*Do they plummet to
the ground if the strong wind drops?*
Liam: I do have
to give you credit for this one idea brother, putting a mirror above the bed
was the smartest thing you’ve ever said.
*How did Hook and Milah fit on that thing?*
Killian: *IS full of
hero worship* Hey, when you retire, can I have your room?
Liam: No Killian,
go stay in your own!
Killian: But I
don’t have a room, you make me sleep on the mast!
Killian: And if
you don’t give me what I want, I’ll just stomp up there and hold my breath!
Liam: *Is stomping* Do
that! God you’re always like this Killian! I nearly die and you want the
attention for yourself!
Killian: Brother,
I love you!
Liam: ….
Killian: You were
always the one that yanked me out of the bullies that were beating me up and I
always had faith that we could do something together!
Liam: Oh Killian,
I don’t have the heart to tell you that that was because our parents always
gave you both of our lunch money and if I didn’t save you, I’d be not having
lunch. Sheila and the cheerleaders were sort of mean to you though.
Lookout: WATER,
HO!
*CRASH*
Mermaids: What
did they call us?
Liam: Ah, that
was a great landing.
Cabin Boy: All of
our men fell over Captain! Wide Eyes fell off the crow’s nest!
Liam: At least
our property is intact.
Cabin Boy: All
fell over too sir, things look broke.
Liam: At least
the ship is safe.
Cabin Boy: We
weren’t made for air sailing sir, we’re taking on water.
Killian: We have
our brohood though! Nothing else could go wrong!
Liam: *Randomly
plops over*
Killian: Oh no! I
can’t believe I didn’t see this coming!
Killian: Hey! *Is slapping* Wake up! Do it!
Killian: Everyone
will think I did you in!
Killian: Oh don’t
die; your stuff isn’t out of the room yet!
Charming: ….
Killian: I….I’m
not carrying him.
Killian: Okay, my
face is covered, now hopefully the heart of the island won’t recognize me on
her security feed!
Killian: TAKE
THIS, HEART OF THE ISLAND! *Attacks*
Killian: Oh I
hope I don’t mix up my bag with his because that’ll be awkward about ten
minutes from now.
Killian: So…*is
gesturing for him to get up* Arise fair prince.
Killian: Friggin’
I’m not helping him up!
Killian: Okay
FINE!
Charming: NO! NOT
CPR! NOT CPR!
Killian: *Is
throttling* You WILL live! Do you hear me?!
Charming: You’re
sort of defeating the purpose…
Killian: If you
drink this you can neeeeeeever leave. I’m guessing. Or Pan told me when I came
back to the place that killed my brother that’s never mentioned at all last
season because the writers probably didn’t want to deal with two abandoning
fathers in one season if they focused on the backstory I did tell.
Charming: I
stopped caring about that first sentence in….
Killian: Look, do
you want to drink this or not?
Killian: Cause
I’m trying to get in good with Emma and it won’t work otherwise.
Charming: You
wanna what?!
Killian: Maybe
Snow too. Just saying.
Killian: Drink?
Charming: GIMME!
GIMME!
Charming: *Is chugging*
Charming: *Coughs for
twenty minutes* I breathed when I drank!
Killian: I
totally didn’t do it because I like you.
Charming: Good!
So then you won’t feel bad when I say for you to still stay away from my
daughter. I’m pulling for Archie!
Killian: Darn it,
maybe I should’ve lied about that….
Emma: Where is
that Lost Boy’s heart?
Regina: In my
pocket!
Emma: ….
Emma: This
storyline is all sorts of useless and disturbing.
Snow: You just wait till your father gets home, young lady!
Regina: Don’t you
use the same stuff I used on you when you were a little girl!
Regina: Cause
that was original stuff!
Regina: Hmph!
Emma: I heard
drunken singing!
Regina: If Hook
brought back David alive, I’m going to roast that magnificent beast!
Charming: HUNNAY!
*Hug tackles*
Regina: Ewwww!
Love!
Snowing: *Are Jumping
up and Down Together* TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS!
Regina: Is it
over?
Snow: *Is being
twirled around* WHEEEEEE
Hook: Is this a
habit?
Snowing: *Are singing
‘Wind Beneath my Wings”*
Snowing: *Breathes*
Snowing: *Snogs*
Emma: *Is being
embarrassed at her parents* Is this something that happens often?
Regina: It’s
their mating dance. And to mess with me, Rumpelstiltskin put in pheromones that
mean that you have to kiss the hottest person closest to you in five minutes or
you grow lips out of your head for a week once that dance is performed.
Hook: Who wants
to make out with me? I can’t have lips growing out of my head again.
Charming: Regina,
you better be the one volunteering!
Regina: How about
it, loser?
Hook: Can’t I
just flip a coin?
Charming: You
better make out with her and not my daughter!
Snow: Charming!
We’re not done yet!
Hook: And what
are you going to do if I don’t?
Charming: Drink
all your rum!
Hook: *Is sadly
whining*
Charming: To not
telling my family the truth about my fate!
Emma: What truth?
Charming: Nooothing
you need to worry about!
Charming: Smugly!
Hook: You know
the backwash has been in there for like 300 years.
Charming: ….
Snow: Who’s the
best pirate around!
Hook: I’m
guessing me!
Snowing: TACOS!
TACOS! TACOS!
Regina: I’m going
to make out with my reflection since I’m convinced I’m the hottest thing
around.
Emma: So did you
really save my dad’s life?
Killian: Sort of?
