Baelfire: Okay, we’re almost there. Now we all have to be stealthy and focused otherwise we’ll be separated and have our souls ripped out to be one of them. No pressure!
Emma: Use your sword.
Hook: Thanks for that shave, Emma.
Baelfire: Huh. You kept it.
Hook: Well it was one of the swords that I have you, why would I throw good steel overboard?
Emma: Yo, why are you two mad at each other?
Hook: *Scoffs* Probably because we’re fighting over you.
Hook: It also might be on account of the time I did some business with Pan that screwed him over or the times all in season 2 when I worked with your enemies to either maim or kill all of you but I’m TOTALLY sure it’s just all about you and your Susie Secret self about our kissing.
Hook: HOW COME YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM ABOUT US?!
Emma: You mean the kiss that I said was a one-time thing? Why would you assume that I told him? And why didn’t you even ask me?
Hook: Because feelings!
Emma: Dude, we’re here to save my son.
Hook: But my feelings!
Emma: Are not friggin the priority here! My God, stop being Bella fricking Swan. The world does not revolve around your love.
Hook: But you’ll have to choose-
Emma: Is that the sound of Bae screaming in agony as the shadows rip into him?
Hook: No shut up, but I had this memorized! You’re totes going to fall for me! I’m going to win you. I’m going to win you so gooooood…..
Emma: You’re not setting a good image for yourself thus far…
Hook: *Is depressed*
Hook: *Singing* “Hey I just met you…and this is crazy-.”
Hook: *Eyes of love*
Hook: *Staring contest*
Emma: *blinks* Curses
Hook: *Random boy behavior*
Hook: *Is proud that he can do that and hopes she’s charmed*
Hook: WHAT’S IG GOING TO TAKE?!
Baelfire: Are you guys stuck at the red light? I fought like 20 shadows without you guys.
Hook: We’re having a dalliance?
Emma: stop saying that! No we’re not!
Baelfire: Okay everyone, be very very quiet…we’re hunting shadows…*Elmer Fudd laugh*
Hook: *Rolls eyes*
Emma: This doesn’t seem so bad.
Baelfire: Oh yeah, the wind here is terrible. Just thought you should know
Baelfire: Luckily when the shadows were visiting other shadow family members during the holidays, I would sneak in here and memorize the place with my eyes closed in case this happened!
Hook: *Is jealous* Show off!
*Is navigating with his eyes closed*
Hook: I hope one of the shadow babies left a roller skate out…
Belle: *Is flailing*
Ariel: We could’ve taken them. That’s all I’m saying.
Belle: I had to get tied up, beat up or generally screwed with on my appearance to fulfil my contract obligation. Now that that’s out of the way, we can kick some arse.
Ariel: Awesome! I have the exact thingamabob for the stabbing too!
Belle: *Is frustrated* It’s a corkscrew Ariel, for Rumple’s sake…
Belle: *Imitating Ariel* It’s a thingamabob dinglehopper whatchadiggy!
Ariel: Well I can’t know these things for I am a mermaid!
Belle: And you smell like one too.
Ariel: That’s it; I’m going forsake my perfect makeup and styled hair for the sake of my fin to SLAP you with!
Belle: Oh boy am I scared! I’ll wait for it while you flail around on the floor because you forgot that you don’t breathe air...
Ariel: Well we’ll just see who’ll win then!
*are wrestling over the bracelet*
Belle: Ha! I got it! Victory!
Belle: *Is knocked out*
Ariel: Hey, look who isn’t bound for some reason! *waves her free arms around*
Belle: Concussion…call for help…
Ariel: Oh, these ropes come off rather easily!
Belle: Those little arses come into MY town! Where’s my army, I need them! And Red isn’t picking up her phone!
Belle: Maybe they’re still hanging out in the street somewhere…
Belle: Oh! Oh! Oh! *Is jumping up and down* I just thought of something!
Belle: They’re totally at the mines!
Ariel: Why would they go all the way there?
Belle: Silly Ariel. Everything of importance happens at the mines!
