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Monday, November 17, 2014

Witch Hunt Part 1

Zelena: Geez, how do her ears stay upright with the weight of these things.

Zelena: Who’s a cute wicked witch? Who’s a cute wicked witch?

Zelena; Oh gurl, you’re sooo clever…

*Monkey talk*

Zelena: Yes, I’m aware that it took me 28 years to finally find Regina’s room after living here for so long; I don’t need your sass!

Zelena *Twirls*

Zelena: oohoho, I’m dizzy!

Zelena: *Gasp* Oh! The corset! What’s up with this corset?!

Zelena: what’s up with these feather things? Geez, Regina has terrible tastes!

*More monkey talk*

Zelena: I know I look gorgeous but I also know you’re the one that does flattery when you want a banana!

Zelena: Well I ate them all!

*Stamps foot*

Regina: No one takes my stuff that I stole first!

Robin: Man, I love that woman!
Belle: She held me against my will for 28 years and then gave me false memories!
Robin: Who cares, did you see that ass?

Baelfire: Aww, his cape swivel is holding us all up but he’s so cute!

Red: Like, bestie, guess who’s going to have her baby in peace now that I don’t have to be on this show anymore?!:


Snow: Let’s trust Regina!

Red: Wh- but I’m back!

Red: For the first time in long time!

Snow: I didn’t…even notice…you were gone…

Red: Typical.

Red: Just typical..

Charming: Rub a dwarf tummy…
Grumpy: Stop it! I told you a thousand times that it doesn’t give you good luck!

Snow: What’s holding up the line?
Regina: How dare the only child in this little group not be mine! I need a Henry replacement NOW!

Snow: Did your mother ever tell you that if you sat there glaring constantly, your face would freeze like that?

Regina: I’m so used to it, I don’t even notice I do it anymore…
Snow: Wow, what a shock…

Regina: Hey, can I do something suicidal yet?

Snow: No?
Regina: But it’s been five minutes!

Regina: Fine, I’m sneaking into my castle and NONE of you get to come in! I have secret entrances!
Snow: That’s troublesome…don’t you worry that people could sneak in?

Regina: Der! My magic holds it closed.
Snow: But your magic isn’t that great…

Regina: Lord, give me strength!


Baelfire: It’s okay guys, I got him!

Baelfire: OW! MY JUGULAR!

Regina: Oh dear! *Runs slowly on high heels because for some reason, no one else can help the kid*

Baelfire: I’m bleeding to death1

*Misses her mark about forty times*

Charming: What just happened?

Snow: What just happened?

Robin: Oh my son!
Roland: Way to watch over me amongst strangers, one of which is a ruthless dictator, dad…

Regina: Is that a kid I see? MINE!

Regina: Here kiddo, have the monkey’s stuffed corpse as your new toy!

Robin: That’s…insanely creepy.

Regina: You should love me; I’m totally a great mom!
Belle: Imprisoned, Robin! In a small room!

Emma: Well, Henry’s still asleep I think. That kid can sleep through anything. I nearly body slammed him on his bed and he didn’t even skip a breath!

Emma: So! What have we all been up to? Anyone murder anyone…

Hook: I might’ve ki-

Snow: No one remembers anything!
Charming: Honestly, I thought Emma might be slightly bothered at this whole thing with the new baby and no memories but all she did is sing “New York, New York” a lot…

Emma: I can’t get it out of my head for some reason…

Snow: Maybe you were happy there!

Charming: What’s there to be happy about there? It was a year of happiness, a year of nothing dangerous going on until our drama came back to ruin it as soon as we arrived! But family’s here! Surely family is much better than safety!

Charming: I wish I had more screen time…to experience it but…I’m sure I’ll get it eventually…

Snow: You’re a cute baby! Yes you are!
Charming: Is no one listening to me?

Hook: I can’t, those extra tight pants are distracting me…

Charming: Well, I have been working out I guess…

Charming: Now onto the problem of the town-

Hook: I have noticed…

Snow: Um…Hook?

Hook: Fine Snow, you can join too

Snow: WHAT?!

Emma: What is everyone talking about?

Hook: Sorry, I lost my self there…

Emma: Wait…are you guys thinking ab out what I think you’re thinking about?

Snow: Normally I’d be honored; I just think a road trip for things that one would have to work out for should be put on hold for a while!  

Hook: That’s not what I’m talking about!

Hook: Fine, I’ll just stick with Emma now.

Emma: But we just TOOK a road trip from New York, New York!

