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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Part 4

 Regina: So do I…have to get the scroll by myself then?
*Behind them, business continues as usual*


Baelfire: Should I comfort her or…just….stand here trying to hold it together…

Regina: Fine! I’ll get it! USELESS!

Snow: So…did Killing Pan stop his magic or not?
Charming: I don’t know. The rules about curses and caster mortality are rough…

Hook: Personally, I never liked him….

Emma: I’ll never hear the hair raising tilt of his Scottish “hiiiiiii Emma” again!
Baelfire: Could you hug Belle? She won’t let go of my leg

Hook: Also my arm is now frozen like this…I might need the Jaws of Life to get it able to bend again…

Regina: This curse is even slower than mine!

Grumpy: Hey guys! Now that the sacrifice is over, the curse is coming!

Regina: How do we all BREATHE with these plots?

Grumpy: How do I breathe at all? I just ran like 30 miles!

Charming: Hey, could you possibly save us, Regina?
Emma: Wait! Rumple died?! *goes into hyperventilation’s*

Regina: So I can rip up the scroll or something but it erases all of us from existence…which means that I gotta give up Henry. And conveniently he has to go with you and not you and Bae…

Emma: Rumple died!
Baelfire: *Wonders if he’ll EVER get more than just ‘Emma’s other love interest’ this season*

Regina: I’ll take that to mean you’ve process what I said and are thinking accordingly….

Regina: Isn’t constant family separation fun?!

Emma: Nooooo?

Regina: I’ll still get to be queen, right?

Charming: Noooooo?

Regina: You’re just taking everything away from me aren’t you?

Belle: I think I’m okay guys….

Emma: Wait! We can’t be together!?

Regina: For fudge’s sake, Emma! Keep up!


Regina: It’ll be like we never existed…even though we did exist and that’s how you got reunited to Henry, so that might be some sort of paradox involved, which might result in your head exploding and…I don’t know. I’m losing everything so I’m getting my brain into self-pity mode.


Regina: Relax! You’ll go out into the world with just a bug and a kid and no money since your paycheck is getting wiped out and no home! How happy for you!

Emma: That doesn’t sound happy!

Emma: Henry doesn’t even have RECORDS!

Regina: Emma, DON’T think this out…


Regina: I’ve never thought a day in my life and look what it all got me!

Emma: Losing everything?


Snow: Hey, even though I wanted us to stay together no matter what…at least we’ll still be family in separate worlds…

Emma: If Zelena can just zoom witches to other worlds, why can’t I just do the same and go on ahead of all of you?!

Snow: Because FAMILY AND HOPE! That’s why!

Emma: This just feels really stupid…

Regina: You never like my plans.

Hook: Causetheysuck.

Emma: Can’t you just…put us in Pandora’s Box and take us with you?

Emma: I’m so glad we called a truce on our rivalry for the Dark One of whom I was NEVER attracted to!
Hook: I can’t believe we all fit in the bug to go out here…

Charming: That curse is just…meandering along…

Regina: Well Henry, guess you were wrong about me.

Henry: About what? If you think I’m going to be sorry because I left to find Emma and go save my loved ones that you enslaved and tried to kill for the first two seasons, I won’t be. You were nuts and that whole ‘hole in your heart’ thing kept you from being able to love, so I’m not going to go into some spiel that I had love all along…

Regina: Oh Henry, I’m sorry too!

Henry: ‘Too’ would imply that I did something wrong!

Regina: *Self Pity mode* I’m a villain!

Henry: Yes you are.

Regina: Darn, that reverse psychology never works….

Emma: So…sorry you can’t come with.

Baelfire: It’s okay. I didn’t want to be anything more than someone off to the sides anyway….

Henry: I made Regina cry!
Baelfire: *Pats*
Emma: So if you guys go back and Storybrooke will be as if it never existed, do you guys have your memories here too?

Baelfire: I don’t even know, but I’m so moving in to dad’s house…I always wanted a castle….

Hook: I like you too!

Emma: That’s nice.

Hook: Acknowledgment!

Regina: Always make sure Henry has extra tissues all year around, his nose is like Niagara…and make sure he wears clean underwear, and no hot dogs, no candy, no freedom of any kind. Yes on homework, no on TV and certainly no rope ladders…

Emma: I’ve lived with him for a while! I know how this goes!

Regina: And your memories will be gone! So I’ll give you guys totally NEW memories! Like memories that say you actually want him more than I do!

Emma: Why can’t you just copy and paste the memories we already have?

Regina: I don’t know. But I’m sure there’s some sort of explanation that totally makes sense.

Emma: We don’t have to hug or anything, do we?

Regina: Like I want your cheap imitation leather touching me!

Regina: I know leather.

Regina: I used to be covered in it.

Emma: Oookay, some things I just don’t want to know.

