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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

3x06 Ariel Part 3

Ariel: So THEN Eric says ‘let’s run away together’ and I’m like ‘what are you, nuts? We just met!’ and then some other stuff. It was really hard to focus on him, my own wishes, my pending time, and Snow eating my friend’s relatives over at the buffet table…

Ariel: Anyway, thanks for listening, If you could give me legs that’d be really great….but people haven’t seen you in a thousand years or so they say…so that whole thing will be awkward if people die in shipwrecks every day but I get a pair of gams for my man.

Triton: Ariel, my precious daughter, where are you?!

Ariel: Shut up, dad! I’m talking to my imaginary friends!

Ariel: Ignore him, he’s so embarrassing.

Ariel: Hm….well I guess…you’re not listening….I can’t believe you won't become part of my world so I can get my guy….

Ariel: Under the sea of ignoring me!

Regina: Augh! All these tentacles! I can’t figure out how to swim with them!

Ariel: Oh god, it’s hideous!

*Lifts up animatronic tentacle skirt so she can walk to a more shallow side of the water*

Regina: Okay Regina….don’t blow it….


Ariel: What?! I thought Ursula was based off a drag queen!

Regina: So…you haven’t been doing much…

Rumpelstiltskin:  “I” Found Henry!

Regina: Did you turn him into a rock to hide him or something? Where is he?

Rumpelstiltskin:  As soon as I found him I lost him again.

Regina: Way to go!

Rumpelstiltskin:  What makes you think I even want you here?

Regina: The Charming’s don’t want to do what I want to do! They want to rescue your dead son!

Rumpelstiltskin:  Bae’s alive, you idiot! He probably got kidnapped by animal control again!

Regina: Well he should still get in line, Henry got kidnapped first! Now he wants privileges of getting saved first!

Regina: And since I don’t care about your son-

Rumpelstiltskin:  You took your ball and went home?

Regina: *Fumes*

Rumpelstiltskin:  Go away Regina. One suicide mission at a time.

Regina: Is that bed for me?
Rumpelstiltskin:  No, it WAS for Bae until he got caught again…not very good with that whole being on his own in Neverland deal, is he?

Regina: I’ll huff and puff and blow the Lost Boys down!

Regina: Push them up in a big ball and bounce them down to the Indian Village….

Rumpelstiltskin:  Missing the silence already….

Regina: So how far did things go with you and Fake Belle anyway?

Rumpelstiltskin:  Not as far as I got with your mom.

Regina: Your keep saying that and I always think there’s more to that than a simple insult!

Rumpelstiltskin:  I’m going to go to the beach, don’t follow me!

Regina: …….

Regina: I’m so following you!

Regina: We can save Henry; we’re the two most powerful practitioners of magic in our world!
Rumpelstiltskin:  That’s awful arrogant to say when you got owned by the Blue Fairy.

Regina: …..

Regina: Just hold in all the tension….

Regina: And release….

Rumpelstiltskin:  What are you going on about?

Regina: I don’t know, it’s something Snow said she does when I make her mad so she doesn’t murder me in my sleep…

Regina: Out of the water and my makeup is impeccable.

Ariel: You’re…not really what I imagined…

Regina: I work out…

Ariel: Where were you when the ocean was being polluted and your little animal subjects were dying?

Regina: *waves hands around* Being maaaagical!

Regina: But it’s not like you care, you want your man don’t you?

Regina: I will meditate fabulously on this and get back to you shortly…

Regina: Ommmmmm

Ariel: Yeah, could you get something done tonight?

Regina: Don’t rush me; I practiced the art of fabulous meditation for an hour!

Ariel: Oookay then…

Regina: It’s a hard art form and only the first lesson was free.

Ariel: Oh…I believe you…I’m just…wondering why your hair is dry…

Ariel: Can I have legs now?!

Regina: Rawr, dear.

Regina: This one longing to be thinner that one wants to get the girl

Regina: And do I help them?! ….Apparently not in this show’s canon….

Ariel: So…are you going to give me legs or not?

Regina: Argh, stupid tentacle, I can’t see! *Is trying to blow it out of the way*

Regina: I will give you a bracelet! It’s like tradsies.

Regina: For free!

Ariel: Oh…okay that seems easy…

Regina: But never let Snow take it off!

Regina: Oh…bit of Flounder in my nail there….

Ariel: Wait, what happens if she wants to shower?

Regina: Mwahahaha! I mean…I’m sure you’ll think of something…

Ariel: SNOW! SNOW! *Is running as well as she can in a skirt that holds her legs together like that*

Snow: Hey, so there was like a billion reports of an Ursula sighting, I was sitting here waiting with a spear so I could get her and bask in the wealth that would come my way for killing her.

