Felix: Man, I can’t believe you fooled the evil queen!
Pan: Have you met her? It’s not that difficult…
Felix: They put me to work in the mines and it was terrible! The dwarves are sadistic overlords!
Pan: This well will give me everything I Need to start the Dark Curse…
Pan: Which I somehow gathered the ingredients to in a span of the walk here!
Pan: Remember how it took Rumple centuries to gather and manipulate to get them all here?
Pan: Well apparently he’s a chode in that department, it didn’t take me long at all!
Felix: How did you know the well is magical?
Pan: I dunno. Guess its in the book or something….
Rumpelstiltskin: Why do I feel like I’m the tour guide for a field trip? Pan wants to cast the dark curse…why aren’t you all scrambling to keep that from happening?
Rumpelstiltskin: He’d probably do horrible things tome like make me wear thrift store clothes and give me curly hair…we should really get started in stopping him…
Regina: So anyone want to do the work? I gotta get my beauty rest…I need to stay ahead of all of you in that department….
Rumpelstiltskin: Anyone know who the Black Fairy is?
Regina: Is this a mystery? because I never know who anyone is anymore…
Rumpelstiltskin: *Wonders why he deals with these people*
Pan: This….don’t know what it does. I don’t think I got a degree in potion making in Neverland where I ran and played and flew all day…now all I need is a heart and I guess yours is as good as it gets…
*Is daydreaming about a hot girl he saw*
Pan: …are you even listening to me?
Pan: Grr! If only I wasn’t in such an unintimidating body!
Rumpelstiltskin: So basically…stuff happens that doesn't amount to much in the long run and we need her wand….from the fairies…
Rumpelstiltskin: Well don’t everyone run off at once…you guys are going to have to go do it, they don’t like me. They think I keep blowing them up to steal their magic…
Felix: I’m making it echo! Echo! *Makes echo noises*
Pan: FELIX! I’m ripping your heart and killing you!
Felix: Because you love me?! Wait…what? Then how come I never got the raise I was asking for for the past 299 years?
Pan: No you idiot! I just tolerate you best!
Felix: What?! This would end badly?!
Pan: Yuuuup, it’s a good thing you didn’t listen to Henry’s little ramblings about the minion never gets the glory that his evil overlord gets….because you would’ve seen through this a lot faster…
Felix: Oh NOES! B-but we didn’t even get my backstory!
Pan: We only have eleven episodes to fit in one franchise and an epic story of memorable characters! How did you think this was going to work!?
Pan: I don’t believe your heart would be this spotless!
Felix: Because it’s not mine! I’m saving it for a friend!
Pan: Darn you, well of sacrifice!
Henry: So…you have Pan’s body can’t you just use that finding potion to track his soul down?
Rumpelstiltskin: That is a very good question and the answer to that is…. ‘no’, we need a super powerful fairy wand…
Regina: But aren’t they useless? And that means one of us has to go look at Blue’s body.
Rumpelstiltskin: One of you has to! I just told you that they banned me after I kept setting them on fire!
Tinkerbell: As they’re unelected new leader, I will answer the call! So will Bae and Hook!
Hook: I didn’t volunteer!
Tinkerbell: Eh….also Charming. I just want to be surrounded by all the attractive guys if I die.
Emma, Regina, Snow: Say WHAT?!
Tinkerbell: Sorry Rumple.
Rumpelstiltskin: That’s okay, the alpha wolf walks alone…
Hook: Oh GOD, can we just go?
Rumpelstiltskin: Try not to fail so horribly everyone!
Snow: What if this super bad plan doesn’t work?
Charming: I do have to admit, there’s something shady about this whole affair, I think you might be lying…
Blue: It will work!
Snow: And how do you know? Do you have foresight?
Blue: No…but. Um…I do have…Gepetto’s trustworthiness and the knowledge of trees to back it up!
Snow: *Narrows eyes* Charming’s right, there’s something mighty suspicious about the whole thing…
Blue: Well it’s not!
Snow: Well, why can’t we just teleport Regina into the wardrobe and send her over?
Blue: Well we can’t!
Snow: I am going to be 28 years older than my husband when I get back. That is going to put a kink in our sex life!
Charming: Oh no…I didn’t even think about that…
Snow: Maybe we could just stab her in the face…
Blue: JUST HAVE HOPE, OKAY?!
