Ariel: So THEN
Eric says ‘let’s run away together’ and I’m like ‘what are you, nuts? We just
met!’ and then some other stuff. It was really hard to focus on him, my own
wishes, my pending time, and Snow eating my friend’s relatives over at the
buffet table…
Ariel: Anyway,
thanks for listening, If you could give me legs that’d be really great….but
people haven’t seen you in a thousand years or so they say…so that whole thing
will be awkward if people die in shipwrecks every day but I get a pair of gams
for my man.
Triton: Ariel, my
precious daughter, where are you?!
Ariel: Shut up,
dad! I’m talking to my imaginary friends!
Ariel: Ignore
him, he’s so embarrassing.
Ariel: Hm….well I
guess…you’re not listening….I can’t believe you won't become part of my world
so I can get my guy….
Ariel: Under the
sea of ignoring me!
Regina: Augh! All
these tentacles! I can’t figure out how to swim with them!
Ariel: Oh god,
it’s hideous!
*Lifts up animatronic
tentacle skirt so she can walk to a more shallow side of the water*
Regina: Okay
Regina….don’t blow it….
Regina: *Practices
breathing* POOR UNFORTUNATE SOOOULLLLLLSSSSS!
Ariel: What?! I
thought Ursula was based off a drag queen!
Regina: So…you
haven’t been doing much…
Rumpelstiltskin: “I” Found Henry!
Regina: Did you
turn him into a rock to hide him or something? Where is he?
Rumpelstiltskin: As soon as I found him I lost him again.
Regina: Way to
go!
Rumpelstiltskin: What makes you think I even want you
here?
Regina: The Charming’s
don’t want to do what I want to do! They want to rescue your dead son!
Rumpelstiltskin: Bae’s alive, you idiot! He probably got
kidnapped by animal control again!
Regina: Well he
should still get in line, Henry got kidnapped first! Now he wants privileges of
getting saved first!
Regina: And since
I don’t care about your son-
Rumpelstiltskin: You took your ball and went home?
Regina: *Fumes*
Rumpelstiltskin: Go away Regina. One suicide mission at a
time.
Regina: Is that bed
for me?
Rumpelstiltskin: No, it WAS for Bae until he got caught
again…not very good with that whole being on his own in Neverland deal, is he?
Regina: I’ll huff
and puff and blow the Lost Boys down!
Regina: Push them
up in a big ball and bounce them down to the Indian Village….
Rumpelstiltskin: Missing the silence already….
Regina: So how
far did things go with you and Fake Belle anyway?
Rumpelstiltskin: Not as far as I got with your mom.
Regina: Your keep
saying that and I always think there’s more to that than a simple insult!
Rumpelstiltskin: I’m going to go to the beach, don’t
follow me!
Regina: …….
Regina: I’m so
following you!
Regina: We can
save Henry; we’re the two most powerful practitioners of magic in our world!
Rumpelstiltskin: That’s awful arrogant to say when you got owned by the Blue Fairy.
Regina: …..
Regina: Just hold
in all the tension….
Regina: And
release….
Rumpelstiltskin: What are you going on about?
Regina: I don’t know,
it’s something Snow said she does when I make her mad so she doesn’t murder me
in my sleep…
Regina: Out of
the water and my makeup is impeccable.
Ariel: You’re…not
really what I imagined…
Regina: I work
out…
Ariel: Where were
you when the ocean was being polluted and your little animal subjects were
dying?
Regina: *waves hands
around* Being maaaagical!
Regina: But it’s
not like you care, you want your man don’t you?
Regina: I will
meditate fabulously on this and get back to you shortly…
Regina: Ommmmmm
Ariel: Yeah,
could you get something done tonight?
Regina: Don’t
rush me; I practiced the art of fabulous meditation for an hour!
Ariel: Oookay
then…
Regina: It’s a
hard art form and only the first lesson was free.
Ariel: Oh…I
believe you…I’m just…wondering why your hair is dry…
Ariel: Can I have
legs now?!
Regina: Rawr,
dear.
Regina: This one
longing to be thinner that one wants to get the girl
Regina: And do I
help them?! ….Apparently not in this show’s canon….
Ariel: So…are you
going to give me legs or not?
Regina: Argh,
stupid tentacle, I can’t see! *Is trying
to blow it out of the way*
Regina: I will
give you a bracelet! It’s like tradsies.
Regina: For free!
Ariel: Oh…okay
that seems easy…
Regina: But never
let Snow take it off!
Regina: Oh…bit of
Flounder in my nail there….
Ariel: Wait, what
happens if she wants to shower?
Regina: Mwahahaha!
I mean…I’m sure you’ll think of something…
Ariel: SNOW! SNOW! *Is running as well as she can in a skirt that holds her legs together like that*
Snow: Hey, so
there was like a billion reports of an Ursula sighting, I was sitting here
waiting with a spear so I could get her and bask in the wealth that would come
my way for killing her.
Ariel: Imma get
my legs!