Ariel: Imma get my legs!

Ariel: By stealing yours!

Snow: Ohhhh…yeah…so those don’t detach…

Snow: Yeah okay, just put that on you...you weirdo….

Ariel: Here it comes!

Ariel: *Squees*


Ariel: Oh, you don’t like it?

Snow: Are they melded together in a never ending wave of pain and agony?!?!

Ariel: Oh that’s normal, you get used to it…

Snow: I don’t even like swimming! Now you’re telling me I have to surrender myself to a lifetime of it!

Ariel: Down where it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from meeeee!
Snow: Just hold in all the tension and release…just hold in all the tension and release….

Snow: This is super not great, Ariel! Gimme my legs back!

Snow: And next time, ask!

Snow: You can’t just poach someone’s poles

Ariel: I can…and…I did….

Regina: I’ve always wanted fish fillet…

Snow: Oh great, add in Rumpelstiltskin and this day couldn’t possibly get worse!

Ariel: Ursula?! You get legs too?!

Regina: All according to what was probably an unlikely plan of…sitting by the beach and hoping Ariel stops by alone…

Snow: This is probably why your plans never work for more than about five minutes…

Snow: Oh…another cave…

Emma: Sort of looks like the one we left…are we sure we didn’t circle around?

Hook: For the last eight times, I’m sorry that kept happening!

Hook: This is the echo caves! I lost half my crew in here!

Snow: Really? Uh…how did that work?

Hook: We’re the most incompetent pirates you’ve ever seen in your life.

Hook: We kept dying and Smee said something like “Just so you all know, I hate every single one of you and dream about smothering you in your sleep” and then we all got out…most had a buddy system after that awkward confession…

Hook: So…just tell your secrets and you’ll be okay.

Charming: Hold on, I don’t have enough of a backstory to have a secret…wait…oh crap!

Snow: Can’t we just…you know…go to separate places in the jungle, blurt out the worst of our secrets and then go inside and say things like “I ate the cheese puffs that one time”? Because it wouldn’t be secrets anymore that way, Pan’s spying on us!

Hook: That’s bloody stupid! We’d be here all night if I had to go in with you if that was the case!

Snow: Do NOT say my plans are stupid!

Emma: *Is drumming fingers*

Hook: It’s not a free island, but I’m going to say what I want anyway!

Hook: *Makes sure he won’t get shot for having his opinion*

Emma: If you’ve been in there before, why can’t one of us just go in and get this done?

Hook: Whoa, you just blew my mind!

Hook: In the scary cave?

Charming: By yourself with Neal?!

Hook: Right?!

Snow: I’m okay with that….

Snow: This is so frustrating!

Regina: Your tail makes you look fat!

Ariel: *Gasssppp!*

Regina: Oh by the way, Snow can’t take off that bracelet!

Ariel: Oh, that’s awkward.

Snow: adfjkdal;fa;fdk!

Regina: Struggle against your bonds, that’s right….

Regina: Ugh….you can’t even do that right…

Ariel: You’re a lying liar?!

Regina: You are SLOW!

Ariel: *Blubbers*

Regina: Shut it! I’m going to enjoy this brutal torture…you might not want to look

Regina: Now where were we…?

Regina: I finally got you! *Dances*

Regina: And now I monologue…

Regina: Your might want to cover your ears too…

Regina: Or…you know…leave…

Regina: Look, there’s a walking candlestick. Go fall in love with him randomly.

Regina: He has enough personality as Eric does!

Ariel: But Eric has a castle!

Regina: JUST GO!

Snow: I guess I could edge to the water at this point…

Snow: Hey Regina look over there and go get some guards!

Regina: You expect me to fall for that? Please….

Regina: Anyway, wanna hear how Snow ruined my life?

Ariel: You’re nuts…..

Ariel: I’m going to go jogging…

Ariel: See ya Snow, I’ll think of you when I have to shave these things…

Regina: I’m just thinking about the epic fish taco I can make with you…

Regina: Where’s that shell…?

Snow: You didn’t put this together until last minute, did you?

Regina: Shut up or I’ll shove lettuce in your gullet!

Regina: Which is really tempting to do anyway…

Snow: *Is coughing up lettuce leaves*

Ariel: DINGLEHOPPERED, *$#*Q*$#!

Ariel: *Is slowly edging Snow to the edge*
Snow: *Is scooting*

Ariel: Get off, you tacky bracelet!
Snow: So ANYONE but me can take it off!? That doesn’t seem well thought out…

Ariel: Hold your breath!

*Obviously already wet* 


Regina: Noes! *flails around*

Regina: HI COULD stop them....

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