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Thursday, October 16, 2014

The New Neverland Part 4

Emma: Yup, that’s the town line. Once he’s crossed it, he’ll have no magic.

Rumpelstiltskin: Uh….didn’t we establish in Tamara’s flashback episode that those with magic and not native to Storybrooke can still have magic? I mean Bae went to a land without magic and Pan’s shadow came and went just fine…
Belle: Shhh, honey, shhhh

Emma: If he tries to lunge for me, blow his head off.
Rumpelstiltskin: Like a watermelon
Snowing: *Are concerned*

Rumpelstiltskin: Also be careful Emma…not that I care…

Emma: I’m always careful…

Rumpelstiltskin: You forgot to get the box!

Rumpelstiltskin: *tosses over the line*

Emma: Mmmm, shooting possible biological minors in front of my family!

Henry!Pan: The light! My eyes! I can’t see!

Henry!Pan: Mummeh!

Rumpelstiltskin: BLOW HIS HEAD OFF!

Henry!Pan: You couldn’t do that to your favorite son, right?

Emma: *Gasp* It has to be him! He knows he’s my favorite son!

Rumpelstiltskin: Uh…he could’ve told Pan that when they were buddies! Or….he could’ve inexplicably knew it like he inexplicably knew everything he did!

Henry!Pan: Stepdaddy!

Henry!Pan: See? It’s me!

Rumpelstiltskin: My father pretends to be my stepson which is also my grandson and before that, my girlfriend…
Belle: My head hurts…

Rumpelstiltskin: Emma, kneecap him!

Henry!Pan: Mommy! Remember that one time at the playground where we bonded?!

Henry!Pan: And how super great it was? Back in the good season?

Snow: Season one was pretty rad….
Charming: I got my eye on you….

Henry!Pan: You’re the only mommeh for me!

*Is faltering*

Henry!Pan: Down with the evil queen!

Emma: My son!

*Runs to each other in slow motion*

Rumpelstiltskin: *Really wanted to blow someone’s head off*

Emma: You better not be Pan still…otherwise this will be awkward…

Henry!Pan: Does this mean I have magic now too?

Henry!Pan: Wait! I don’t want hugs!
Emma: You don’t get hugs, you get a box thingie.
Rumpelstiltskin: Whoopee…

Rumpelstiltskin: Sorry about that whole wanting you dead thing grandson!dad

Henry!Pan: Can we…not call me that?

Rumpelstiltskin: Oh no, it’s too weird otherwise…

Charming: Tell me we can’t lock Regina and Pan down in the vault and watch them all fight it out?
Snow: No….
Charming: *Groans*

Henry!Pan: Is that Shrek sweat? Gross!

Henry!Pan: Ooo, is that a Glade scented candle?

Regina: Oh Henry, you’re totally safe here with me in the vault where I keep things such as two headed snakes and a previous occupant of my dead boyfriend.

Regina: And all the hearts of my victims…

Regina: Don’t you feel safe?!

Henry!Pan: Hey, can I have that sleeping spell you have down here?

Regina: Why, I have no reason to see why you can’t see the magic you’ve always hated me using!

Regina: You’re finally coming around to my way of thinking!

Henry!Pan: God help us all if that happened….
Regina: ARGLE!

*Is passed out*

Henry!Pan: Wow, that was way too easy….it’s embarrassing really…

Snow: Ah, brutally murdering a creature that hasn’t done anything to us, that’s the life…

Charming: Well, I checked all over, I’m not stone in any bits that you might show appreciation for…

Snow: I should double check just to make sure…

Charming: Now you’re thinking about sexy times when I nearly died? I think….I think maybe we should talk about this…

Snow: Nah, I realized that I can’t put everything on hold to defeat Regina and I think we should try to have a family in spite of it!

Charming: I’m sure that’ll work out well for EVERYONE involved!

