Snow: Well,
Regina’s broke her word before and will probably break it in the future but I
see no reason not to trust that she’s totally telling the truth now.
Charming: Snow!
She was going to kill me after you took that apple.
Grumpy: Hm….I
like where Regina was going with that…
Charming: I don’t
think you mean that Grumpy!
Grumpy: Oh crap,
did I say that out loud?
Snow: If only Red
was here. She’d know what to do.
Charming: But “I”
know what to do! Listen to me!
Snow: Shush
Charming. I’m sure Regina totally won’t come after the ones I love regardless
of what happens.
Grumpy: Well, I’m
going to keep the rebellion up, anyway. Hope you guys don’t mind but I always
wanted to be king.
*Did not volunteer to
keep the rebellion up.*
Charming: Oh God!
Please Snow! Reconsider!
Snow: Nope! Minds
made up! I sense a deer behind me! Someone kill it quickly! I’m hungry!
Charming: Snooow,
I really want to be king.
Snow: Well I
don’t want to be queen. Seriously, you want to know how many royals volunteered
to let me into their kingdom? NONE! And then you want to invite them all to our
wedding and make alliances with them? And pretend I like their kids?
Charming: I don’t
care! Leather pants far more leather than these come with the deal! And I can order
deaths and stuff! First person on my list? Rumpelstiltskin!
Snow: Don’t you
dare! He and I used to know each other!
Charming: You
used to what?!
Snow: *Realizes
Charming doesn’t know yet* Nothing! Nothing!
Snow: I’m going
to go beat up that deer now!
Charming: Move
guys! I want to beat up some deer too!
Grumpy: Look
Simba, we know you just can’t wait, but you’re not king yet and if you don’t
stop harassing Snow then well…you won’t like it when you fall asleep.
Charming: Like
this?
Grumpy: Don’t
push me Charming. That river is only a few feet away.
Doc: Grrr!
Charming: *Is
genuinely terrified of Doc*
Charming: You
can’t tell me what choice to make!
Grumpy: There’s
seven of us and one of you and we have pickaxes that break through anything. I
think no matter what you oppose us in, we’re going to win.
Charming: You
can’t treat me like this! I’m her fiancé!
Charming: Right?
Grumpy: As long
as we allow it.
*Vows to never sleep
after him and Snow have a fight*
Grumpy: Well
boys! Time for the cookout. Charming’s the cleanup man!
Dwarves: Hooray!
Charming: This
must be why I’m so whipped.
Rumpelstiltskin: Jiminy’s
here! And he brought pizza! Oh wait, it’s only you.
Charming: I need
bromance advice
Charming: …and even
though you’re not in the realm of anything near that, you’ll still have to do!
Charming: What do
you know…about convincing women to do what you want to do?
Rumpelstiltskin: *Hates
him* Why don’t you people ever knock?
Rumpelstiltskin: Dear
old dad always did have cheap tastes in toys.
Rumpelstiltskin: I
could turn it into kindling but…
Rumpelstiltskin:
Eh, whatever *Tosses aside*
Rumpelstiltskin: Lost
Boys aren’t going to mutilate themselves, I guess.
Rumpelstiltskin: Hey!
If anyone can hear me, tell Pan I want my favorite breakfast here when I wake
up! I’d do it myself but I never make the yolk runny.
*Running*
Rumpelstiltskin: I
didn’t mean REALLY!
*Football tackles*
Fake!Belle: Hey
Rumpel!
Rumpelstiltskin: Belle?!
You work for Pan?!
Fake!Belle: Err…..sort
of?
Rumpelstiltskin: *Gasp*
Rumpelstiltskin: You
tried to steal my stuff!
Fake!Belle: Why
not? Everyone else does.
Rumpelstiltskin: But
my dad gave me that!
Rumpelstiltskin: Um…fake
Belle, what are you doing?
Fake!Belle: I
wanna have your babies!
Rumpelstiltskin: Dear
God…if you are actually Pan in disguise….