Belle: I’m so smart; I’m going there by myself don’tfollowme!
Charming: Hm…that tree sap almost glued my lips together.
Snow: *Wishes it was permanent*
Charming: Snow! I will always find you!
Snow: *Record screech*
Charming: Oh crap, am I about to die?
Snow: I can’t believe Hook figured out something I didn’t! You two had your little bestieship over your possible death!
Charming: I wanted to crush his head in, but he wouldn’t let me!
Snow: And I wanted to push him off a cliff
Snow: I ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE IN THE JUNGLE!
Charming: You did?
Snow: IT WAS ON MY CHRISTMAS WISHLIST EVERY YEAR SINCE WE MET!
Snow: YOU SHOULD’VE REALIZED IT AT SOME POINT!
Charming: I must’ve skipped that part because humidity makes my hair curl.
Charming: Wait, what about Emma? Don’t you want to stay with her too?
Snow: Oh snap, I forgot about her…
Charming: We could be a whole family living here! Just like Swiss Family Robinson!
Snow: We can’t be Swiss Family Robinson, there’s no misplaced wildlife here…
Charming: Then we’ll bring some! Starting with the dwarves!
Snow: *Is a little in love*
Snow: Wait! What about indoor plumbing! I’m tired of using leaves and hoping they’re not poison!
Charming: We shall ask Rumple to make us bathrooms!
Charming: We’ll make our own?
Snow: Oh honey!
Charming: Yessss, I am forgiven!
Snow: All we have to do is brutally murder Pan and we can take over this dump
Charming: Yes honey, I know.
*are in love again*
*Is humming mission impossible*
Emma: Where did all this light come from?
Hook: My shining personality?
Baelfire: Well, this is as good a spot as any.
Baelfire: So this is a very special coconut…don’t ask why this can capture shadows and not something else, but it just CAN!
Emma: Why does it have the holes at the top?
Baelfire: Because I get scared of the dark
Hook: Wimp. I’m not scared of anything. I am vengeance! I am the night-
Baelfire: WTF? You’re not Batman
Hook: I could be.
Hook: I have dead parents! I’m totally Batman
Baelfire: Hold on, this lighter’s acting up….
Hook: Why do you even HAVE a lighter?!
Baelfire: Technical difficulties…give me a sec…
Hook: I WANT TO TRY!
Baelfire: It’s not going to be accessed by a special touch, okay? It’s a friggin lighter!
Hook: I WANNA TRY!
Baelfire: Okay, seriously? We’re doing this?
Hook: How come it doesn’t work?
Baelfire: How do you even know how to work a lighter?
Hook: No! It’s mine!
Baelfire: It’s mine! I paid like 12 bucks!
*Triangle staring contest*
Emma: Wow, I could’ve done this on my own and been back by now.
*Runs over to arm-wrestle over Emma like the cavemen they’re acting like*
Emma: Friggin’ do this myself*
Shadow: Will you shut up?! We’re trying to sleep!
Emma: WHAT ARE THOSE NIGHTMARE INDUCING THINGS!
Hook: Shut up Emma, we’re fighting over you!
Baelfire: Quick! Do a danceoff! It’s the only way!
Emma: It’s not working! *curls up in a fetal position*
Baelfire: Stop groping me!
Emma: I could just leave them….
Emma: Happy place, happy place…
Emma: *Flails blindly with her sword*
*Are getting their shadows ripped out*
Hook: Pardon me, that’s mine…
Emma: It’s not even a scented candle either…
Emma: Oh well, might as well save them. If I don’t, I don’t get to beat their heads into the ground later…
Emma: Oh frig! I never expected it to actually WORK!
Shadow: Not again!
Hook: I fell on my hook!
Baelfire: I fell on my Magic 8 ball!
Emma: Hey, looks like I saved the day and you guys didn’t.
Henry: Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky..
Henry: He won’t notice me two yards away from him!
Felix: Are you serious? I can see your flannel from here~!
Felix: I hope if he grows up, he realizes what an idiot he was…
Henry: He doesn’t suspect a thing! Tee hee hee!