Little John: Man, I could milk this for all it’s worth when I’m recovering…
Robin: Where’s Roland?!
Little John: Oh man! I left him with the friar!
Robin: Friar Tuck is a TERRIBLE father figure!
Friar Tuck: Guys, I’m right here…
Robin: Oh hey Little John, you never told us about your tail!
Little John: My greatest shame, revealed!
Victor: A human with a monkey tail. Grossgrossgrossgross…
Friar Tuck: I can get that promotion I’ve been waiting for years now!
Victor: A wereflyingmonkey?
Little John: Yyooooo!
Little John: Freeeedoommm! Woohoo!
Victor: Everyone saw that, right?
Charming: YES, Victor. You’re not drunk this time.
Charming: YES, Victor. You’re not drunk this time.
Regina: Man I’m bored!
Emma: It’s been twenty minutes!
Emma: I do this for hours.
Regina: That would waste the time I use glaring at people.
Regina: Where do you pee?
Emma: Anywhere really…
Regina: *Mind blown*
Emma: Ugh, why do I even talk to you?
Regina: I just realized that Henry might be happy with you!
Emma: I know it’s a terrible thing to think about but he had friends.
Regina: I knew you’d screw him up. He’s only supposed to love me.
Emma: I wish we had a scene where you actually realized that it’s good for Henry to have other people in his life…
Regina: *Sniffles* What a sweet thing to say! I want more screen time too!
Emma: You get enough! I didn’t say anything remotely like that!
Regina: Peasant. I know what you meant.
Emma: Not that!
Regina: *Narrows eyes* I said you want me to have more screen time.
Emma: *Sigh* Whatever Regina…
Emma: *gasp* Someone’s in there!
Regina: Oh, that’s just the janitor…
Emma: It could be an evil janitor!
Regina: I don’t even…ugh…someone cast a Dark Curse! What’s your rinky dink gun going to do?
Emma: Duh, Regina. Shoot them.
Regina: My still! How will I drink away my troubles with magical moonshine now?!
Emma: *Finally notices her* “HEY YOU!
Regina: Wow, we were ineffectual.
Regina: You could’ve shot her
Emma: You said my gun wouldn’t work!
Regina: How dull, and what a tacky color…
Regina: Huh…never done this before…shouldn’t be too hard…
Regina: Stupid shield that I may or may not have put in place!
Regina: Nice and warm though…My hands are freezing.
Regina: Huh. All that magic and what it took to stop it was knocking the whole thing over…
Grumpy: Why do I have to see the mostly transparent barrier late at night?
Grumpy: This kingdom is mine!
Charming: *Is exasperated* Grumpy’s going mad with power again…
Snow: I JUST sat down!
Baelfire: I’m still feeling weak from the blood loss…
Baelfire: *Twirls sword* But I’m still ready to take the castle in a fight we never get!
Regina: They better get here soon. I need servants to clean this place up while I’m in a coma…
Regina: Welp! At least I’ll have a view…and hope I don’t pass out and break my skull open…
Regina: Goodbye cruel world! Always know that I was the only victim in it!
Zelena: Who turned my nightlight of- oh hey, you’re finally here!
Regina: Someone LIVES here?!
Zelena: Uh, yeah, who else do you think set up the barrier?
Regina: Well, you LEFT the back door open! Don’t you know how to lock that! Anyone could get in!
Zelena: You mean like that pirate that inexplicably got in once?
Regina: He scaled the palace.
Zelena: He walked through the front door!
Regina: Maybe he did! I don’t know, I was napping!
Zelena: I am your sister!
Regina: Whhaaaa? No wait, I’m not buying it…
Zelena: *Sighs* How else could I crash in your palace and steal your clothes? Just like real sisters do!
Zelena: While ultimately looking better in them!
Regina: You do not!
Zelena: Is that envy I smell? Green isn’t as good a color on you as it is on me!
Regina: How come I never saw you growing up?
Zelena: I was hard to spot. I blended in with the trees!
Regina: Is your dad Rumple? Oh please God, tell me it’s not Rumple…
Zelena: Fortunately not.
Regina: Oh thank God! That’s another theory jossed…
Regina: Then that means you’re not my sister because who else on earth would have sex with our mom?
Zelena: I’m going to take everything you didn’t deserve!
Regina: If you’re more powerful than me, then why can’t you just summon everything you never got?
Zelena: It’s…the principal of the matter or something. I don’t know…
Regina: You do realize that Cora was actually a REALLY terrible mother in such a way that only Peter Pan beat her out in this universe, right?