Snow: I’m going to name her Euemma Chrysanthimum III

Charming: Ugh…ummm….Snow…let’s…lets talk about shortening that….

Snow: We’ll call her…

Snow: Eu.

Charming: I think this is something that we should probably talk about more in depth…


Charming: Are you pregnant yet?

Snow: Oh boy Charming, you and I are about to have a very long and traumatizing talk….

Emma: Regina…pick up your phone. We walked all the way here even though Rumple could probably teleport us…

Henry!Pan: I could fly…if grandpa didn’t handcuff me to him...
Rumpelstiltskin: I just want to make sure you’re who you say you are grandson!dad!

Henry!Pan: I could’ve killed you all before we even got here! And you’re leading me right to where the other me obviously wanted to be!
Rumpelstiltskin: Silence, you!

Hook: We’ve been gone for hours!
Baelfire: Shut up!
Tinkerbelle: How hard is it to pick a lock?
Baelfire: It’s enchanted! It’s totally enchanted!

Henry!Pan: DADDY!
Baelfire: SON!GRANPA!
Tinkerbelle: What…did we miss?
Hook: It was only a matter of time with the family relationship with every single character on this show.

Hook: hey Tink, guess what I stole
Tinkerbelle: I don’t care.

Hook: Bae’s coconut!

Rumpelstiltskin: Open door!

Baelfire: It’s actually enchanted?!
Rumpelstiltskin: No! It’s only locked! I’m trying to make you look good in front of Emma!

Rumpelstiltskin: HUR! It’s so hard!

Emma: I couldn’t go ONE DAY without something happening!

Snow: So about your happiness….

Emma: You guys tried to be happy despite all the bad around you that wanted you hurt or dead or under their rule…look how we all ended up!

Charming: She’s got a point there…


Emma: What? I wasn’t paying attention…
Baelfire: *Groans*

Rumpelstiltskin: Oh good, she’s dead.

Emma: Where is this light coming from?

Snow: Wake up Regina! *slaps lightly*

Rumpelstiltskin: I don’t think that’ll do it, she’s a heavy sleeper, you should hit her harder….like this!


Rumpelstiltskin: That’s for Belle, bitch.

Regina: Owww, can’t I sleep for five minutes?!

Regina: Hey, how did you all get in here?

Emma: Opened the door…

 Regina: I was wrong! I was too blind to see the truth in front of me!

Emma: Sort of a funny habit with you….

Henry!Pan: So, you lost my body

Regina: Henry! Aren’t you glad I’m okay? I just needed you to need my mothering!

Henry!Pan: I’m not sure any child alive would do well with your sort of mothering but here’s a pity hug.

Rumpelstiltskin: Hold up…where’s the original curse?

Regina: Oh, you mean the darkest of all dark curses? I just left it on display with no security precautions whatsoever…

Rumpelstiltskin: You’re so stupid…

Felix: Are you holding it inside out?

Pan!Henry: I don’t know! I can’t even read my son’s handwriting! I’m sorry he ever learned how to read!

Pan!Henry: Want to take over Storybrooke?

Felix: I guess? I mean, they do have cheeseburgers here, so…

Pan!Henry: I can’t read this, I think we should wing it...

Pan!Henry: Hope everything it takes to wield a dark curse is here!

Regina: Wait, didn’t making the Dark Curse take years and years.

Rumpelstiltskin: It took centuries and Pan somehow wants to do it in the span of five minutes!

Emma: This makes no sense…

Pan!Henry: Well, let’s figure out how to make our own curse *Crumbles the note up*
Felix: Wait, what if we cursed the world?! How great would that be?!I always wanted to fly off the Eiffel Tower!

Pan!Henry: His plans are greater than mine! He must die!
 Felix: Slide down the pyramids…
 Pan!Henry: That does sound fun…

Felix: What will we do here forever? Be bored?
Pan!Henry: I don’t know!

The End

1 comment:

  1. Not to mention the fact that Felix is apparently Pan's true love...