*Behind them,
business continues as usual*
Belle: EVERYTHING
IS GONE! MY BAY-BEE!
Baelfire: Should
I comfort her or…just….stand here trying to hold it together…
Regina: Fine!
I’ll get it! USELESS!
Snow: So…did
Killing Pan stop his magic or not?
Charming: I don’t
know. The rules about curses and caster mortality are rough…
Hook: Personally,
I never liked him….
Emma: I’ll never
hear the hair raising tilt of his Scottish “hiiiiiii Emma” again!
Baelfire: Could
you hug Belle? She won’t let go of my leg
Hook: Also my arm
is now frozen like this…I might need the Jaws of Life to get it able to bend
again…
Regina: This curse
is even slower than mine!
Grumpy: Hey guys!
Now that the sacrifice is over, the curse is coming!
Regina: How do we
all BREATHE with these plots?
Grumpy: How do I
breathe at all? I just ran like 30 miles!
Charming: Hey,
could you possibly save us, Regina?
Emma: Wait!
Rumple died?! *goes into hyperventilation’s*
Regina: So I can
rip up the scroll or something but it erases all of us from existence…which
means that I gotta give up Henry. And conveniently he has to go with you and
not you and Bae…
Emma: Rumple
died!
Baelfire: *Wonders if
he’ll EVER get more than just ‘Emma’s other love interest’ this season*
Regina: I’ll take
that to mean you’ve process what I said and are thinking accordingly….
Regina: Isn’t
constant family separation fun?!
Emma: Nooooo?
Regina: I’ll
still get to be queen, right?
Charming: Noooooo?
Regina: You’re
just taking everything away from me aren’t you?
Belle: I think
I’m okay guys….
Emma: Wait! We
can’t be together!?
Regina: For
fudge’s sake, Emma! Keep up!
Emma: HRMPLE!
Regina: It’ll be
like we never existed…even though we did exist and that’s how you got reunited
to Henry, so that might be some sort of paradox involved, which might result in
your head exploding and…I don’t know. I’m losing everything so I’m getting my
brain into self-pity mode.
Emma: EXPLODE?!
Regina: Relax!
You’ll go out into the world with just a bug and a kid and no money since your
paycheck is getting wiped out and no home! How happy for you!
Emma: That
doesn’t sound happy!
Emma: Henry
doesn’t even have RECORDS!
Regina: Emma,
DON’T think this out…
Regina: I’ve
never thought a day in my life and look what it all got me!
Emma: Losing
everything?
Regina: RUB IT IN
MY FACE WHY DON”T YOU?
Snow: Hey, even
though I wanted us to stay together no matter what…at least we’ll still be
family in separate worlds…
Emma: If Zelena
can just zoom witches to other worlds, why can’t I just do the same and go on
ahead of all of you?!
Snow: Because
FAMILY AND HOPE! That’s why!
Emma: This just
feels really stupid…
Regina: You never
like my plans.
Hook: Causetheysuck.
Emma: Can’t you
just…put us in Pandora’s Box and take us with you?
Emma: I’m so glad
we called a truce on our rivalry for the Dark One of whom I was NEVER attracted
to!
Hook: I can’t
believe we all fit in the bug to go out here…
Charming: That
curse is just…meandering along…
Regina: Well
Henry, guess you were wrong about me.
Henry: About
what? If you think I’m going to be sorry because I left to find Emma and go
save my loved ones that you enslaved and tried to kill for the first two
seasons, I won’t be. You were nuts and that whole ‘hole in your heart’ thing
kept you from being able to love, so I’m not going to go into some spiel that I
had love all along…
Regina: Oh Henry,
I’m sorry too!
Henry: ‘Too’
would imply that I did something wrong!
Regina: *Self Pity
mode* I’m a villain!
Henry: Yes you
are.
Regina: Darn,
that reverse psychology never works….
Emma: So…sorry
you can’t come with.
Baelfire: It’s
okay. I didn’t want to be anything more than someone off to the sides anyway….
Henry: I made
Regina cry!
Baelfire: *Pats*
Emma: So if you
guys go back and Storybrooke will be as if it never existed, do you guys have
your memories here too?
Baelfire: I don’t
even know, but I’m so moving in to dad’s house…I always wanted a castle….
Hook: I like you
too!
Emma: That’s
nice.
Hook: Acknowledgment!
Regina: Always
make sure Henry has extra tissues all year around, his nose is like Niagara…and
make sure he wears clean underwear, and no hot dogs, no candy, no freedom of
any kind. Yes on homework, no on TV and certainly no rope ladders…
Emma: I’ve lived
with him for a while! I know how this goes!
Regina: And your
memories will be gone! So I’ll give you guys totally NEW memories! Like
memories that say you actually want him more than I do!
Emma: Why can’t
you just copy and paste the memories we already have?
Regina: I don’t
know. But I’m sure there’s some sort of explanation that totally makes sense.
Emma: We don’t
have to hug or anything, do we?
Regina: Like I
want your cheap imitation leather touching me!
Regina: I know
leather.