Regina: It might not have looked it, but it was fashionable!

*Are Awkward*

Regina: I don’t like that you’re not agreeing with me

Emma: Ah, this part of the road…right where Hook unapologetically shot Belle. Oh the memories we’ve made!
Henry: Not for long.

Henry: Hey! The curse fixed its engine and now the curse mechanic is taking it for a test drive to make sure it works okay, we should go!

Regina: Halt Foul Dark Curse!

*Everyone is coughing*
Snow: Regina!
Regina: I didn’t know Dark Curses compared with ripped dark curses would fill the street with impenetrable smoke!

Henry: *Sniffles* Goodbye stepdad!Grandpa…wait who am I?

Emma: What am I wearing?! WHERE ARE WE? Aw no….mama’s lost her mind!

Regina: And always remember....... I’m his mother, not you!

Emma: Oh man, hand me that morphine drip…

Emma: After I hold my kid. He seems diabolical…someone should…make sure he doesn’t go off the beaten path of heroism…

Doctor: Aw well, here you go! Hope you’re not too dangerous of a convict!

Henry: World domination here I come!
Emma: Aw! To the foster care system for you until I can somehow prove I can support you and myself!

Emma: I think I’ll name you Henry!

Emma: Rudolph Sebastian Henry Swan

Emma: Rudo for short

Emma: *Heavy snoring*

*Alarm goes off*

Rudo: Have some water, plant….I love you just like I love everything…

Emma: That’s my happy Rudo….

Rudo: Mother mine…you forgot my cinnamon…

Rudo: I don’t know why you forgot that, we’ve done this every day for years!

Emma: *Blows bubbles in her coffee*

Emma: Friggin’ frig, who’s at the door this time of the morning?!

Emma: *Twitches* if it’s the paperboy looking for me to pay his bill!

Emma: I mean, it’s not even nine yet, only people wanting revenge for my bailbondsmanship only do this

Hook: SWAN!

Emma: *Tries to think of a random bird* Uh….duck!

Hook: Come with me if you want to live!

Emma: Terminator!

Hook: ….

Emma: That’s the answer! Did I win?

Hook: What?! You don’t remember even though I knew this was a memory potion! Oh well! The note did say a kissagram would work!

Emma: NOPE! *Nadkick*

Hook: Ooowww, my pride!

Emma: No means no, buddy!

Hook: I can’t believe you never felt the same as I did even though you told me so after that one kiss we had

Rudo: Creepo say what?!
Hook: What?

Emma: *Slam* Loser

Hook: I’m not leaving until you admit that we’re true love even though I have no reason to think it!

Emma: Get the taser, Rudo….and open the window to the fire escape on your way there.

The End

Taking a Two Week Break just because I can 


  1. Thank you for this. I feel kind of stupid, being all emotional over this abridged, but you tend to point everything problematic and moving in the show, whether I want to see it or not, and it makes things better. So, thanks !

  2. God, I loved the jokes this ep. Poor Hook... and not-poor Regina!!
    A two-week break? You fiend!

  3. I think I've realised why OUAT has stooped so low. The show burned through it's central premise(that of fairytale characters being translated into the modern world) in its first season.
    Seriously though, with the exceptions of Jefferson and Baelfire, all plot arcs come to some kind of conclusion.
    The rest of the seasons seem like they should be seasons 9-11, not 2-4.
    That's usually when shows start living on borrowed time like this show does. Most of the characters are no longer interesting because they're literally just fairytale characters, as opposed to their far more interesting cursed personas. The mystery of "wtf is exactly going on?" is no more and if it weren't for the never ending onslaught of new villains plus Regina's fan base, OUAT wouldn't even have gotten a third season.

    Agree, disagree?

    1. I, for one, agree with the plot part. The show thrived on mystery in its first season, but the writers refused to discover the answers of some questions they raised and lazily gave us a huge wham twist finale.

      Now, without a big arc to keep us guessing and guide them in their character exploration, they NEED to speak about the convoluted backstories of the new threats.

      I love it, but it's a bit repetitive.

    2. I think they should step away from the villains and focus more on the psychology on the people we have. Sometimes, the episodes that appear to have nothing to do with the premise turn out to be masterpieces.
      Well, the only masterpiecs OUAT produced were Hat Trick and the third season finale. The first focused on a minor character and came alive thanks to Sebastian Stan's performance and as I said above, fascinating psychology. The second one was interesting because of its use of time travel and the planting of Hook and Emma into flashback world.

      I think the show needs to really do something daring like that to become relevant, just on a grander scale. Because right now, Storybrooke is a static area that villains just drop into.

    3. P.S. What made Lost great was its exploration of characters and how various groups interacted with one another. There's barely any of that happen in here. We need more realism to go along with magic.