Zelena: Geez, how do her ears stay upright with the weight of these things.
Zelena: Who’s a cute wicked witch? Who’s a cute wicked witch?
Zelena; Oh gurl, you’re sooo clever…
Zelena: Yes, I’m aware that it took me 28 years to finally find Regina’s room after living here for so long; I don’t need your sass!
Zelena: oohoho, I’m dizzy!
Zelena: *Gasp* Oh! The corset! What’s up with this corset?!
Zelena: what’s up with these feather things? Geez, Regina has terrible tastes!
*More monkey talk*
Zelena: I know I look gorgeous but I also know you’re the one that does flattery when you want a banana!
Zelena: Well I ate them all!
Regina: No one takes my stuff that I stole first!
Robin: Man, I love that woman!
Belle: She held me against my will for 28 years and then gave me false memories!
Robin: Who cares, did you see that ass?
Baelfire: Aww, his cape swivel is holding us all up but he’s so cute!
Red: Like, bestie, guess who’s going to have her baby in peace now that I don’t have to be on this show anymore?!:
Red: SPOILERS! ME AND JEFFERSON ARE TOTES HAVING BABIES!
Snow: Let’s trust Regina!
Red: Wh- but I’m back!
Red: For the first time in long time!
Snow: I didn’t…even notice…you were gone…
Red: Just typical..
Charming: Rub a dwarf tummy…
Grumpy: Stop it! I told you a thousand times that it doesn’t give you good luck!
Snow: What’s holding up the line?
Regina: How dare the only child in this little group not be mine! I need a Henry replacement NOW!
Snow: Did your mother ever tell you that if you sat there glaring constantly, your face would freeze like that?
Regina: I’m so used to it, I don’t even notice I do it anymore…
Snow: Wow, what a shock…
Regina: Hey, can I do something suicidal yet?
Regina: But it’s been five minutes!
Regina: Fine, I’m sneaking into my castle and NONE of you get to come in! I have secret entrances!
Snow: That’s troublesome…don’t you worry that people could sneak in?
Regina: Der! My magic holds it closed.
Snow: But your magic isn’t that great…
Regina: Lord, give me strength!
Charming: PROTECT MY CAPE!
Baelfire: It’s okay guys, I got him!
Baelfire: OW! MY JUGULAR!
Roland: PETTING TIME AT THE ZOO!
Regina: Oh dear! *Runs slowly on high heels because for some reason, no one else can help the kid*
Baelfire: I’m bleeding to death1
*Misses her mark about forty times*
Charming: What just happened?
Snow: What just happened?
Robin: Oh my son!
Roland: Way to watch over me amongst strangers, one of which is a ruthless dictator, dad…
Regina: Is that a kid I see? MINE!
Regina: Here kiddo, have the monkey’s stuffed corpse as your new toy!
Robin: That’s…insanely creepy.
Regina: You should love me; I’m totally a great mom!
Belle: Imprisoned, Robin! In a small room!
Emma: Well, Henry’s still asleep I think. That kid can sleep through anything. I nearly body slammed him on his bed and he didn’t even skip a breath!
Emma: So! What have we all been up to? Anyone murder anyone…
Hook: I might’ve ki-
Snow: No one remembers anything!
Charming: Honestly, I thought Emma might be slightly bothered at this whole thing with the new baby and no memories but all she did is sing “New York, New York” a lot…
Emma: I can’t get it out of my head for some reason…
Snow: Maybe you were happy there!
Charming: What’s there to be happy about there? It was a year of happiness, a year of nothing dangerous going on until our drama came back to ruin it as soon as we arrived! But family’s here! Surely family is much better than safety!
Charming: I wish I had more screen time…to experience it but…I’m sure I’ll get it eventually…
Snow: You’re a cute baby! Yes you are!
Charming: Is no one listening to me?
Hook: I can’t, those extra tight pants are distracting me…
Charming: Well, I have been working out I guess…
Charming: Now onto the problem of the town-
Hook: I have noticed…
Hook: Fine Snow, you can join too
Emma: What is everyone talking about?
Hook: Sorry, I lost my self there…
Emma: Wait…are you guys thinking ab out what I think you’re thinking about?