Fake!Belle: Pucker
up, Rumpel! Someone’s gonna find this hot!
Rumpelstiltskin: Okay
I guess.
Rumpelstiltskin: Wow!
You smell like that tacky garlic that Pan always eats!
Rumpelstiltskin: Seriously!
If you’re somehow Pan and he’s related to me.
This is WEIRD! WEIRD! WEIRD!
Fake!Belle: No
man, it’s totally me! Look; *Ahem*
You’re a good man and stuff, Rumpel. I believe it or whatever. Also teacups.
Fake!Belle: Nailed
it.
Rumpelstiltskin: IDON’TBELIEVEYOU!
Fake!Belle: HOT!
Rumpelstiltskin: Right?
Our relationship is so healthy!
Rumpelstiltskin: I
mean; Belle wouldn’t like this!
Fake!Belle: Only
because we never took this THIS far!
Rumpelstiltskin:
Oh. It’s….true what they say about bookworms I guess…
Rumpelstiltskin: I
swear Charming, if you don’t know how to handle Snow’s moods now, then one day
you’ll find out she’s up and run off with a pirate who does.
Charming: I need
my fiancé to believe that she can kick butt and take names! Will you help me
with that?
Rumpelstiltskin: She
never had a problem with that when “I” was with her.
Charming: Hey!
What are you saying?!
Rumpelstiltskin: You
don’t know about your fiancé and me? Your brother would’ve picked up on that.
Rumpelstiltskin: He
picked up on a lot of things when I used to babysit him. Except for that one
time that guy stood behind him with that spear and….I ended up getting you out
of that dead.
Charming: You and
Snow were friends, right? Please tell me you were friends!
Rumpelstiltskin: Yes,
friends.
Rumpelstiltskin: With
certain benefits.
Charming: What,
like with what you have with Jiminy?
Rumpelstiltskin:
*Bursts out laughing* You tell Jiminy that! See his lil’ cricket face!
Charming: *Is
frustrated*
Charming: *Is
comparing who was the better backside in the mirror*
Charming: You
can’t spin until you give me relationship advice!
Rumpelstiltskin: You
MUST be joking!
Charming: You
have to help me build Snow’s confidence!
Rumpelstiltskin: Fine.
I’ll get her a better boyfriend.
Charming: *Feelings
are hurt* You’re not invited to the wedding.
Snow: I really
wish someone put up Regina’s face on that bag! Maybe I wouldn’t miss!
Charming: Oh!
Augh! Oh that’s cold! Winter water!
Snow: And I just
got splashed.
Charming: Snow!
Guess what I was up to! I’ll tell you! I beat up Rumpelstiltskin until he gave
me something that would help us defeat Regina.
Snow: What? An
army?
Charming: While
I’m still confused as to where we got one of those, this isn’t that episode!
Snow: Do you mind
Charming? I have a target to miss at!
*Is pouty*
Charming: Snow, I
wasn’t wearing the most comfortable riding pants. I have to go lie down soon.
Charming: So, can
we get this show on the road? Because the location of EXCALIBUR is like three
days away. I really wanted to sell its location- I mean, it’s really far away.
Charming: Also,
if you can shoot for crap, how did you live in the woods for so long?
Snow: This is
symbolic for my self-confidence!
Charming: Then
maybe if you’re missing so bad, you shouldn’t be shooting with eight other
people around.
Charming: We
could go riding instead!
Charming: Get
some take out and camp out under the stars…
Snow: My wrist
hurts. That deer totally did a number on it when we went hand-to-hand.
Snow: So, first
we hunt that deer….and then MAYBE Regina.
Charming: I wanna
go now!
Charming: We
could go dancing!
Emma: Okay, I
am…a dragon slayer, a snark addict, a caffeine addict…..
Hook: My future
girlfriend?
Regina: My
victim?
Snow: Oh! My
daughter!
Charming: The
sheriff!
Snow: Henry’s
mother!
Emma: Nope guys,
none of that’s working. Keep submitting your requests!
Emma: *Gulps* Mr.
