*Do they plummet to the ground if the strong wind drops?*
Liam: I do have to give you credit for this one idea brother, putting a mirror above the bed was the smartest thing you’ve ever said.
*How did Hook and Milah fit on that thing?*
Killian: *IS full of hero worship* Hey, when you retire, can I have your room?
Liam: No Killian, go stay in your own!
Killian: But I don’t have a room, you make me sleep on the mast!
Killian: And if you don’t give me what I want, I’ll just stomp up there and hold my breath!
Liam: *Is stomping* Do that! God you’re always like this Killian! I nearly die and you want the attention for yourself!
Killian: Brother, I love you!
Killian: You were always the one that yanked me out of the bullies that were beating me up and I always had faith that we could do something together!
Liam: Oh Killian, I don’t have the heart to tell you that that was because our parents always gave you both of our lunch money and if I didn’t save you, I’d be not having lunch. Sheila and the cheerleaders were sort of mean to you though.
Lookout: WATER, HO!
Mermaids: What did they call us?
Liam: Ah, that was a great landing.
Cabin Boy: All of our men fell over Captain! Wide Eyes fell off the crow’s nest!
Liam: At least our property is intact.
Cabin Boy: All fell over too sir, things look broke.
Liam: At least the ship is safe.
Cabin Boy: We weren’t made for air sailing sir, we’re taking on water.
Killian: We have our brohood though! Nothing else could go wrong!
Liam: *Randomly plops over*
Killian: Oh no! I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming!
Killian: Hey! *Is slapping* Wake up! Do it!
Killian: Everyone will think I did you in!
Killian: Oh don’t die; your stuff isn’t out of the room yet!
Killian: I….I’m not carrying him.
Killian: Okay, my face is covered, now hopefully the heart of the island won’t recognize me on her security feed!
Killian: TAKE THIS, HEART OF THE ISLAND! *Attacks*
Killian: Oh I hope I don’t mix up my bag with his because that’ll be awkward about ten minutes from now.
Killian: So…*is gesturing for him to get up* Arise fair prince.
Killian: Friggin’ I’m not helping him up!
Killian: Okay FINE!
Charming: NO! NOT CPR! NOT CPR!
Killian: *Is throttling* You WILL live! Do you hear me?!
Charming: You’re sort of defeating the purpose…
Killian: If you drink this you can neeeeeeever leave. I’m guessing. Or Pan told me when I came back to the place that killed my brother that’s never mentioned at all last season because the writers probably didn’t want to deal with two abandoning fathers in one season if they focused on the backstory I did tell.
Charming: I stopped caring about that first sentence in….
Killian: Look, do you want to drink this or not?
Killian: Cause I’m trying to get in good with Emma and it won’t work otherwise.
Charming: You wanna what?!
Killian: Maybe Snow too. Just saying.
Charming: GIMME! GIMME!
Charming: *Is chugging*
Charming: *Coughs for twenty minutes* I breathed when I drank!
Killian: I totally didn’t do it because I like you.
Charming: Good! So then you won’t feel bad when I say for you to still stay away from my daughter. I’m pulling for Archie!
Killian: Darn it, maybe I should’ve lied about that….
Emma: Where is that Lost Boy’s heart?
Regina: In my pocket!
Emma: This storyline is all sorts of useless and disturbing.
Snow: You just wait till your father gets home, young lady!
Regina: Don’t you use the same stuff I used on you when you were a little girl!
Regina: Cause that was original stuff!
Emma: I heard drunken singing!
Regina: If Hook brought back David alive, I’m going to roast that magnificent beast!
Charming: HUNNAY! *Hug tackles*
Regina: Ewwww! Love!
Snowing: *Are Jumping up and Down Together* TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS!
Regina: Is it over?
Snow: *Is being twirled around* WHEEEEEE
Hook: Is this a habit?
Snowing: *Are singing ‘Wind Beneath my Wings”*
Emma: *Is being embarrassed at her parents* Is this something that happens often?
Regina: It’s their mating dance. And to mess with me, Rumpelstiltskin put in pheromones that mean that you have to kiss the hottest person closest to you in five minutes or you grow lips out of your head for a week once that dance is performed.
Hook: Who wants to make out with me? I can’t have lips growing out of my head again.
Charming: Regina, you better be the one volunteering!
Regina: How about it, loser?
Hook: Can’t I just flip a coin?
Charming: You better make out with her and not my daughter!
Snow: Charming! We’re not done yet!
Hook: And what are you going to do if I don’t?
Charming: Drink all your rum!
Hook: *Is sadly whining*
Charming: To not telling my family the truth about my fate!
Emma: What truth?
Charming: Nooothing you need to worry about!
Hook: You know the backwash has been in there for like 300 years.
Snow: Who’s the best pirate around!
Hook: I’m guessing me!
Snowing: TACOS! TACOS! TACOS!
Regina: I’m going to make out with my reflection since I’m convinced I’m the hottest thing around.
Emma: So did you really save my dad’s life?
Killian: Sort of? Really I just traded one death sentence for another
Emma: How come?
