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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Part 3

Rumpelstiltskin: Happy birthday to you Bae…I would’ve gotten a cake but I forgot if it was you or I that liked chocolate…

Rumpelstiltskin: I really wish one of these days; I could talk to Victor about how electricity works…

Belle: Flower service!
Rumpelstiltskin: Grrr, go away!

Belle: Excuse YOU, this is my library!

Rumpelstiltskin: Woman, this is MY library! YOU just got lost on the way to yours again!

Rumpelstiltskin: Ugh, I got a paper cut on my tongue today licking envelopes and it hurts…

Belle: Can I hang out?

Rumpelstiltskin: No, I’m having a birthday celebration of my son!

Belle: Oooo, so you have a soooon?

Rumpelstiltskin: Yeah, but timeline wise you’re not supposed to know about this yet

Rumpelstiltskin: Friggin’ continuity…

Rumpelstiltskin: I’m going to get him back

Belle: Through terrible means?

Rumpelstiltskin: Probably…

Belle: I see all the good in you!

 Rumpelstiltskin: For God’s sakes, Belle, that’s going to get old quick…

Rumpelstiltskin: Slap bracelet, why you got to be so mean?

Rumpelstiltskin: Well, there’s only one thing for it…

Rumpelstiltskin: I gotta become RumpleHook…except my hook will obviously be bigger…

Emma: Regina! This is not the time! Get your arse up!

Regina: I am trying to nap here!

Henry: *Singlehandedly pulls her up*

Emma: Rip up the paper already!

Regina: Easy guys, I haven’t had a lot of sleep. I have to take a minute to think logically!

Emma: That’s something you can actually do?
Snow: *Is stunned*

Regina: I have to do all the sacrificing again! Maybe this time it’ll stick!

Henry: Wow, handsy feely…knock it off…

Pan: I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now!


Pan: Surprise! I win…you guys aren’t really good at this, you know that?

Rumpelstiltskin: I’m sure it won’t hurt…just some swiping, blood shooting out of the veins and arteries…bleeding out…world going dark….

Rumpelstiltskin: But I like this hand…it’s my favorite and I don’t want to get my suit dirty…it’s so hard getting blood out of these expensive suits and my dry cleaning is high enough!

Pan: Okay first thing I’m going to do…is put you all in embarrassing positions!

Pan: Have you guys ever seen human centipede?

*Hooks arm changes levels a lot*

*Can’t tell if Bae is frozen or if he’s just bored*



Baelfire: No, man.

Rumpelstiltskin: RUMPLE SLAM!

Rumpelstiltskin: *Misses but tries to play it off*
Hook: My arm is tired!

Pan: I raise my eyebrow at you, good son

Rumpelstiltskin: *Tries to mimic* Ow, it hurts!

Pan: Just admit defeat! I have all your loved ones and I have my own body back and the Dark Curse is coming! Yay for me!

Rumpelstiltskin: Not if I kill you!


Pan: Hmph! You can’t do that! I’m your daddy!

Rumpelstiltskin: Belle, Bae, Emma…I love you guys. I really love you Henry.

Rumpelstiltskin: Snow and Charming are okay. …

Rumpelstiltskin: Regina and Hook can fall in a lobster trap and roll off a cliff for all I care…

Pan: *Giggles* Dude, I was stuck for 300 years with Hook. Trust me, I get it…

Rumpelstiltskin: Imma goin’ out in a blaze of glory, y’all! Name a country after me!

Pan: But you have no magic!

Rumpelstiltskin: I can beat the snot out of you with my brain

Rumpelstiltskin: Dainty wrist call!

Pan: Man…I probably shouldn’t have sat there staring…can’t I get away? Is the shadow possessing me? What’s going on?!

Pan: This is so embarrassing…he’s going to HUG me to death!

Rumpelstiltskin: Considering the nonsensical route this show is going down in the next half of the season, I’m going to end everything for myself now so I don’t have to see it. Thanks daddy! You’ve given me a great opportunity to get out of my contract!

Pan: My heart is on the other side, idiot…
Rumpelstiltskin: I…can’t believe that my blade would be long enough to mortally wound me too…

Rumpelstiltskin: Hey, I’m the one with the broken heart here…



Malcom: I just realized I’m going to die an old man!

*Is super depressed about this development*
Malcom: You know, we could stop this and have a happy ending…

Rumpelstiltskin: I couldn’t even if I wanted to! Dude…I don’t have magic!

Rumpelstiltskin: Also…you’re really close…

Rumpelstiltskin: And if we’re not careful, this will mean something else taken out of context!

Rumpelstiltskin: Well, I’m sure I’m twisting SOMETHING vital here. Hope it’s not all just bone…

Malcom: *Is dead*

Rumpelstiltskin: And for the final middle finger to my father….I’m going to remind him that I loved him…

Rumpelstiltskin: Victory is so sweet!

*Disappears into the light for….some reason…*

Hook: Oh my arm….my arm, I can’t feel my arm! And I need this one! I’m already running low!
Belle: My role revolves around him practically, what am I going to do now?!
Baelfire: Hrm…hold it together man…
Regina: The scroll…can someone get it!
Henry: I don’t want to walk into bits of grandpa!
Emma: Never get frozen with your legs locked in place *Bounces a bit* You can’t feel anything….*tries not to start sobbing hysterically in front of everyone*

Charming: HE DIED?! Who are we going to run to for help now?
Snow: Great. I feel my breakfast coming up…
Emma: *Holds still so she can mentally wail*


Regina: Well I’m not hugging her.

1 comment:

  1. Rumple's categorising of characters was hilarious! Nice to see he kinda likes the Charmings now...