Snow: *Gasp* Hope! I shall have it from this moment forth!
Charming: Dial it back!
Snow: No! Hope for the good of all things all the time!
Blue: I have fairies to rule with an iron fist. I’ll see you guys later.
Snow: Well I have hope that you’re going to be me my french-fry omlette that I’m craving all day!
Charming: Well I have hope that that’s what the dwarves are for!
Snow: I’m not sure that the glass mobile is something we should put above our daughter’s crib….
Charming: No, it’s fine. Grumpy swore by it. He said that its’ fragile little glass can withstand ANY curse that might whip it around and break everything else around it…
Snow: Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful…?
Charming: I know I will, I know I will, I know that I will…always find you.
Charming: Except for the 28 years where I’m trapped…
Snow: *Mood ruined* That started out so romantic too…
Emma: Hey guys, I got bored of guarding Henry from Pan…what are you guys up to?
Emma: Oh hey, that was mine, right/
Rumpelstiltskin: Only if you pay!
Snow: Ignore him, he’s grumpy.
Rumpelstiltskin: I can’t believe I’m trusting all of you not to screw up while I sit here waiting!
Emma: I like it!
Snow: Isn’t it amazing how this thing survived a curse that broke through the ceiling, the fight with Cora and Regina, the failsafe, THE TIME ELLA MACED RUMPLE!
Rumpelstiltskin: I LET HER!
Emma: Mm, those were some good times. Especially the macing…
Emma: So…we couldn’t even have five minutes of character development before a new plot kicked in…
Belle: It’s okay Henry, the nice shop won’t hurt you…
Henry: I know…I’ve been here before.
Regina: Rumple and Belle were here for 24 hours, touch NOTHING, Henry…
Snow: Have all the hope that we’ll be okay!
Emma: It’s worked out great so far….
Rumpelstiltskin: Sorry guys, I was writing in my diary. I knew where the spell was ten minutes ago. I was just trying to look busy while I flipped the mattress over for obvious reasons…
Rumpelstiltskin: Ready for agonizing pain, Henry?
Fairy: Well….we probably should’ve expected the funeral to turn out like this…
Tinkerbell: Hey! Give us all your wands or Bae will do something drastic!
Baelfire: I really don’t want to do anything but forget all this happened.
Tinkerbell: Mmhmm, he’s going to mess you all up so good…
Fairy: Um…you’re a reject and we’re having a FUNERAL
Tinkerbell: I’ll take that as insubordination to my orders. Kill them, Baelfire…
*Is a shadow*
Everyone: OH NOES!
Shadow: Hey guys! Let me in! You’re not supposed to turn ANYONE out of church!
Charming: *Is absolutely terrified*
Charming: Everybody RUN!
Hook: If you’re not in the car by the time I start it, you’re on your own!
Charming: You don’t drive!
Hook: I’ll hide in here!
Charming: No! The car- Fine! *Goes to hide with him*
*When writers are too lazy to look up their own continuity*
Hook: This is terrible! It’s been a very long time ago and I can’t find anything to kill the Dark One!
Hook: I should’ve known that coming to the place where my brother died and a manchild manipulated both of us was a bad idea!
Smee: Not your smartest move…
Hook: It…seemed like a good idea at the time, okay?
Hook: Though now it feels really stupid because I forgot that I don’t know how to get back…
Hook: Which is embarrassing…
Hook: Smee, if you saw another body of my crew strung up and that’s the only reason why you screamed, I swear….
Hook: Oh…oh yes…
Tinkerbell: Hey you!
Hook: Finally! A lady voice! Can you put the knife down please? My hair doesn’t like being tugged! *Eyes water*
Tinkerbell: Hi! I’m Tink! I’m a pixie with no wings and no magic!
Hook: Wait a second…if you have no magic then why did I lead everyone to you for help!? I knew you were powerless already?
Tinkerbell: *Checks out* Are you a captain in all the right places?
Hook: Want a drink? IT’s probably centuries of backwash in it and I have no idea where I get my supply but it’s passable…
Hook: *Cries because he just lost some precious rum*
Hook: Aw..but you drank all of it!
Hook: *Tries to get some drops*
Hook: Nevermind, it’s not worth it…
Tinkerbell: Want to make out?
Hook: I always want to make out.