Killian: Well I- He- You- We-
Killian: Do you want these growing out of your forehead or not? Let’s make out!
Emma: You are aware that Neal’s been dead for four days and I was just crying about him last episode right?
Killian: Yeah, I know! I’m takin’ all their women!
Emma: Okay I’m ready.
Killian: Can you look like you’re a little more alive than that?
Emma: Hard when you stare at me looking like this most of the time.
Emma: Nah, I think I’ll settle for the forehead lip thing. Maybe next time we’re all fighting and I’m trying to state reason, I’ll be twice as loud *Trips*
Hook: This makes us married!
Emma: Drnt, No!
Emma: *Gasps for breath* When was-
Hook: -the last time I’ve been kissed like that?
Emma: - the last time you brushed your teeth? Or had a bath? These things matter now that I’m up close and personal…
Emma: You haven’t changed your clothes for like hundreds of years!
Emma: *Sniffles* I wish Archie was here.
*Is testing his breath*
Hook: Oh geez, man I should’ve popped a few mints.
Hook: How embarrassing….
*How is that thing steered?*
Killian: Oh geez, how the mob is ready to turn on me!
Baldy: The captain wrote his will. We get his millions, you get this.
Killian: Well ti’s better than how well I thought I was going to do….
Killian: *Sniffles* My brother gave me his most precious thing in the world!
Baldy: Then why don’t you keep it?
Killian: Becauuse it’s totally not the most precious thing to me.
Killian: Why won’t it come off?!
Killian: Curses! The bag is tricking me!
Killian: *Ahem* So, you all know my story, the mission we were sent on was to collect a weapon that we knew nothing about nor can we guess the complete use of…
Killian: … other than to assume it’s for really really bad things!
Killian: And the King’s mission killed my brother!
Cabin Boy: I heard he did it to himself!
Killian: Well he wouldn’t have if the king hadn’t pinky swore he was up to good!
*Pegasus gave his wings for nothing*
Killian: I hate our nation!
Cabin Boy: Uh….captain won’t that collapse on you possibly?
Killian: Shut up, Walt! *Is coughing at the smoke and ash*
Baldy: I think our captain’s lost it….
Killian: I AM PERFECTLY THINKING CLEARLY!
Killian: Lying is bad form and so to show them we don’t stand for bad form, we’re going to turn into thieving pillaging murdering pirates! That’ll show them!
Cabin Boy Walt: WHAT?!
Killian: And someone throw Walt over the edge!
Killian: Thank you!
Braided Beard: Wow, our captain doesn’t react well to disappointment at all.
Baldy: What about our families?
Santa: This turn is rather sudden, I’m just saying…
Killian: And I’m all for freedom of choice! So either you’re with me or you walk the plank!
Baldy: Oh, so we have to abandon our families and our nation but YOU get to bring your married girlfriend on board and expect us to be okay with it!
Santa: Toss him overboard!
Killian: Hey! If we do this, there’s money involved! And girls!
Killian: And we don’t have to wear these lousy uniforms anymore that don’t show off any goods!
Killian: Take THAT Santa!
Killian: Also we’ll get to wear lots of leather and I’ll cut my ponytail.
Crew: WE’RE IN!
Killian: Oh man, Liam’s right. These schmucks will go for anything….
Hook: Mmmm Rum Tree from this coordinate, you were always my favorite.
Pan: Should I let you two have some time alone then?
Pan: Seriously, our trees are made of Rum? Oooo gimme!
Hook: How did you not know that?
Pan: I don’t know. When I saw you drinking straight from the bark, I just thought you were desperate for affection and gone mad or something.
Hook: Well, now I have real lips to kiss!
Pan: Is that why she’s going through the whole tube of toothpaste that her mother brought?
Hook: She’s not…doing…that…
Pan: So my family’s been messing up yours for a while now! D’ya think Milah and Liam’s corpses said ‘hi’ as they floating past each other?
Pan: Seriously, the people that die on you are a bunch of idiots….
Hook: EMMMA! PAN’S BEING MEAN!
Pan: Well try this on for size, goober face. Bae’s back and he’s gonna cause trouble.
Hook: Oh crap, every time I think he’s dead, he just pops back up!
Pan: I know! You wouldn’t believe how many times I tried to do him in.
Pan: And then he beat up my shadow and…um…let’s just say that if he ever asks, I let him go, okay?
Pan: Cause no one wants to admit that a fourteen year old beat up their shadow…
Pan: Bae being happy?! I can’t have that!
Baelfire: Mmrph, wanna new pillow! Zzzzz
Baelfire: Zzzz this overhead xylophone sucks!
Pan: How long has this been going on?
Felix: He has YET to shut up…
Baelfire: Zzzz, no mom, I don’t want to go to the cage while you go drinking….zzzz…
Pan: So Rumpel married the female version of me?
Felix: Wow, that explains so much.
Felix: I have no idea who said that.
Pan: Hey, Bae is scared of heights right?
Felix: I don’t think so…
Pan: I’ve decided he is! Hang him up!
Wendy: HEY BAE! What’s up?!
Baelfire: Shut up Emma! I’m tryin’ to sleep!