Regina: I used to
be covered in it.
Emma: Oookay,
some things I just don’t want to know.
Regina: It might not
have looked it, but it was fashionable!
*Are Awkward*
Regina: I don’t
like that you’re not agreeing with me
Emma: Ah, this
part of the road…right where Hook unapologetically shot Belle. Oh the memories
we’ve made!
Henry: Not for
long.
Henry: Hey! The
curse fixed its engine and now the curse mechanic is taking it for a test drive
to make sure it works okay, we should go!
Regina: Halt Foul
Dark Curse!
*Everyone is
coughing*
Snow: Regina!
Regina: I didn’t
know Dark Curses compared with ripped dark curses would fill the street with impenetrable
smoke!
Henry: *Sniffles* Goodbye
stepdad!Grandpa…wait who am I?
Emma: What am I
wearing?! WHERE ARE WE? Aw no….mama’s lost her mind!
Regina: And always remember....... I’m his
mother, not you!
Emma: Oh man,
hand me that morphine drip…
Emma: After I
hold my kid. He seems diabolical…someone should…make sure he doesn’t go off the
beaten path of heroism…
Doctor: Aw well,
here you go! Hope you’re not too dangerous of a convict!
Henry: World
domination here I come!
Emma: Aw! To the
foster care system for you until I can somehow prove I can support you and
myself!
Emma: I think I’ll
name you Henry!
Emma: Rudolph
Sebastian Henry Swan
Emma: Rudo for
short
Emma: *Heavy snoring*
*Alarm goes off*
Emma: SHUT YOUR
MOUTH!
Rudo: Have some
water, plant….I love you just like I love everything…
Emma: That’s my
happy Rudo….
Rudo: Mother
mine…you forgot my cinnamon…
Rudo: I don’t
know why you forgot that, we’ve done this every day for years!
Emma: *Blows bubbles
in her coffee*
*Knocks*
Emma: Friggin’
frig, who’s at the door this time of the morning?!
Emma: *Twitches*
if it’s the paperboy looking for me to pay his bill!
Emma: I mean,
it’s not even nine yet, only people wanting revenge for my bailbondsmanship
only do this
Hook: SWAN!
Emma: *Tries to think
of a random bird* Uh….duck!
Hook: Come with
me if you want to live!
Emma: Terminator!
Hook: ….
Emma: That’s the
answer! Did I win?
Hook: What?! You
don’t remember even though I knew this was a memory potion! Oh well! The note
did say a kissagram would work!
Emma: NOPE! *Nadkick*
Hook: Ooowww, my
pride!
Emma: No means
no, buddy!
Hook: I can’t
believe you never felt the same as I did even though you told me so after that
one kiss we had
Rudo: Creepo say
what?!
Hook: What?
Emma: *Slam*
Loser
Hook: EMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Hook: I’m not
leaving until you admit that we’re true love even though I have no reason to
think it!
Emma: Get the
taser, Rudo….and open the window to the fire escape on your way there.
The End
Taking a Two Week Break just because I can
Taking a Two Week Break just because I can
Thank you for this. I feel kind of stupid, being all emotional over this abridged, but you tend to point everything problematic and moving in the show, whether I want to see it or not, and it makes things better. So, thanks !
ReplyDeleteGod, I loved the jokes this ep. Poor Hook... and not-poor Regina!!
ReplyDeleteA two-week break? You fiend!
I think I've realised why OUAT has stooped so low. The show burned through it's central premise(that of fairytale characters being translated into the modern world) in its first season.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, with the exceptions of Jefferson and Baelfire, all plot arcs come to some kind of conclusion.
The rest of the seasons seem like they should be seasons 9-11, not 2-4.
That's usually when shows start living on borrowed time like this show does. Most of the characters are no longer interesting because they're literally just fairytale characters, as opposed to their far more interesting cursed personas. The mystery of "wtf is exactly going on?" is no more and if it weren't for the never ending onslaught of new villains plus Regina's fan base, OUAT wouldn't even have gotten a third season.
Agree, disagree?
I, for one, agree with the plot part. The show thrived on mystery in its first season, but the writers refused to discover the answers of some questions they raised and lazily gave us a huge wham twist finale.
DeleteNow, without a big arc to keep us guessing and guide them in their character exploration, they NEED to speak about the convoluted backstories of the new threats.
I love it, but it's a bit repetitive.
I think they should step away from the villains and focus more on the psychology on the people we have. Sometimes, the episodes that appear to have nothing to do with the premise turn out to be masterpieces.
DeleteWell, the only masterpiecs OUAT produced were Hat Trick and the third season finale. The first focused on a minor character and came alive thanks to Sebastian Stan's performance and as I said above, fascinating psychology. The second one was interesting because of its use of time travel and the planting of Hook and Emma into flashback world.
I think the show needs to really do something daring like that to become relevant, just on a grander scale. Because right now, Storybrooke is a static area that villains just drop into.
P.S. What made Lost great was its exploration of characters and how various groups interacted with one another. There's barely any of that happen in here. We need more realism to go along with magic.
Delete