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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Part 3

Regina: Ah, a dark and lonely path, just like my life.
Robin: Ah, a dark and lonely path, just like the tunnel I used to escape when I faced the dark one to save my wife

Regina: I….don’t care.
Robin: Well neither I….

Regina: Peasant.
Robin: Wow, I realized in so short a time, I’ve become almost a different person!

Regina: Excuse me, this is about me. You’re hardly a character.

Robin: Why did I come down here with you?

Regina: Alright, so the goal is to step on every prime number square right to left in every odd number row and every even number row every third line…
Robin: *Is confused*

Regina: I’m not going to repeat that, you should’ve heard me the first time
Robin: Where do I GO?!

Regina: *actual Dialogue* I own up to my mistakes…

*Is wheezing because he choked on his gum*


Regina: Since…uh…the times Henry makes me feel guilty about them!

Robin: That’s …not how this works…

Regina: I’m gonna take over your son’s life!

Robin: Hey, I have a dark past too!
Regina: Yeah well when you can get to be as bad as mine then we’ll talk.

Regina: Is it?
 Robin: I don’t know. For some reason I think most of what they say about you is overexxagerated anyway…

Regina: Someone that can coddle me! That’s always what I’ve looked for in a man!

Robin: Uh…did you leave that open?
Regina: No!

Regina: Maybe? It’s been 28 years…

Regina: Shocking!
Robin: Well they had to get in here somehow Regina. I’m surprised you didn’t consider this to be a possibility…

Regina: Oh look, the coffin where my mother played dead after that terrible Hook brought her here…

Regina: And she put the lid on the coffin when I left it open. That was thoughtful of her…

Robin: *There’s a giant ass coffin in here*

Regina: Darn it! I hate that she faked her death when I tried to have her killed and then I had to try and kill her again!

Regina: And then I felt sad over it….

Regina: But then someone else beat me to it, the rudes.

Robin: You know…you don’t have to give a sad story with each little item we find. IT’s already been five months since we started out in here…

Snow: This book comes with….BIRTHING PICTURES

Snow: That’s what it all looks like down there?

Snow: Oh God, it’s in color!

Rudo: If you’re going to faint, please don’t do it on the table, I don’t want you to break your nose.

Snow: You know, we could go to the library…

Rudo: That’s not open.

Snow: We could…break in…

Rudo: Commit crimes? With a pregnant lady?

Snow: Consider…it…um…practice….for your spying career. I do have connections.

Rudo: Awesome. Mom never lets me do anything fun, it’s always ‘Why can’t you play Pac Man, Rudo?’

Snow: I have to do spy things on swollen ankles now, what did I Just get myself into?!

Zelena: ….

Snow: You’re staring…

Zelena: Am I? I don’t think I am, must be the lighting from where you’re standing.

Zelena: Are you interested in handing over your baby?

Snow: Nope! Not again!


Zelena: Would you like to?

Snow: Nope! Totally in love with all my family, no one’s taking me from this little guy!


Zelena: I’m not from the first curse.
Snow: Oh, so are you a survivor of the world that was covered in dragons and chimeras and ogres? I don’t remember seeing you in safe haven; did you just wing it by yourself?

Zelena: Sure, why not?

Zelena: Also I’m a midwife who just happens to know everything about birthing a baby!

Snow: Lets be friends forever!

Zelena: Whoa girl, we’re moving too fast!

Zelena: Just let me be your midwife and you’ll never have to deal with me again!

Snow: Awesome! Chances are I’ll probably forget we’re friends!

Snow: There IS a perfectly functional hospital down the street but hey…the last time I gave birth at home, I didn’t need drugs!

Snow: Though I really wished there were some!

Snow: Oh hey, what are you doing?

Zelena: Just take that kid out; you’ll be fine in no time. AND EVERYTHING THAT’S MINE WILL BE MINE!



Hook: I don’t even know who little John is! Why do I have to look too?