Zelena: Pish posh, you got everything you ever wanted while I didn’t. I deserved an abusive mother and a hole in my heart curse wielding right, not you!
Zelena: DON’T QUESTION MY LOGIC! *GUTPUNCHES*
Regina: Ow, my corset saved most of my ribs!
*How are those hedges still neatly trimmed?*
Zelena: I’m going to destroy everything you ever had!
Regina: Well, I hate to give you spoilers but in doing so, I’ll be the person to lose the least in this storyline…
Zelena: Heeey, don’t question my methods!
Regina: Listen to me since I only react impulsively, your plan needs some work, that’s all I’m saying…
Zelena: I’m taller than you!
Regina: How petty, I’m going to go put myself in a coma just to spite you
Zelena: No! I want to have a rivalry!
Regina: That’s an idea. I’ll post a poll and we’ll both pose in front of a green screen.
Zelena: But no one will see me!
Regina: *Laughing* That’s the idea!
Regina: Maybe eyes and a couple of lips but that’s it!
Zelena: *Is fuming*
Zelena: NO wait, I’m better than this!
Regina: No way are you on a higher moral plane than I am…
Zelena: I haven’t committed near the atrocities that you have and it feels so gooooood!
Zelena: Aw yeahhh!
Zelena: This is your face right now
Regina: I don’t look anything like that!
Zelena: You look so much more inferior…
Zelena: *Pulls broomstick out from under her dress* See ya!
Zelena: I ate all your ice cream bars!
Regina: Yeah! You better run!
Regina: I guess I sure showed her!
Regina: Oh hi Robin, I forgot I melded your feet to the floor!
Robin: Make up your mind woman; I thought you were going to put yourself in a coma!
Regina: Things change
Regina: I totally met my sister and we had a bonding experience!
Robin: That’s great!
Regina: *Squees* And now I’m going to have something I haven’t had in a long time! Like a little over a week!
Regina: I’m gonna destroy her good!
Robin: Erm….love interest! Yay?
Regina: I can’t wait to insult everyone in there!
Emma: That’s not why I brought you!
Regina: That’s why I brought me…
Emma: Henry! Stop playing Pac Man and get up!
Snow: Hope Regina’s not here to find new places to hide murder weapons and set me up…
Regina: Don’t give me any ideas….
Emma: Hi Rudo!
Rudo: mom! Where’s your plaid?
Emma: Plaid reminds me of Walsh, come here and meet the woman that ruined my life.
Regina: *His name is RUDO!*
Rudo: Is she mute?
Regina: Most wish that.
Rudo: Oh…so hi then…
Regina: Want to come live with me? I’ll only lock you in the house 6 days a week!
Emma: I should’ve known this would be a bad idea…
Regina: You’d bet Saturday night free but that’s it!
Rudo: I’m fine, thanks
Regina: Ungrateful, just ungrateful!
Emma: So he doesn’t remember!
Regina: Well make him remember!
Emma: I’m sure I’ll want that later…
Charming: Is Henry conveniently gone? We need to talk about the flying monkey problem
Hook: I’m just trailing everyone around…
Emma: Ixnay on the onkeymay!
Snow: Little John turned into a flying monkey?!
Snow: I was going to hire him to be my bodyguard!
Hook: Yeah, Robin’s still trying to find his kid…and hoping Little John doesn’t divulge all the secrets that Robin told him about…
Emma: What’d you guys do to this one?
Charming: Hey, we haven’t really made anyone mad since season one…
Regina: You guys made me mad in season 2 a lot!
Snow: Regina, you kept making yourself mad…
Emma: I SLEPT WITH THE WIZARD OF OZ, YOU GUYS
Hook: And a flying monkey!
Emma: EWWW! NO!
Zelena: Ah yes, good thing I slaughtered everyone that lives here….
Zelena: Ugh, Imp in a cage smells terrible…
Zelena: Yo! Shape up! I got you rice!
Zelena: Aww, he’s so cute when he sleeps…
Rumpelstiltskin: What? What’s going on?
Rumpelstiltskin: Where’s my cheeseburger?! This isn’t what I ordered from room service?
Zelena: Aw, he’s so cute when he’s disoriented…which is a lot…
Rumpelstiltskin: Can I at least have a brush?
Zelena: Eat your darn dinner!
Rumpelstiltskin: Just…it’s not even cooked!
Rumpelstiltskin: *Magic flavor*
Rumpelstiltskin: Yay! It didn’t work! *is crazy*
Rumpelstiltskin: *Does the airplane game to himself*