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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

3x05 Part 2

Killian: How about this look for the ladies? Exciting right?
Liam: Killian, you’re never going to get girls in that uniform…or out of it.

Killian: Dang it Liam, you know I can’t read maps! That’s why I keep putting in for a GPS system!

Liam: Friggin’ Killian, we’re going out of this world! That was to show you that we’re not headed to any world you know about!

Killian: ….Do you know what happens to sailors that drink?

Liam: Can’t have FIVE MINUTES without something happening. Killian, what did you do?

Killian: How was I to know that the woman slapping me last night was the mayor’s daughter?!

Killian: I still remember the blows!

Liam: *Kicks in the backside* Why don’t we leave you?!

Liam: Drop the new sail!

*Are hard at work*

Liam: *Squees*
Killian: Is that-….

Liam: *Giggles*
Killian: That’s the blanket that mom made me!

Liam: *Is lying* No! Shut up! It’s the Pegasus sail!
Hook: Pegasus has a big butt wingspan then…

Killian: Wait…Pegasus is that one horse that can…


Captain of Other Ship: Oh wow, this is why soldiers don’t get drunk.

Killian: *Is keeping a death grip on the rail* I just remembered that I hate heights.

Liam: Just don’t fall over, from this distance you’ll probably splat on the water like it was concrete.
Killian: *Didn’t want to know that* Oh….g-good to know.

Killian: Being hoisted by one itty bitty sail, it’s so nice that the crew is totally on board with this.
 Liam: Oh, they’re on board with anything apparently.

Liam: Here goofy face, it’s yours.
Killian: He used our old nickname!

Liam: Just like dad used to!
Killian: *Is full of hope* I’m going to be captain one day too!

Liam: IT’s nice to have delusions.
Killian: Wheeee!

Emma: We gotta split up? Serious? Didn’t you watch any horror movies when you were over in our land, that’s a bad idea!

Hook: Living with Cora WAS a horror movie, do you know what sort of roomie she was?

Regina: Did she share at you while talking about plans she had for you while you slept? Because I sympathize with that one a lot.
Emma: What is with the people I choose to hang around?

Hook: We have to go for a super-secret mission to retrieve a sextant.

Emma: You just want to say ‘sextant’ a lot, don’t you?

Hook: I look forward to the reward you’ll give me when we get back.
Charming: What’s going on over there?!

Hook: Well, I’m off! Smooches!
Charming: What?!

Snow: Don’t put the rope around yourself like that; you’ll probably end up falling over and strangling yourself or something.

Emma: Dadvid? What do you have to say about all this?
Snow: *Is giving ‘the eye’* Charming….

Charming: I’m not headed up there as a death wish that can only end badly for me!

Snow: Oh, okay then!
Regina: That’s very specific….

Snow: But if Hook comes back without you ore Regina smarts off…mmmimpressive noose here.
Regina: *Is Awkward* 
Charming: So…*Is awkward*

Charming: Stay away from the pirate and Rumpelstiltskin.
Emma: You can’t tell me what to do!

Charming: Yes I can! I’m your father and what I say before heading to a final mission goes!

Charming: And why are you defending the right to hang out with Pirates and Dark Ones anyway?

Charming: Oh teenage rebellion…just like me when everyone told me not to marry your mother.

Snow: What?!

Emma: Too much information processing. Going into overload! Abort! Abort!

Emma: No wait, this is pretty nice…

Charming: *Still has no idea what he’s doing and scratches the back of her head* There’s a good girl.

 Snow: What do you mean marrying me was teenage rebellion?
Regina: If this was all it took to get them separated, I’d have done it years ago.

Charming: Uh….

Snow: Oh, this is pretty nice….

Charming: La la la *Sniffles*

Snow: I have complete faith that you will come up happy, healthy, and unharmed and unbound to anyone or anything that isn’t me…

Snow: Or you better not!

Charming: I’m beginning to see why people were so freaked out by Mary Margaret…

Charming: And I find it hot.
Regina: I hope he keeps his lips to himself around me…

*Are nuzzling noses*

Snow: He’s so dreamy when he’s sweaty and delusional!