Charming: *Swaggity swag* Because we are heroes, Hook!
Hook: I’m cold!

Robin: Whoa! Little John’s the only person ever to bleed in this forest!

*Little John is bleeding*
Charming: Little John is bleeding! Get help!

Hook: But I don’t know anyone here!

Regina: And this is my personal room!
Robin: I don’t want a tour!

Regina: Lies! Don’t think I haven’t noticed you pocketing everything!

Robin: *Is trying to be innocent* Who?

Regina: Ugh, someone’s been playing in my toybox!

Robin: Whoa! What’re you doing?

Regina: How dare you try to threaten me when I’m being suicidal!

Robin: Mmm, this bow always finds its target. Rumple gave it back to me with a red ribbon bow when I arrived at his house. I’ll still kill you!

Regina: Oh yeah, I’m somewhat good now.

Robin: Hey, you’re still doing things!

Regina: I am going to put myself under a sleeping curse, which will leave me under my own regrets until Henry shows u p and uses true love to break the curse.

Regina: Or something like that. Hope its true love that he and I have.

 Robin: Yeah, because it’s already established that whoever is under a sleeping curse is taking some little walk in the park or something.

Regina: For me it’ll be different. I’m sure of it.

Robin: You’ve been without your kid for a few hours, just think of how everyone else you separated from their kids feels…and you want to take the easy way out?

Regina: I said it’s different for me!

Regina: I’m going to release the barrier, poke myself with my pen soaked in sleeping curse goo and hope it didn’t dry out by then…

Regina: Oh crap, it’s already dry…

Robin: Are you high?

Robin: And are the writers really wanting me to like a codependent suicidal woman despite we have nothing in common?

Robin: I can’t even move! Your magic is holding me to the floor!



*Normal face*

Robin: I really regret coming here…

Regina: Hey, someone has to see me effectively commit suicide and blame it on me instead of the person that did this and wipe out whatever threat they might be!

Regina: Hey seriously, don’t argue with me, I know what I’m doing…

Emma: What’s it like to have a magical still? Do you have like…magical moonshine?

Regina: Is this the right color?

Emma: I don’t know! It was in a blue bottle!

Regina: USELESS!

Regina: Oo, tastes like tuna…

Emma: But mine didn’t taste like tuna!

Regina: Then I’ve failed!

Emma: Because mine didn’t taste like Tuna? You know we have to leave that way, right?

Regina: Also I don’t remember anything…

Regina: who could do such a thing to us?!

Emma: We could always put a locator spell on the bottle and see where it takes us.

Regina: don’t be drunk, Emma!

Regina: WE have absolutely no way of ever ever finding who did this!

Emma: Oh! We could do a stakeout!

Regina: With you dressed like that?

Emma: If I’m dressed normally they n they won’t suspect that we’re on a stakeout!

Regina: I can’t believe that somewhat makes sense!

Emma: Neither can I!

Regina: Can I go with you?

Emma: And hear you insult every part of my life and job? Sure!

Grumpy: Everyone! Regina’s on the south side of town riding her evil magic carpet and screaming “Down with everyone that opposes me!”



Everyone: ….

Grumpy: I’m not hearing anyone volunteering to help me end her tyranny!

Granny: It’s two for one Lasagna night, Grumpy. Can’t this wait?

Grumpy: Did Regina wait during 2for 1 Lasagna night when she cast the curse

Grumpy: Did she wait for 2 for 1 lasagna night when she ripped us all from our homelands?

Grumpy: It was 2 for 1 lasagna night when she took out the failsafe that nearly killed us all!

Zelena: What’s happening?

Zelena: Ugh, it’s an inspiration speech, I’m done.

Grumpy: Lasagna night can wait! It’s time we bring the fight to THEM!


  1. I must admit, the Robin/Queen romance was never believable. Well, nothing is on post-S1 OUAT, but at least the show is entertaining now. Did you catch Charming's joking "do you regret all the countless people you made to suffer?" dialogue with Regina?