Hook: So then we all zipped back to the Enchanted forest and….let me tell you something Emma, there were a lot of ladies in corsets…
Hook: Hey, where’s the kid?
Emma: I dunno, at a friend’s house or something...you can sleep in his bed.
Hook: Could sleep in yours.
Emma: No man, I sleep naked…
Hook: *Chokes on his drink*
Emma: So…are my parents okay?
Hook: Well see…that’s sort of a problem…
Emma: What about Neal?
Hook: Uh….I don’t know?
Hook: Wait, who is Jiminy?! Is he someone else I have to fight for you?!
Emma: Is there anyone you know about?
Hook: I’m alive and kicking!
Emma: Hook, I can see you. I know you're alive.
Hook: Anyway, I might’ve sort have abandoned everyone the moment I got a horse and supplies…so I don’t really know their ‘live’ status….
Emma: Oh yeah, what were you up to?
Hook: Crap! She asked the one question I hoped she wouldn’t!
Hook: I was meeting Disney princesses and foreclosing on the tenants that moved into my house!
Hook: How about we just don’t ask, okay?
*Awkward silence for an hour*
Walsh: Emma….are you indecent?
Hook: Who is THAT?!
Emma: Oh, it’s my actual boyfriend…
Hook: It’s okay Emma; I’ll go kill him so you don’t have to!
Emma: That’s not how we do things here, Hook. I have to break it off with him. Go hide in the closet!
Hook: *Hopes that going to the closet to hide won’t reveal that he broke into her apartment earlier to scope it out*
Hook: Hey! Hey! Tell him you have a new boyfriend.
Emma: Ew, no, why would I do that?
Hook: She doesn’t get it!
Walsh: This isn’t as romantic as I thought it’d end up being…
Emma: We have a roof here?
Emma: So I brought you all the way up here to tell you that I’m leaving this place and moving to Maine.
Emma: Family drama, you know….
Emma: And I can’t take you with me because Bae did that to Tamara and look how that went….
Walsh: I thought you didn’t have family….
Emma: Well they just happened to pop up after you proposed…I don’t know, it’s weird.
Walsh: This is your roundabout way of saying ‘no’ isn’t it?
Walsh: Oooo, like a kick to the gut!
Emma: Yeah, I’m sucked into family drama once again….
Walsh: Now I’m just going to have to go evil on your ass
Emma: Not surprising…sort of expected it really….
Emma: To be fair, you weren’t very convincing.
Emma: I mean I already have two love interests, why would they want to oversaturate it with a third that isn't Rumple? Therefore, you must be evil….
Walsh: Well, you’re going to be…so surprised when you find out that I’m in on everything!
Emma: Okay, who are you; let’s just get it over with. Who are you?
Walsh: I’m the wizard of Oz
Emma: Ooookay, sure you are. Uh huh. I slept with the wizard of Oz…
Walsh: I don’t want to show my true form to you!
Walsh: It’s embarrassing!
Emma: Wait! I’m not over on the edge of the building yet…let me get into position….there we go…
Walsh: *Blatantly misses* AIIEEEEEE!
Emma: Dude, you made me get wet leaves on my plaid pants of indecision!
Emma: EMMA SWAN WITH A CROWBAR ON THE ROOF!
Walsh: *Sings* I forgot I could fly!
Emma: Wait…I was sleeping with a flying monkey?
Hook: Hey! What’s going on?
Emma: Thanks for your non-help Hook.
Hook: I was going to listen in but no one would let me in their apartments so I could open a window…
Emma: Dude, I think I just might have killed the Wizard of Oz.
Emma: Ugh, I can’t believe I have to stop somewhere to buy a whole new wardrobe…
Rudo: So I’m guessing from how you stormed into my friend’s house at three in the morning to get me and bring me home to pack my things, your date didn’t go well….
Emma: He um….he fell for me…
Rudo: I heard they had to cart a whole bunch of people away because they were claiming that a flying monkey was flapping around this place and then sort of…disappeared…
Emma: Eat your breakfast.
Rudo: You haven’t served it yet! Did I honestly miss a flying monkey?
Emma: Oh don’t worry Henry, you’re about to see one up close and personal.
*Doesn’t get it*
Emma: Also you and I are going to Maine.
Rudo: A vacation? But why can’t we go somewhere warm?
Emma: Because mama….wants to figure out what happened that made her black out and end up there, a year ago, that’s why.
Emma: Oh for God’s sake Hook, have you been sitting there in that pose all night?
Hook: Hey Kid, how about a hug?
Rudo: He doesn’t look like a flying monkey…
Hook: *Is offended*
Emma: I have to go get something, try not to act less mature than my twelve year old.
Rudo: Mooom! Stranger Danger…wait is this the guy that you told me to call the police on if he was near me?
Hook: Oh, I love the shine on this floor…
Emma: Crap, I just realized I’m going to be in the car with Hook for HOURS
Emma: Might as well suit up…
Emma: Huh, it’s all here. But now with jacked up prices...
Hook: I can’t believe you made me sit in the back the whole way there.’
Emma: This place….hasn’t changed at all.
Hook: *checks out*
Hook: Hey, I don’t have money; do you think you could pay for me to stay at the inn? I slept in benches in New York; I need a comfortable bed…
Emma: As long as it’s not mine…
Hook: *More checks out*
Emma: The cops let you keep that?
Hook: It was a lady cop that frisked me….
Hook: She was a redhead. Hey how about I wake up Henry and wave with this? It’ll be hilarious!
Emma: You will do nothing of the sort, but I WILL leave him alone with you in a strange place to go talk to my parents who may not remember me. That’ll be safe, right?
Emma: Now that I think it…probably no…
Emma: If you sell out this one to a psychopath, we’re not talking anymore!
Hook: Hey! As long as you never find out about that, the happier we all are!
Hook: You could’ve parked closer to your house….
Emma: Oh, this doorknocker…
Charming: I just put in the order, how can they already be her- whoa!
Emma: OH hey, you don’t know me but I’m your daughter!
Charming: MAH BABY!
Emma: Oh…he believed that one easier than I thought…
Charming: Pumpkin pie…I totally don’t know where I’ve been for the past year…do you think that’ll get me out of any speeding tickets I might have?
Charming: Where’s Henry?
Emma: Oh I left him with Hook.
Charming: YOU WHAT?!
Emma: Probably not my best decision, I’ll wager, but….
Charming: we don’t remember anything of this past year!
Emma: Ugh, Magic, always complicating everything that should just be straightforward…
Emma: Whoa there Mary Momgret, did you get super speed powers?
Snow: I can explain…
Charming: Oh yeah, we never discussed how you were going to take that….
Snow: You think that’s shocking, try not remembering that you made the kid…
Emma: So this kid is going to get everything I never got growing up?
Emma: Oh wait, I’m not going to focus on that…NEW YORK!
Zelena: *Takes little steps* I can’t get very far in this dress…
Zelena: Did you do what I wanted?
Wizard of Oz: I got it all right here.
Wizard of Oz: Where’s my fifty bucks?
Zelena: Yes, let the blood fall from your poo throwing claws…
Zelena: Geez monkey, you have to calm down…
Zelena: No, I’m not going to give you a treat. .
Wizard of Oz: evil!
Zelena: No, I’m wicked and wicked always wins.
Wizard of Oz: Evil and Wicked are the same thing!
Zelena: No they’re not! Shut up!