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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Witch Hunt Part 2

Regina: Henry looks HAPPY?! What on earth did that idiot do to him?

Emma: I let him out of the house to have friends every once in a while..

Regina: what sort of mother are you?! Now I have to clean up your mess!

Emma: He doesn’t remember you….

Regina: That doesn’t matter! He’s going to live with me now!

Emma: I don’t think he’ll like that

Regina: I’ll dangle a puppet in front of him that asks if he wants to play and then when I get him in the house, I”ll lock him in his room and make him mine!

Emma: Not how that works Regina…

Regina: Well then we’ll just have to make him remember me!

Regina: And in taking him, I shall destroy your happiness!

Emma: Calm down!

Regina: Sorry. Habit. *Is not sorry* 

Little John: Dating Mina Harker at the hunting store gets me all the best supplies to try out!

Robin: It’s freezing cold here, I was sort of hoping when we all woke up in this place, we’d be able to find a house with heat to squat at.

Little John: Aw yisss!
Friar Tuck: Careful John, that could be someone or someone’s pet!

Friar Tuck: Wow, you’re terrible. How did you survive in the woods all this long?
Little John: My good looks…

Little John: Imma kill you, turkey!

Robin: Not Little John’s bloodlust! We have to cool it before he goes on another rampage!

Robin: *Is gasping* I really need to get into shape again…

Little John: AIIIEEEEE!

Robin: Oh no…the crossbow went with him….

Robin: So, I think Little John was carried over the line. Does it still count if it’s high in the air? I mean what happens in this new curse if we cross?

Charming: My leather jacket and I are puzzled.
Hook: He wore leather for me!

Charming: A flying monkey you say? I’m so puzzled! Who is linked to the flying monkey?

Robin: Are you guys going to stop this? I have a kid running around somewhere!

Hook: Hey a flying monkey, just like your fiancé
Charming: Fian-what?

Hook: Whoops, was I not supposed to say anything?
Charming: What fiancé?!

Charming: No one tells me anything…

Emma: This isn’t the time!

Hook: When is the time? You threw him off a roof Emma, I think we should all talk about your feelings! Mostly your feelings about me!

Emma: I’m going home!

Emma: Wow, this town was a lot smaller than I remember…

Emma: Show of two hands, who wants pizza?

Jiminy: The rest of the town is outside getting a stake ready to burn Regina. Just a quick question, if we already know she’s a witch, do we have to do that drowning test thing?

Regina: *gasp!* Everyone thinks I did it?

Grumpy: Happy totally thinks she did it.
Happy: It’s true.

Belle: I want access to the library! Jiminy and I are going to grieve Rumple by having a read off of bad books. It’s what he’d want

Emma: Well…you um…do that.

Regina: I can’t believe everyone’s so suspicious that I had something to do with this!

Grumpy: Well didn’t you?!

Regina: Probably. How should I know?

Regina: I mean I don’t remember anything either!


Regina: Oh geez, spend years terrorizing you in one world and then 28 years forcing you to do what I want in another and you never live it down!

Jiminy: I’m sure you had a good reason like…wanting to see the Hunger games movies or something….it’s okay, you can tell us! We’ll all understand if it’s the Hunger Games!
 Belle: *Doesn’t believe him* *Would rather have a read off than be here*

Regina: What?! You don’t believe me?!

Emma: You are totes mighty suspicious, Regina

Regina: Oh God, I have to end this before anyone realizes that Emma is acting…drama class was clearly not her strong suit…

Regina: Wow! How dare you all be mad at me getting away with casting the first curse and possibly a second!

*makes the building shake*

Regina: So you take that! *Glare infinitum*

Grumpy: That’s it, the town is under martial law with us being the ‘martial’

Victor: I can’t be in shaking buildings when I’m the only doctor!

Zelena: Tee hee, no one knows it’s me!

Regina: I should summon a sidewalk!

Regina: Oh man, I really hope this is the right boulder this time!

Regina: Maybe I can make it touch the sky!

Robin: Regina, that rock is floating!

Regina: Is that what you say about islands when you  see them?

Robin: My kid started doing kid things and I don’t like being around that, can I hang out?

Regina: Might as well. It’s not like I can teleport you back or something…

Regina: I loathe flirting commoners..

Robin: Can you go first though? I don’t have magic and you have traps. I hate traps

Robin: Especially scorpion pits, you don’t have one of those do you?

Regina: Uh….

Regina: How do I tell him that I don’t even remember all the traps I had down there and I was hoping to send him d own there first to spring all of them?

Robin: How about out loud? Like you just did?

Regina: Awkward….

Regina: I’m going first.
Robin: Yeah, how about you do that.

Regina: *Crawls out from under the desk* Is it safe?

Regina: I don’t know who’s been living in this office but they really need to dust under there. I hit my head trying to avoid the dust bunnies.

Emma: Yeah, no one thought you were stupid enough to hide in here.

Regina: Awesome!

Regina: *Tears up* Wait! You called me stupid!

Emma: Good news Regina, the angry mob that’s after you lit a bonfire on the other side of the town, so we’re safe for now!

Regina: Go wear that hideous shirt somewhere else, I’m busy!

Emma: Says the person who is wearing tacky couch upholstery….

Regina: What?! You drank it all?! What am I supposed to do with this?!

Emma: Hook told me to!

Emma: Which sounds…really stupid now…

Regina: We all make mistakes. Dating him in Neverland was one of mine…

Emma: Is it dating if he didn’t want anything to do with you?

Regina: details! Now are you going to be quiet and let me work?

Emma: Aw, we’re such friends!

Regina: what is that noise coming out of your mouth?

Emma: That we’re buddies?

Regina: …

Regina: Get out of my office.

Emma: It doesn’t have your name on it anymore!

Emma: *Smirks*


Regina: *Is murdering her with her mind*


  1. Hey, what do you think of Season 4? I know you hated the last two and I kinda did too, so I was wondering...
    *translation: OH EM GEE ISN'T SEASON 4 EPIC?!?!*
    ... if you managed to at least platonically to get into the events.
    *translation: I totally ship Emma/Hook now. Suck it, Neal and your realistic chemistry with her.*

  2. Oh, I have so much to catch up to. I love the way you loathe the character that I love and make her so entertaining in ways that should be so tragic.

    Also, I second Rushy's question. The Snow Queen actually sacrificed herself. And she realized she was crazy and admitted responsibility. And then she solved everything. I'm blaming all her mistakes on the writers, just like I do with Rumple's.