !
Tinker Bell: He’s
right there! With all the green goo around him!
Regina: Why can’t
you fairies just do this sort of thing all the time?
Robin Hood: WHY
do I feel tingly?
Tinker Bell: That’s
SO him.
Regina: Huh. He
looks a lot different than what I was led to believe.
Tinker Bell: Check
out that killer tat! He’s a rebel! I’ll bet he has a motorcycle or a mustang or
something.
Regina: Why can’t
my true love be a bit more…rich?
Tinker Bell: Oh
bollocks, it’ll work!
Regina: I’m not
sure it will. How does a bunch of dust carved from rock diamonds decide all
this?
Regina: Oh
well…he does look like he can hold his liquor just like how did used to…
Regina: Hey Tink,
be my wing fairy.
Tinker Bell: Nope!
Because every time I do this, most guys end up falling for me!
Regina: Oh.
Yeah…th-that wouldn’t work.
Regina: Okay
Regina…run out on a king…I’m sure that’ll end well and not utterly destroy a 12
year old who loves you like a mother…
Regina: THE QUEEN
IS-
Regina: Hey,
that’s not Tom Ellis
Regina: Did I run
all the way home?
*Is jumping at every
little sound*
Regina: Peasants!
How was splitting up a good idea!
Regina: *Is waiting*
Hook! You can come out now! We’re totally alone!
Regina: Figures.
He’s probably off making eyes at anything that moves to make me jealous, that’s
so like him.
Tinker Bell: And
just WHAT are you doing with Hook?!
Regina: Oh
hey…you’ve been here this whole time?! *Is
awkward*
Tinker Bell: Yeah,
and I’ve heard every horrible thing you’ve said about me too.
Regina: Oh
yeah…about that…
Regina: Is that
what you’re wearing these days? Blue has more sense than you!
Tinker Bell: You
ruined my life!
Regina: WHY does
everyone keep saying that?
Tinker Bell: Eat
breath spray!
Regina: I don’t
wanna inha-
*faints*
Tinker Bell: Ha
ha! Reven- oh wait, I gotta cart this dead weight…
All by Myself... Oh my god, this is so great !
ReplyDeleteAlso, I love season 3 Felix.
ReplyDeleteI mean season 3 and Felix. He is like a new breakout character, though he isn't as great as Mr. Gold.
ReplyDelete