Ariel: By stealing
yours!
Snow: Ohhhh…yeah…so
those don’t detach…
Snow: Yeah okay,
just put that on you...you weirdo….
Ariel: Here it
comes!
Ariel: *Squees*
Snow: WHERE ARE
MY LEGS?!
Ariel: Oh, you
don’t like it?
Snow: Are they
melded together in a never ending wave of pain and agony?!?!
Ariel: Oh that’s
normal, you get used to it…
Snow: I don’t
even like swimming! Now you’re telling me I have to surrender myself to a
lifetime of it!
Ariel: Down where
it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from meeeee!
Snow: Just hold
in all the tension and release…just hold in all the tension and release….
Snow: This is
super not great, Ariel! Gimme my legs back!
Snow: And next
time, ask!
Snow: You can’t
just poach someone’s poles
Ariel: I
can…and…I did….
Regina: I’ve
always wanted fish fillet…
Snow: Oh great,
add in Rumpelstiltskin and this day couldn’t possibly get worse!
Ariel: Ursula?!
You get legs too?!
Regina: All
according to what was probably an unlikely plan of…sitting by the beach and
hoping Ariel stops by alone…
Snow: This is
probably why your plans never work for more than about five minutes…
Snow: Oh…another
cave…
Emma: Sort of
looks like the one we left…are we sure we didn’t circle around?
Hook: For the
last eight times, I’m sorry that kept happening!
Hook: This is the
echo caves! I lost half my crew in here!
Snow: Really?
Uh…how did that work?
Hook: We’re the
most incompetent pirates you’ve ever seen in your life.
Hook: We kept
dying and Smee said something like “Just so you all know, I hate every single
one of you and dream about smothering you in your sleep” and then we all got
out…most had a buddy system after that awkward confession…
Hook: So…just
tell your secrets and you’ll be okay.
Charming: Hold
on, I don’t have enough of a backstory to have a secret…wait…oh crap!
Snow: Can’t we
just…you know…go to separate places in the jungle, blurt out the worst of our
secrets and then go inside and say things like “I ate the cheese puffs that one
time”? Because it wouldn’t be secrets anymore that way, Pan’s spying on us!
Hook: That’s
bloody stupid! We’d be here all night if I had to go in with you if that was
the case!
Snow: Do NOT say
my plans are stupid!
Emma: *Is drumming
fingers*
Hook: It’s not a
free island, but I’m going to say what I want anyway!
Hook: *Makes sure he
won’t get shot for having his opinion*
Emma: If you’ve
been in there before, why can’t one of us just go in and get this done?
Hook: Whoa, you
just blew my mind!
Hook: In the
scary cave?
Charming: By
yourself with Neal?!
Hook: Right?!
Snow: I’m okay
with that….
Snow: This is so
frustrating!
Regina: Your tail makes you look fat!
Ariel: *Gasssppp!*
Regina: Oh by the
way, Snow can’t take off that bracelet!
Ariel: Oh, that’s
awkward.
Snow: adfjkdal;fa;fdk!
Regina: Struggle
against your bonds, that’s right….
Regina: Ugh….you
can’t even do that right…
Ariel: You’re a
lying liar?!
Regina: You are
SLOW!
Ariel: *Blubbers*
Regina: Shut it!
I’m going to enjoy this brutal torture…you might not want to look
Ariel: …
Regina: Now where
were we…?
Regina: I finally
got you! *Dances*
Regina: And now I
monologue…
Regina: Your
might want to cover your ears too…
Regina: Or…you
know…leave…
Regina: Look,
there’s a walking candlestick. Go fall in love with him randomly.
Regina: He has
enough personality as Eric does!
Ariel: But Eric
has a castle!
Regina: JUST GO!
Snow: I guess I
could edge to the water at this point…
Snow: Hey Regina
look over there and go get some guards!
Regina: You
expect me to fall for that? Please….
Regina: Anyway,
wanna hear how Snow ruined my life?
Ariel: You’re
nuts…..
Ariel: I’m going
to go jogging…
Ariel: See ya
Snow, I’ll think of you when I have to shave these things…
Regina: I’m just
thinking about the epic fish taco I can make with you…
Regina: Where’s
that shell…?
Snow: You didn’t
put this together until last minute, did you?
Regina: Shut up
or I’ll shove lettuce in your gullet!
Regina: Which is
really tempting to do anyway…
Snow: *Is coughing
up lettuce leaves*
Ariel: DINGLEHOPPERED,
*$#*Q*$#!
Ariel: *Is slowly edging
Snow to the edge*
Snow: *Is scooting*
Regina: MY SPINAL
COLUMN!
Ariel: Get off,
you tacky bracelet!
Snow: So ANYONE
but me can take it off!? That doesn’t seem well thought out…
Ariel: Hold your
breath!
Snow: What?!
NOI’MNOTREADYYETOHCRA-
*Obviously already wet*
*Splash*
Regina: Noes!
*flails around*
Regina: HI COULD stop them....
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