Charming: I’m so lost in this place, I can’t even….
Charming: this is the last time I let Regina talk me into playing Hide and Seek …
Charming: And then agreeing that she can use magic…
Charming: Aw maaaaan, this is the wrong room! The nursery is in the OTHER castle!
Charming: OR maybe this is Regina’s room sine she’s a friggin’ baby… *Is imitating* Oh Charming! I don’t like that you make me sleep outside!
Charming: I’m soooo confused right now…
Charming: Ooo! Mobile!
Charming: Emma! You’re too big to fit in the crib!
Emma: I’m a little old for the crib…
Emma: Dance with me! It’s my first ball!
Charming: Emma, we’ve been through this….you’re not here and you’re far too old for me to present you at your first ball without people talking. And I don’t know how to dance…
Charming: And I wouldn’t exactly call what you kids do these days as dancing…
Charming: No wait! I wasn’t ready!
Emma: Take my hand delicately.
Charming: Arm-wrestling! That I CAN do!
Charming: Ha, you think you can beat me! I used to arm-wrestle with grizzly bears!
Emma: *Tries to punch so she can win*
Charming: Correct posture! Stop bending my thumb back!
Emma: *Attempted throat judo chop*
Emma: Thanks for not keeping me safe, dad!
Charming: Hey, every time I wanted time to ourselves, they cut it!
Charming: Oh crap, does making the savior mad summon the weather?
*Little pieces fly off and embed in Charming’s face*
Charming: Emma, I think I’m the one doing all the heavy lifting in this relationship!
Charming: My shoulders have dislocated! Augh, the agony!
Emma: Dad, I’ve taken all our life saving s out of the bank and hidden it. And the hiding place is called-
Charming: Your nails are still in my hands!
Charming: Why do I eat chili before going to bed? It never works out!
Charming: Oh no, is Snow already awake? I’ll bet she’ll think I slept all day!
Snow: Hey honey! Are you sleeping all day?
Charming: No? But where are the dwarves? I want my breakfast in bed!
Snow: Charming, its noon. Man, you act like governing a bunch of people who are probably at odds with each other now is hard work
Charming: Can I use your robe? I’m cold…
Snow: Charming! I’m pregnant!
Charming: Wait, you didn’t already know that?
Charming: Your baby bump! It’s hardly concealed! I thought everyone knew!
Charming: Friggin’ Flying Monkeys man. The supermarket jacked up all the prices of bananas…
Hook: They appear out of nowhere just to throw poo at me!
Regina: Zelena might steal my favorite color of black!
Hook: *siiigh* I thought “I” did that!
Regina: Where is Henry anyway?
Emma: On the swing set outside or something, I don’t know!
Regina: How dare you not keep an eye on him! I’m going to go do vague things!
Hook: Snooow, they’re fighting again.
Snow: I’m too busy wearing a Shrek colored dress; I refuse to partake in this…
Hook: Chick fight, please let there be a chick fight…
Regina: You’re just being my brand of parenting.
Emma: Erm…no Regina, I’m trying to save everyone. You left Henry alone for all hours of the day for no reason.
Regina: *Gasp!* I was the mayor!
Emma: Every day was the same, Regina!
Hook: So…no girl fright then…
Hook: Can I borrow one of your oven mitts? I only need the one…
Zelena: Friggin’ Weird bipolar weather…
Zelena: Hey, take a shower; I need a date to the Star Wars VII premiere…
Rumpelstiltskin: I am busy making myself a tuxedo of pure gold
Zelena: Sounds blinding…
Rumpelstiltskin: It’ll be the pimpest suit to ever pimp.
Zelena: Won’t it be ]really heavy?
Zelena: You are breaking my concentration, Zelena!
*Hasn’t quite mastered the concept of twirling her hair*
Zelena: Little old me?!
Zelena: Every girl fantasizes about having Rumple in a cage to do their bidding! Now I can say I actually did it.
Zelena: For God’s sakes Rumple, I’m going to know what you’re doing if you raise your hands five minutes before you come at my throat!
Rumpelstiltskin: I was just…gonna…hug you…
Zelena: I see my face!
Zelena: Not yours though…you want to come in for a dagger selfie with me?
Rumpelstiltskin: How about you take your selfie off a bridge?!
Zelena: Shaving time!
Rumpelstiltskin: Uh…That’s a really big blade to practice on me with…
Rumpelstiltskin: And your aim really sucks...
Zelena: My alcoholic father didn’t complain!
Rumpelstiltskin: All your alcoholic father did was complain! That’s part of why you ran out on him!
Rumpelstiltskin: And why are you acting like this is news I don’t know?!
Rumpelstiltskin: Have a close-up of our eyes for some reason!
Zelena: I think when we invited the cameraman closer; he didn’t take account for personal space…
Rumpelstiltskin: You don’t have any shaving cream? What sort of barber are you?
Rumpelstiltskin: I don’t even have an apron so it doesn’t dirty my immaculate clothing!
Zelena: Because I am just THAT good at shaving!
Rumpelstiltskin: Just get this right on the first take lady; I can’t grow this out every couple of days…
Zelena: I can see up your nose!
Zelena: A Kris blade probably isn’t the best shaving razor…
Zelena: I don’t want to go back in the house.
Zelena: *SNIIIFFFLLLESSS* Ugh, allergies…
Zelena: Anyway…about the issues I have that you already know about…
Zelena: Oh wait, hold on, your jaw has a weird little grove here…
Rumpelstiltskin: *Is suddenly clean shaven even though there’s no way she got everything* Ow! You cut me!
Rumpelstiltskin: Best barber my arse…
Zelena: I am! It’s your face that’s screwed up!
Rumpelstiltskin: I seem to remember you showing appreciation for my face!
Zelena: I still do, Rumple! That’s 98% of the reason you got brought back!
Rumpelstiltskin: *Double puppy eyes*
Zelena: *Is almost swayed* D-don’t do that…
Zelena: Puppy eyes, I don’t know how much longer I’ll hold out on that…
Belle: What does all this mean?! I don’t know how to run a business!
Zelena: *Gasp!* A Mickey Mouse phone! *Wants!*
Belle: Sorry, that’s on hold until I can actually get customers in here and save up my part of the money in order to buy it...
Zelena: Everyone gets what I’m entitled to have! Go turn around and look at clocks or something…
Belle: *Sighs* everyone ignores me…
Zelena: Don’t test me woman. Just turn your back…
Belle: I don’t have time for games, dusting this place is a full time job in itself!
Zelena: Just turn around! It won’t take like two seconds!
Belle: *Finds nothing suspicious about this* I guess I can spare two seconds since no one ever comes in to admire my sacrifice anyway…
Zelena: ….* waits*
Belle: Do you…blink?
Belle: *Is frozen*
Zelena: Idiot, his code is 1234 and he thinks no one will ever figure it out…
Zelena: Wait…Storybrooke needs money?
Zelena: Ooo, specimen…
Zelena: I be robbin’ your store!