Gold’s darling fiancé?
Regina: Why is
that not past tense?!
Emma: Curse breaking
ninja?
Charming: Charmette!
Emma: Leather
wearer?
Hook: When I had
to do this, I got what I wanted by saying ‘Hooker’. It was really embarrassing.
Regina: Gross, I
just got some sap on my jacket.
Charming: Try
‘daddy’s little girl’!
Emma: Based off
how many scenes?!
Regina: Try ‘bane
of my existence’!
Emma: OO! Good
one!
Emma: Erm…nope.
Charming: Well,
if no one’s going to dig into these Neverland Donuts, I guess I’m going to have
to while we think of more suggestions.
Regina: Don’t you
microwave the water for your tea? Try ‘uncivilized heathen’.
Emma: Hey! It’s
just an alternative to the method everyone else uses!
Regina: Your
alternative methods are why this world is in the shape it’s in!
Regina: Gimme!
Emma: MOM! Make
her give it back!
Snow: Give it
back Regina!
Regina: You
always take her side!
Emma: *Is chasing
Regina around the rock*
Hook: *Is enjoying
the show*
Charming: Hey!
Pan gave that to my baby love!
Emma: *Is
embarrassed*
Regina: I don’t
see her NAME on it!
Charming: Hook!
What do you think?
Hook: I’ll give
you my opinion after the catfight!
Regina: What does
Hook know about trusting Pan? He’s fallen on his head so many times that he has
several concussions.
Emma: This
probably isn’t a good idea Regina
Regina: Nonsense!
My ideas are always foolproof!
Regina: Now all
we have to do is follow it.
Hook: That’s not
magic carrying it away, Regina. That’s the wind!
Hook: Come back,
blank map! Come back! *makes grabby
hands*
Regina: Well
Emma, looks like I did your job.
Charming: We’re
all going to die…
Rumpelstiltskin: Fake
Belle, I don’t have time for this. I have important grandson rescuing things to
do to impress Emma.
Fake!Belle: You
don’t love Emma! Or else she would be here and not me!
Rumpelstiltskin: maybe I summoned you so that I could have
both!
Fake!Belle: You
rascal!
Rumpelstiltskin: I
am that!
Rumpelstiltskin: Fake
Belle, did you get us lost? I knew something was up when I wondered onto
Greenscreen Cliffs!
Rumpelstiltskin: I
mean, I said ‘lets turn left’ but you never listen when we’re driving!
Fake!Belle: Juuump!
Rumpelstiltskin: WHAT?!
Fake!Belle: - for
joy, because I’m here too!
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh
good, I thought you were trying to get rid of me. Do you know how fast the
ratings would drop if I died?
Fake!Belle: Then
maybe real me could actually get screen time.
Rumpelstiltskin:
*Sniffles* Belle, you could never replace me!
Fake!Belle: Let’s
see if the citizens say the same thing once I take over as landlord
Rumpelstiltskin: Wait,
what are you saying?
Fake!Belle: You
thought Regina was a tyrannical dictator? You ain't seen nothing yet.
Rumpelstiltskin: Belle!
You’re finally coming around!
Fake!Belle: Come
home and we can rule together!
Rumpelstiltskin: It’s
tempting but…Emma’s here, and you’re not, and no matter how many times I flap
my arms, I’m not flying up to that portal!
Fake!Belle: Fine!
Stay here and wallow in your daddy issues!
Rumpelstiltskin: Emma
will be there. It won’t be so bad…
Fake!Belle: *Is offended*
Rumpelstiltskin: We
eye!sexed on the boat. It was great.
Rumpelstiltskin:
Where are you going?!
Rumpelstiltskin: Eh,
maybe if the others were down there, I’d jump and land on Hook
but…unfortunately I am not that lucky…
Rumpelstiltskin: Now
that I think about it, this thing is really creepy…. I should keep it though.
Henry might like it-
Rumpelstiltskin: OH
CRAP!
Charming and Hook buddyship is coming through even here, LOL.
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