Charming: Ugh, I just realized my last moments will be spent with Hook!

Pumba: Hakunnah Matata, what could ever go wrong?

Devin: Oh, I Hope this isn’t the Dreamshade spear…

Emma: Shoot the net!
Regina: Shoot his face!

*Has a net dropped on him*
Devin: Crap! *Yanks net off and runs*

Snow: I knew that if we just randomly set a net somewhere then EVENUTALLY a Lost Boy would walk under it!

Emma: Momgret! Stop shooting at him!
Snow: Die! Die! Die!

Devin: This is a horrible day; it doesn’t feel like Friday at all!

Emma: It’s Friday?

Emma: Today is payday back home…

Regina: Hello lonely child, would you like to betray your evil sadistic overlord who still has all the power on this island?

Regina: I’ll give you chocolate!

Devin: Are you serious?

Regina: Look, I don’t even let my own kid have these, so count your little blessings.

Emma: Or you can just ignore her like we all do and listen to me when I tell you that we can get you home!

Devin: You do realize that my home is probably gone and my family dead, right? So really, you’re not offering me anything that I believe you can fulfill!

Emma: Pan is horrible, you should betray him even though he has ears everywhere, look what he did to your face!

Devin: What makes you so certain that Pan or anyone else cut my face? I could’ve just fallen for all you know!

Regina: Chooocooollatteeeee!

Regina: Look, he’s taking it; I knew this would be a cinch! Ready to be Henry’s mother now!

Devin: It’s got peanuts! *Tosses*

Devin: Henry did this to my beautiful mug.

Emma: I automatically believe you!

Emma: Though I have no idea why…

Regina: He mutilated his first boy and I wasn’t there to see and cheer him on to do worse! Friggin’ Pan stealing my kid before I could!

Hook: Darn it, Charming. Keep up!
Charming: My energy is dropping!

Hook: Not me! I chugged five energy drinks on the way here!

Charming: Rum in your never ending flasks don’t count as ‘energy drinks’

Hook: I WAS going to offer you some but not now.
Charming: Seriously, where are you getting that stuff?

Hook: I don’t want to tell.
Charming: Tangled! Help! I’m tangled!

Charming: Uh *Raises hand* I have a question.
Hook: Okay fine! We’re surrounded by Rum trees! Just shove a knife in and you get rum! That’s why I’ve been sucking on trees when you caught me those two times!

Charming: Actually, I was going to ask that you pull me up the mountain seeing as how my death is suddenly coming on me like a ton of bricks.

Hook: Oh….

Charming: So are you going to help me or not?

Hook: I was going to ask that you pull ME up. Because I have to save energy for the way and back. You get the privilege of a one way trip.

Charming: Oh, you won’t have to because when we reach the top and you get the sextant, I’m going to push you off!

Charming: Do you even feel bad that you spend most of season 2 working with people who wanted us dead and didn’t care that Emma and others were collateral damage?

Hook: But…I’m here now and stuff!

Charming: So that’s a ‘no’ then.

Hook: Look, just forget about all the horrible things I’ve done, okay? The writers are!

*Is trying not to faint at the height of that thing*

Hook: I hate heights too!

Charming: I don’t! Let’s get going!

Hook: Won’t the climb exert you, make your heart beat faster and spread the poison to your system more rapidly?

Charming: Isn’t that why you brought me?

Hook: Little bit!

Killian: So…why are we here again?

Liam: We’re looking for something called Dreamshade! It was amazing healing properties.
Killian: That’s not what our wiki said one day when I was randomly browsing it.

Killian: Oh man, I could build my vacation house here!
Liam: Don’t be silly Killian, we don’t get paid enough afford a vacation house.

Liam: Killian, just go looking for this plant okay? I’ll stay on the beach and provide morale for the crew that we left on the ship for some odd reason.

Killian: That’s the only reason you brought me?!
Liam: Well yeah, it’s not for your gritty focus on getting things done no matter the cost.

Pan: Hey guys! What’s up?
Killian: EEEEEKKK!

