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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Part 2

Charming: Whoa, this magical moonshine still is broken…

Charming: So are these magical potions!

Hook: uh…stuff and paper!

Charming: well, I would definitely say that this place was broken into!

Charming: The knocked over chairs are a bit over the top but that’s Zelena

Hook: Guys! I found a box that clashes with the d├ęcor! Is that a clue? I don’t know what I’m doing!

Charming: *Hangs head* Why did we let you in on CSI Storybrooke?

Charming: Mmm, berries, I’m hungry…

Emma: Uh...Dadvid?

Charming: I’m not going to eat these here, Emma!

Hook: I would…

Charming: These berries….belong in the forest!

Emma: But Robin Hood lives in the forest! *Gasp* Robin Hood is wiping out members of his own Merry Men!
Hook: I don’t think so Emma….

Charming: Oh hey, fatherhood stuff, do you mind if I go handle your mother?

Emma: Aww! Family moments!
Hook: He’s not doing his job! Fire him!

Emma: Excuse me?
Hook: I want a raise, Emma!

Hook: Don’t you think I deserve to be poster boy for CSI Storybrooke?

Emma: Neither of you do.

Hook: Ohhhh…

Charming: *walks away in shame*

Charming: Oh nooo, I forget which saddle is mine!

Charming: Oh hey, random flask, good, I need a drink.

Charming: That is not alcohol….

Robin: That was my kid’s cough medicine, so thanks for that….

Charming: Erm…golden arrows?

Robin: oh, it’s a gift from the queen for…hanging out with her and being completely useless…

Charming: Isn’t gold like…a really soft metal? So like…you’re not gonna get a lot of hunts with that.

Robin: Huh, now maybe I realize that she was insulting me!

Robin: I know this is going to be awkward to ask but…have you seen my kid?

Charming: Um…no?

Robin: I keep misplacing him! Sort of like you do yours!

Charming: I need more…
Robin: Roland’s cough medicine!

Robin: Also my cough medicine because it has cherry flavor…


Charming: Snow is already decorating four nurseries and having the dwarves come up with the best baby names…

Charming: IT’s not that I don’t find that endearing, but I don’t see the point in naming a baby Amadeus Obadiah….and I don’t think I can be a father after losing my first kid

Robin: Sounds rough…

Robin: Now I really feel bad about cleaning out your wealth to give to the peasants…

Charming: Whatever man, my wife will put you in the iron maiden later. I’m going for a ride…

Robin: I didn’t know your wife liked me and Regina together


Snow: And then I beat his face in with a rock when he viciously tackled me off a horse! True love!

Zelena: I can’t wait to hold that kid in my arms!

Snow: I know right? This will be the first one I’ve had that I haven’t had to give up!

Zelena: Sure…sure, why not?

Charming: I’m here! *Looks dashing* Good news! We have learned that the mayor office was DEFINITELY broken into!

Zelena: I’m Zelena the midwife!

Charming: *Drums the table* Well…discussing baby birthing, huh?

Snow: All the gory details!

Zelena: Men everywhere have been known to faint!

Charming: *Faint?!*

Snow: Oh look sweetie! She’s making us tea! We should hire her as our servant!
Charming: I don’t want to faint! We don’t have carpet!

Snow: We’re going to birth our second born just like our firstborn!

Zelena: Happy working soonnng!

Charming: You mean when you cursed my name, broke my hand and screamed out that you should’ve married Rumpelstiltskin?

Snow: Charming, don’t you dare ruin this for me!

Zelena: -ing soooooong!

Charming: I wish we got a midwife that could carry a tune…

Zelena: *Drugs!*

Snow: Huh…Zelena’s putting dirt in Charming’s tea…good for her….even though she’s serving the tea WAY too fast…

Zelena: Here we are! Water with teabags!

Snow: That’s MY cup!

Charming: Not anymore…

Charming: It took me all day and half the night to ride here…hope Snow knows where I am!

Charming: I can’t believe Robin recommended drugs to help me sleep…

Charming: Ugh, this doesn’t look very digestible...maybe he was trolling me….

Rapunzel: HELP! HELP! HELP!


Charming: That’s….a really long climb?

Charming: Well, I have nothing better to do, so I might as well go at it…

Rapunzel: AUGH! *Hears a crashing noise*
Charming: Was that a hubcap rolling?


Charming: Well, nothing wrong with being worried at the screams of agony for the past ten minutes of climbing….

Charming: Fear not maiden! I will rescue yo-

Charming: Ow! Leg cramp!

Rapunzel: ‘sup?

Charming: Uh….what’s all this then?

Rapunzel: Something chased me up here!

Charming: How did you get up here when there are no doors? In THAT dress!?
Rapunzel: It doesn’t matter!

Rapunzel: I’ve been up here for what feels like years!

Charming: Then how did you survive? And where did all this hair come from? Seriously, there’s no well or source of food!

Charming: Oh gross…

Charming: *steps over* Were you here before the curse? Because everything’s frozen in time for the 28 years in the enchanted forest…

Rapunzel: I have hyperactive hair follicles when I get nervous…

Charming: What?

Rapunzel: Seriously, it’s my curse…that and sticky sweat that let me scale to the top of this place.

Charming: That does explain everything

*Are awkward*

Rapunzel: I was really nervous about ruling so I came over here to steal some roots and then a figure chased me up here...

Charming: That’s probably why you should have guards with you or let someone else get it…
Charming: Wait; did you eat the root straight after digging it up?

Rapunzel: It looked delicious!

Charming: I’m about to just leave you…

Rapunzel: What?!

Charming: There’s nothing in it for me! I have a wife and a kid on the way and no Flynn Rider…

Rapunzel: you’d leave me?

Charming: Woman, cut your hair and make a rope.


Charming: Ain’t no one out there.

Charming: Oh hey, someone’s out there…

Cloaked Figure: Imma get you!

Charming: Dude, I could start reeling your hair in….but I don’t care…

Zelena: You’ve been blowing on that for twenty minutes, how about you drink up?

Charming: How about you let me do things at my own pace?

Zelena: Your life motto, is it?

Snow: You should’ve seen him as David Nolan

Charming: SNOW!
Snow: Charming!
Charming: NO one wants to remember that!

Zelena: *Is really sorry she missed it*


Charming: This tea is fantastic! Wheee!

Zelena: Huh…maybe I should’ve put in half a dose….

Charming: Now about this fatherhood thing…

Zelena: I wouldn’t ask me about it; one father figure I had was a drunk who was scared of my….erm…midwifing abilities, the other was a dude I would totally have slept with in a heartbeat…

Snow: Sounds like Rumple…

Charming: ….
Snow: Don’t judge me!

Snow: But I have moved on and am happier for it!

Charming: ….

Zelena: He has that effect on women…

Zelena: He told me once.

Snow: That sounds like him

Snow: This is why I love you more. You’re so sweet and humble

Zelena: D’aww, they have what I should’ve had…

Zelena: *Water is really hot*

Snow: *Has no problem*

Charming: Well, I gotta go do deputy stuff before Hook tries seducing Emma….I still have no idea why we hired him…

*Deputy Duties*

Charming: I’m sure my sword will do great against…someone that can make flying monkeys…

Cloaked Figure: Idiot. I’m you, and I think you’re an idiot…

Charming: I hope those cameras I set up all over the forest got something…

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