Snow: Normally I’d be honored; I just think a road trip for things that one would have to work out for should be put on hold for a while!
Hook: That’s not what I’m talking about!
Hook: Fine, I’ll just stick with Emma now.
Emma: But we just TOOK a road trip from New York, New York!
Snow: *GASP* I just got it!
Grumpy: I had a girl on each side, my hands were like this!
Happy: Hey everyone! The curse gave me unlimited texting…
Emma: Everyone has unlimited texting!
Emma: Wait a minute! Where’s Neal?
Charming: I don’t know, he’s probably off wearing scarves and falling down portals or something…
Emma: We should probably get on finding him….
Snow: Emma, one catastrophe at a time! First we have to find out what the entire town must tell Henry so he doesn’t get mighty suspicious when a giant or flying monkey goes past his window.
Emma: Sounds boring! I’m going to go take a forgetting potion that says I liked plaid.
Snow: But we want to hear what you’ve been up to for a year!
Emma: *ignoring her because how do you explain to your mom that you slept with the Wizard of Oz?* Or that that chair matches the wallpaper?
Regina: I refuse to keep moving, those monkeys attacked me twice!
Snow: We could use Regina as bait!
Grumpy: Yes! That’s’ what I was thinking!
Snow: This whole time she’s talking about taking the best rooms for her apartments and I can’t let that happen again!
Regina: Rooted on the spot!
Regina: At least until my feet start hurting in these heels…
Baelfire: Hey, thanks for stitching my wound and giving me a blood transfusion while everyone was freaking out, Belle.
Belle: No problem, I had to learn quickly when Rumple decided that he wanted to pick up the random hobby of knife throwing and kept stabbing himself.
Regina: My feet are already hurting…and did I lose a jewel from this necklace?!
Belle: Your dad is really queasy around blood…I wouldn’t have thought that about him…
Regina: I’m sorry, are you not focusing on me?
Belle: I don’t focus on the people that make my life miserable Regina…
Regina: You act like that’s not half the cast now…
Snow: I don’t even know who Belle is……
Regina: I don’t even know who any of these people are! Can I just go drop the shield or not?!
Regina: Or do I have to start throwing Dwarves at it to get my way?
Grumpy: Not it…
Charming: Hey, you could be just going into the shielded area to hide from the flying monkeys while we all get eaten!
Regina: *Charming realized her plan* Shut up Charming! When you have as much centrics as I do, then you can complain!
Snow: Hey! Be nice, we’re only trying to help! How do you know there’s not a whole nest of flying Monkeys in there waiting to kill you because that’s where they made their home?
Regina: *Didn’t think about that*
Snow: Maybe you should drop the shield so we can all fight!
Snow: You know…since you can only throw one fireball at a time…
Robin: Dat ass! I should leave my kid and go with her…
Roland: Dad, I almost got eaten by a flying monkey…
Robin: Oh, who cares?
Red: Drink it…drink it all
Red: I have triplets by the way! All girls! My husband and I haven’t slept a wink! He calls them our little litter! He’s so cute!
Rudo: I don’t even LIKE this sort of cinnamon! And how do you know I like cinnamon?
Emma: Don’t be rude, Rudo…
Red: I have baby pictures!
*Goes to find her phone to show them*
Emma: Good to know that she hasn’t changed at all!
Snow: Henry! You hit puberty!
Rudo: Excuse you, my name is RUDO.
Rudo: This is your way of making me meet my grandparents, I KNEW it!
Emma: NO! I totally knew them from jail!
Emma: Snow was involved in….
Rudo: I hope it’s cool!
Rudo: Impress me, woman!
Snow: I was an international spy. They got me on taxes.
Snow: So! Now about some situations…those situations being my cravings…
Rudo: Did you kill people?!
Emma: *Is talking behind her hand* Say no, say no, say no!
Charming: Only non-important people!
Regina: HENRY! YOU’VE COME BACK TO ME! I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!
Rudo: My…my name…my name is Rudolph…
Regina: You were named after the father I murdered! Not a red nosed reindeer!
Rudo: Rude, I’m named after Rudolph Valentino
Emma: He doesn’t remember you, Regina.
Regina: Well, whatever happened, I’m sure it’s your fault!