Killian: Aw! Look, he’s a little adorable boy!

Liam: Tell us where the dreamshade is, punk!

Pan: You two are wearing white pants to the beach, isn’t that a fashion faux paus?

Liam: *Is looking* Whatever it is that we worship! I’m covered in sand! This will take forever to wash out!

Pan: Yep, just me here allllll alone!

Killian: But you’re not a threat?

Pan: I’m like fifteen! How threatening could I possibly be?

Pan: But that Dreamshade stuff will kill you, guys. Might want to rethink this strategy?

Killian: Aw, he’s cute Liam. Can’t we take him with us?
Liam: No! He looks shady!

Liam: And so he must know where the Dreamshade is!

Pan: Aw! They colored it and everything. Also how does anyone know this exists? Do they see it in their dreams?

Liam: I don’t know, the less I question it, the less I have to be here
Killian: Liam gets grumpy when he’s on the beach with no ladies!

Pan: Well, just go walking in the forest, you’re sure to find some or something.

Killian: *Is enthusiastic* Okay!
Liam: I don’t trust him…he has evil eyebrows…

Pan: *Is singing ‘Why Can’t We Be Friends?’*

Killian: Maybe our King is a liar!
Liam: Nonsense! This kid is looking at us like he wants to keep us captive here! And he’s British, so you KNOW how they are!

Killian: I don’t know what you’re talking about! He’s not creepy in the least.

Pan: *Happy sigh*

Killian: Okay, maybe a little.

Liam: We have opted not to listen to you!

Pan: Just like the putzes you are!

Killian: I totally did though, just so you know!

Pan: Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Killian: *Enthusiastic wave* Okay! Nice meeting you!


Charming: I’m ready to catch it!

Killian: Really this might go faster if I just climbed up myself…

Pan: Aren’t those the same clothes you LEFT in?

Hook: Oh hi Pan! *Is awkward* Uh….hey…

Hook: *Is shuffling feet* So, what’s up?

Pan: You’re not helping Charming up that mountain, ARE YOU?!

Hook: No, I’m helping my invisible friend Michelle Rodriguez up here…it’s not my fault Charming wants to climb too.

Pan: I stopped believing that invisible friend thing 200 years ago!

 Hook: GAH! Don’t TELEPORT without warning people!

Hook: Oh Pan, you got fat!

Pan: And you got…erm…hairier?

Pan: Which I didn’t think was possible because I saw that ponytail of shame.

Hook: *Sniffles* It was a fad!

Pan: So, wanna kill Charming for me?
 Charming: HOOK! HELP ME UP!

Hook: It’s becoming more and more tempting but if I go back with no Charming to my name, I’ll get shot, stabbed, and magicked probably because I imagine you’ll tip off what I did.

Pan: Remember when you used to work for me?

Hook: Yeah! No…can we have some flashbacks on that?

Pan: Okay how drunk are you?

Hook: I dunwanna talk about it!

Pan: …..

Hook: Use your magic Breathalyzer and see *Blows*

Hook: Does that give you a hint?

Pan: Mmm, I like action.

Hook: *Just realized Pan is standing behind him* What?!

Pan: Why do I hear fangirls squealing?

Hook: Why do you think?! Saying thing like that!

Pan: I want to see you put your hook inside his body!

Pan: Oh God, there they go again!
Hook: Maybe you should just shut up, how’s that for a hint?
Pan: Look, just kill him and you can have Emma!

Hook: *is whispering* Emma is totally ‘pro-Henry’ now.
Pan: WHAT?! Not abandoning your kid? I don’t…comprehend that!

Pan: Whatever, eventually you’ll get drunk or Charming will start talking and shutting him up will look tempting!

Hook: Your mom looks temp- Where did you go?!


Charming: I think I just took three more hours off my life waiting for you!
Hook: *Pouts*

Hook: *Blubbers* You don’t know what it’s like to be me!

Charming: But I do know what it’s like to have limited time because I’m dying, can we hurry please?

Hook: *Doesn’t like to be told to stop meandering*


Hook: *Is being tempted* 

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