312- New York City Serenade Part 1

*The ‘go-to’ entrance for this show now*

 

Philip: I have no idea where I am!

 

Philip: Ma’am! Can you help me? I’m lost! Oh wait, it’s Aurora, oh good, I’m in the right place…

 

Aurora: He rode in a giant circle for six hours…

 

Philip: How’s the baby?

Aurora: Practically nonexistent!

 

Aurora: Oh, I’m so glad that no one’s around here and we can continue scavenging from the surrounding castles around here…

 

Philip: ALL The bedrooms…

 

Aurora: *Giggles* This isn’t even my tiara!

 

Aurora: Oh crap, not this drama…

Philip: Oh boy, here we go again…

 

Aurora: Eeeee!

Philip: The wraith! He’s come back for me and he’s brought an army!

 

Philip: Oh, a few feet! I give up, we can’t get away!

Aurora; Save our grapes!

 

Aurora: Oh hey…it…did nothing….

Philip: Friggin’ curse smoke…never gets out of our clothes…

 

*Jefferson’s cardboard cutout of Red made it*

Snow: Leather pants!

Charming: Mmhmm!

Hook: Who are all these people…?

Regina: Yesss….all my clothes are back….

 

Baelfire: Whoa, hey, I look great…

 

Snow: I’ll be taking back my kingdom now….

 

Aurora: But…

Snow: Don’t make me declare war on your ass….

 Emma: Sort of place is this? There’s not even a coat check…

 

Walsh: It’s where we met, Emma….

 

Emma: Was it? Everything seems like a blur these days…

 

Walsh: You s ay that every day! What’s wrong with you? I’m not “50 First Dates” here…are we going to kis-

 

Walsh: Oh, hug…okay…

 

Walsh: To us!

 

Emma: You ate without me…

 

Walsh: Only the appetizers…

 

Emma: That’s all we can afford here!

 

Emma: see? Appetizers…

 

Walsh: Emma, that’s the main course…

 

Emma: Is it? That’s all we’re eating tonight?

 

Emma: Crap, I better savor it…

 

Walsh: Emma…I’m in luuuurve with you!

 

Emma: Oh yeah?

Walsh: Yup!

 

*Randomly walks away*

 

Emma: Hey look at that, my love life just replayed itself…

 

Emma: Now to look on my son’s social media that he thinks I don’t know about and see what he’s really up to!

 

Emma: Oh frick! What do you want?!

 

Hook: Okay first of all, don’t freak out because I forced a kiss on you and then followed you everywhere you went all day

 

*Is trying to calculate distance in kicking sensitive areas*

 

 *Kicks*

 

Hook: AUGH!

 

Emma: Go away!

 

Hook: Do you think you could order me some caviar? I’m hungry…

 

Hook: No one believes my doubloons are legit.

 

Emma: I don’t believe your doubloons are legit.

 

Hook: Wait, was that innuendo? I don’t know anymore! Go to this place, you’re needed!

Emma: You want me to go to that address and hope it’s not a trap for you to do unmentionable things to me?

 

Hook: Emma! I only did that the one time!

 

Hook: Okay, I might have just shoved you hard into the wall, I….I just realized how bad that sounded….

 

Emma: GO AWAY!

 

Hook: LIKE ME!

 

*Doesn’t like him*

 

Hook: ….

 

Emma: …

 

Hook: ….

 

Emma: Does this usually work?

 

Hook: Usually, yeah. This must be an off day…

 

Hook: And then I rode the subway…

 

 Hook: I’m going to leave now.

 

Emma: This evening is weird….

 

Snow: And so here we are…all arrived in our old clothes! Except for me because I’m not limping in a nightgown covered in baby goop…

 

Snow: It’s so good to see you!

Charming: Wait…do we know these people?

 

Snow: I trust our house is still intact?

 

Aurora: Hee hee hee, nope!

 

Hook: What are my chances here…?

 

Regina: It’s my castle!

 

Charming: That we fought over and won, Regina….Gosh!

 

Hook: You could always come hang out with me?

 

Regina: No thank you, ‘new castle’ doesn’t mean ‘ship’

Aurora: Um…why do we like her again?

 

Regina: I’m moving into my own summer palace that was built for your mother!

 

Snow: We’ll do it together! We’ll all live together! It’ll be a message of hope!

 

Regina: Because…’hope’ is what people think of when the woman who ruined 28 years of their lives is right down the hallway? Well, I guess it’s hopeful for me but….

 

Snow: Look, just hang out with us! No one cares how little sense it makes! I even forgot that you don’t regret anything you’ve done to me!

 

Regina: This is why I never think there’s consequences to my actions, Snow!

 

Philip: Bye!

Aurora: Tee hee!

 

Charming: No, no, you walk in front of me, Regina.  I still trust you as far as I can throw you…

Regina: Baby.

Charming: This is the shirt that you had your men stab me to death over when I was keeping my daughter from getting killed!

Regina: ….baby

 

Aurora: Huh. Maybe we should have told them about the certain person living there…

 

Philip: Sweetie…just say ‘The Wicked Witch’ Everyone knows that’s who it is. They’ve been advertising it for weeks now

 

Philip: Oh hey, I think I know that Australian girl from somewhere…like we met a long time ago…

 

Aurora: She was Claire from “Lost” Philip!

 

Aurora: Or she better be…

 

Walsh: Hey, who was that crazy guy?

Emma: What crazy guy?

Walsh: The crazy guy just now that ate my dinner!

 

Emma: Some weirdo. He rode the subway.

Walsh: What’s a subway?

Emma: ?

Walsh: I mean...what a fool!

 

Emma: That’s what I’ve been saying…

 

Walsh: So about us dating for a few months! That’s totally the length of eternity for TV time

 

Emma: Oh Walsh…where are you going with this?

 

Emma: Seriously, where are you going with this?

 

Emma: Our serving girl dropped her ring on my plate…we should call her…

 

Walsh: Emma, that’s your ring!

 

Emma: I don’t have a ring like that, that’s an engage-

 

Emma: Oh….

 

Walsh: Emma, will you ma-

 

Emma: NOPE!

 

Walsh: So…got everybody’s pity…

 

Emma: I REALLY DON’T LIKE SURPRISES!

 

Walsh: That makes sense. “Surprise! We’re putting you off on the side of the road” “Surprise! We’re sending you back to the orphanage!” “Surprise! You’re going to jail!”….

 

Emma: This doesn’t help anything, Walsh…

 

Walsh: Just accept that we’re meant to be together so you can be alive! I mean, happy!

 

Emma: I Need to go home and talk to the kid I have and spend a really long time mulling this over…

 

Walsh: Oh yeah, him…

 

Emma: And then sob in my pillow because I left that perfectly good desert on the table.

 

Walsh: No worries. I’ll eat it since you’re leaving me to pay the bill

 

Walsh: And I don’t even work!

 

Emma: I do sort of wonder about that. One of these days you’ll have to tell me why there’s no digital footprint on you…

 

Walsh: Hug me!

 

Emma: *squees* But I’ll find out tomorrow maybe!

 

Walsh: How about never?

 

Emma: No man, I’m going to find out…

 

Walsh: Oh what a lovely night, I’m going for a walk since I don’t know how to drive.

 

Walsh: You could always take me back to your place….

 

Emma: No.

 

Walsh: Oh.