Snow: *GASP* I just got it!

Grumpy: I had a girl on each side, my hands were like this!

Group* ……

Happy: Hey everyone! The curse gave me unlimited texting…

Emma: Everyone has unlimited texting!

Emma: Wait a minute! Where’s Neal?

Charming: I don’t know, he’s probably off wearing scarves and falling down portals or something…

Emma: We should probably get on finding him….

Snow: Emma, one catastrophe at a time! First we have to find out what the entire town must tell Henry so he doesn’t get mighty suspicious when a giant or flying monkey goes past his window.

Emma: Sounds boring! I’m going to go take a forgetting potion that says I liked plaid.

Snow: But we want to hear what you’ve been up to for a year!

Emma: *ignoring her because how do you explain to your mom that you slept with the Wizard of Oz?* Or that that chair matches the wallpaper?

Regina: I refuse to keep moving, those monkeys attacked me twice!

Snow: We could use Regina as bait!

Grumpy: Yes! That’s’ what I was thinking!
Snow: This whole time she’s talking about taking the best rooms for her apartments and I can’t let that happen again!

Regina: Rooted on the spot!

Regina: At least until my feet start hurting in these heels…

Baelfire: Hey, thanks for stitching my wound and giving me a blood transfusion while everyone was freaking out, Belle.

Belle: No problem, I had to learn quickly when Rumple decided that he wanted to pick up the random hobby of knife throwing and kept stabbing himself.

Regina: My feet are already hurting…and did I lose a jewel from this necklace?!
Belle: Your dad is really queasy around blood…I wouldn’t have thought that about him…

Regina: I’m sorry, are you not focusing on me?
Belle: I don’t focus on the people that make my life miserable Regina…

Regina: You act like that’s not half the cast now…

Snow: I don’t even know who Belle is……

Regina: I don’t even know who any of these people are! Can I just go drop the shield or not?! 

Regina: Or do I have to start throwing Dwarves at it to get my way?
Grumpy: ….

Grumpy: Not it…

Charming: Hey, you could be just going into the shielded area to hide from the flying monkeys while we all get eaten!

Regina: *Charming realized her plan* Shut up Charming! When you have as much centrics as I do, then you can complain!

Snow: Hey! Be nice, we’re only trying to help! How do you know there’s not a whole nest of flying Monkeys in there waiting to kill you because that’s where they made their home?

Regina: *Didn’t think about that*

Snow: Maybe you should drop the shield so we can all fight!

Snow: You know…since you can only throw one fireball at a time…

*Stomps off*

Robin: Dat ass! I should leave my kid and go with her…
Roland: Dad, I almost got eaten by a flying monkey…
Robin: Oh, who cares?

Red: Drink it…drink it all

Red: I have triplets by the way! All girls! My husband and I haven’t slept a wink! He calls them our little litter! He’s so cute!

Red: Lalalalalala!

Rudo: I don’t even LIKE this sort of cinnamon! And how do you know I like cinnamon?
Emma: Don’t be rude, Rudo…

Red: I have baby pictures!

*Goes to find her phone to show them*

Emma: Good to know that she hasn’t changed at all!

Snow: Henry! You hit puberty!

Rudo: Excuse you, my name is RUDO.

Charming: GRANDSON!

Rudo: This is your way of making me meet my grandparents, I KNEW it!

Emma: NO! I totally knew them from jail!

Emma: Snow was involved in….

Rudo: I hope it’s cool!

Rudo: Impress me, woman!

Snow: I was an international spy. They got me on taxes.

Emma: Er…what?

Rudo: Coooool!

Snow: So! Now about some situations…those situations being my cravings…

Rudo: Did you kill people?!

Emma: *Is talking behind her hand* Say no, say no, say no!

Charming: Only non-important people!


Rudo: My…my name…my name is Rudolph…

Regina: You were named after the father I murdered! Not a red nosed reindeer!

Rudo: Rude, I’m named after Rudolph Valentino

Emma: He doesn’t remember you, Regina.

Regina: Well, whatever happened, I’m sure it’s your fault!


  1. Oh gawd, your Regina is killing me!
    Well, I've seen a bit of Season 4 and it looks really good to be honest. I like that the characters are relevant again(except Charming and Snow "I'm comic relief now" White). I actually have started to like Hook better than Rumple these last few episodes.
    But yeah, Regina can still drop dead. And the recurring characters are useless whiners now. Mostly though, the Frozen season rocks.

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