Really I just traded one death sentence for another
Emma: How come?
Killian: Well I-
He- You- We-
Killian: Do you
want these growing out of your forehead or not? Let’s make out!
Emma: You are
aware that Neal’s been dead for four days and I was just crying about him last
episode right?
Emma: Okay I’m
ready.
Killian: Can you
look like you’re a little more alive than that?
Emma: Hard when
you stare at me looking like this most of the time.
Emma: Nah, I
think I’ll settle for the forehead lip thing. Maybe next time we’re all
fighting and I’m trying to state reason, I’ll be twice as loud *Trips*
Emma: MMMPH!
Hook: This makes
us married!
Emma: Drnt, No!
Emma: *Gasps for
breath* When was-
Hook: -the last
time I’ve been kissed like that?
Emma: - the last
time you brushed your teeth? Or had a bath? These things matter now that I’m up
close and personal…
Emma: You haven’t
changed your clothes for like hundreds of years!
Emma: Unbelievable!
Emma: *Sniffles*
I wish Archie was here.
*Is testing his
breath*
Hook: Oh geez,
man I should’ve popped a few mints.
Hook: How
embarrassing….
*How is that thing
steered?*
Liam: *Plop*
Killian: Oh geez,
how the mob is ready to turn on me!
Baldy: The
captain wrote his will. We get his millions, you get this.
Killian: Well
ti’s better than how well I thought I was going to do….
Killian: *Sniffles*
My brother gave me his most precious thing in the world!
Baldy: Then why
don’t you keep it?
Killian: Becauuse
it’s totally not the most precious thing to me.
*Is rubbing*
Killian: Why
won’t it come off?!
Killian: Curses!
The bag is tricking me!
Killian: *Ahem*
So, you all know my story, the mission we were sent on was to collect a weapon
that we knew nothing about nor can we guess the complete use of…
*Santa!*
Killian: … other
than to assume it’s for really really bad things!
Killian: And the
King’s mission killed my brother!
Cabin Boy: I
heard he did it to himself!
Killian: Well he
wouldn’t have if the king hadn’t pinky swore he was up to good!
*Pegasus gave his
wings for nothing*
Killian: I hate
our nation!
Cabin Boy:
Uh….captain won’t that collapse on you possibly?
Killian: Shut up,
Walt! *Is coughing at the smoke and ash*
Baldy: I think
our captain’s lost it….
Killian: I AM
PERFECTLY THINKING CLEARLY!
Killian: Lying is
bad form and so to show them we don’t stand for bad form, we’re going to turn
into thieving pillaging murdering pirates! That’ll show them!
Cabin Boy Walt:
WHAT?!
Killian: And
someone throw Walt over the edge!
*Splash*
Killian: Thank
you!
Braided Beard:
Wow, our captain doesn’t react well to disappointment at all.
Baldy: What about
our families?
Santa: This turn
is rather sudden, I’m just saying…
Killian: And I’m
all for freedom of choice! So either you’re with me or you walk the plank!
Baldy: Oh, so we
have to abandon our families and our nation but YOU get to bring your married
girlfriend on board and expect us to be okay with it!
Santa: Toss him
overboard!
Killian: Hey! If
we do this, there’s money involved! And girls!
Killian: And we
don’t have to wear these lousy uniforms anymore that don’t show off any goods!
Killian: Take
THAT Santa!
Killian: Also we’ll get to wear lots of leather and I’ll cut my
ponytail.
Crew: WE’RE IN!
Killian: Oh man,
Liam’s right. These schmucks will go for anything….
Hook: Mmmm Rum
Tree from this coordinate, you were always my favorite.
Pan: Should I let
you two have some time alone then?
Pan: Seriously,
our trees are made of Rum? Oooo gimme!
Hook: How did you
not know that?
Pan: I don’t
know. When I saw you drinking straight from the bark, I just thought you were
desperate for affection and gone mad or something.
Hook: Well, now I
have real lips to kiss!
Pan: Is that why
she’s going through the whole tube of toothpaste that her mother brought?
Hook: She’s
not…doing…that…
Pan: So my
family’s been messing up yours for a while now! D’ya think Milah and Liam’s
corpses said ‘hi’ as they floating past each other?
Pan: Seriously,
the people that die on you are a bunch of idiots….
Hook: EMMMA!
PAN’S BEING MEAN!
Pan: Well try
this on for size, goober face. Bae’s back and he’s gonna cause trouble.
Hook: Oh crap,
every time I think he’s dead, he just pops back up!
Pan: I know! You
wouldn’t believe how many times I tried to do him in.
Pan: And then he
beat up my shadow and…um…let’s just say that if he ever asks, I let him go,
okay?
Pan: Cause no one
wants to admit that a fourteen year old beat up their shadow…
Pan: Bae being
happy?! I can’t have that!
Baelfire: Mmrph,
wanna new pillow! Zzzzz
Baelfire: Zzzz
this overhead xylophone sucks!
Pan: How long has
this been going on?
Felix: He has YET
to shut up…
Baelfire: Zzzz,
no mom, I don’t want to go to the cage while you go drinking….zzzz…
Pan: So Rumpel
married the female version of me?
Felix: Wow, that
explains so much.
Pan: ….
Felix: I have no
idea who said that.
Pan: Hey, Bae is
scared of heights right?
Felix: I don’t
think so…
Pan: I’ve decided
he is! Hang him up!
Wendy: HEY BAE!
What’s up?!
Baelfire: Shut up
Emma! I’m tryin’ to sleep!
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