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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

3x05 Part 3

Liam: Keep up Killian!
Killian: Oh god, I need to get this abs in better shape!

Killian: Is that it?
Liam: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Killian: ….
Liam: Close enough!

Liam: Well Killian, get to cutting. I’ll just lean on this rock and work on my suntan!

Killian: But this looks like a lot of work! I don’t wanna!

Killian: AND it might be poisonous. I know you’ve been out to get me since mom said I was the favorite in her will but this is a little extreme, don’t you think?

Liam: Look at all this! It’ll stain my uniform! I can’t carry it! I’m the captain AND the older brother. Get to cutting!

Killian: Poison isn’t in my top twenty ways to go!

Liam: Killian, just because a native creepy kid who lives here in this world actually says it’s dangerous in no way trumps our king who read it in a book! Or…saw it in his dreams as a boy or something…

Killian: I don’t wanna!

Liam: Fine! Big baby! I’ll cut myself with a plant I know nothing about and prove it to you!

Killian: Maybe you should!

Liam: ….

Liam: Fine! I will!

Liam: Yeah, this is all black and gooey and foreboding! Perfect for the injection!

Killian: Are you seriously being an idiot?

Killian: Huh, guess you are.

Liam: See? I’m totally fine. Oh, by the way, dad told me which one his favorite was. And you’ll be surprised because he said-

Liam: Augh! What’s happened?!
Killian: I told you so, you turd!

Killian: Mountain! Save my brother!

Emma: Tell me where my son is, or I’ll knock your block off!
Devin: He’s so evil! I couldn’t possibly!
Emma: Beside the point!

Devin: What are you doing?! For all you know, I could have been Henry at some point whose family never came for me!

Regina: Geez, someone’s got anger issues.

Snow: Emma, walk it off.

Regina: I can rip his heart out!

Devin: Um…what?

Regina: It’ll only be agonizing when you still have control of your actions!

Snow: Emma, need I remind you that Regina has been nagging to use magic all season, she’s done this brutal treatment to people such as Graham and myself, and in the long run, putting this kid in danger serves absolutely no purpose other than to show that Regina’s not just dead weight.

Regina: And what have you done?

Regina: We’ve been trying to convince him to get Henry for like two hours! If he won’t change his mind in two hours then there’s nothing more to be done!

Emma: Momgret…don’t give me that look!

Emma: I guess we can enable your psycho side.

Regina: Smirk!

Regina: Well kid, it’s either me or you.

Emma: Yes, I am holding down my mother so the woman that wanted to kill us a week ago can inflict a painful process on a kid that strips him of free will and overall has no bearing on the entire plot as a whole because we don’t see him again.

Snow: ….

Emma: If you’re going to give me the silent treatment, could you at least send me to my room?

Snow: You do remember all the hearts she’s ripped out and how that’s dark magic in this universe, right?

Emma: I…guess?

Snow: Just remember the pain we’ve had to deal with because she kept enabling herself with Dark Magic, that’s all I have to say.

Emma: Hey, are you done stripping free will of minors?

Regina: Even better! He’s going to use my cell phone compact idea to meet Henry!

Snow: Oh god, not the cell phone compact idea again…

Hook: Oh I can still smell my brother’s blind whippedness

Hook: Oh wait, that’s just YOU!

Charming: I’m pretty sure you remind me of my brother.
Hook: Oh really? He was mischievous and handsome?
Charming: No, he was my twin.

Hook: *Cracks up*

Charming: HEY! You tricked me into saying that!

Hook: Oh, just like every father of every daughter I’ve met.

Charming: You want to tackle Emma in the Dreamshade bushes all sexy like? Well maybe I’LL tackle you in the Dreamshade bushes too!

Hook: That wasn’t a family offer!

Charming: I meant literally!

Hook: Look, you can’t kill me! We’re bros! We do things like keep secrets from our women and go on death missions! We’re this seasons Mr. Gold and Archie.

Charming: There will NEVER be another Mr. Gold and Archie! *Goes on a rant*

Hook: Oh! Dreamshade in the backside! Look out!

Hook: Oooo, that’s prickly!

Charming: - And lastly, bros don’t hit each other with PIPES!

Hook: Not the face! Not the Face!

Charming: Oh this sword is really heavy.

Hook: I don’t want to be shaved….

Charming: You need it.

Hook: You can’t force that on me! I have too much of a baby face!

*Randomly Plops over*
*This might be more worrisome if we’d actually seen the effects of Dreamshade before this episode*

*Seeing the family resemblance*

Killian: Brother! Don’t die on me; the crew will throw me overboard if I show up without you!

Pan: Friggin’ WHAT did I tell you? I’ll tell you what I told you, I told you that it was poisoned and not to belly flop on it but did you listen to me? NOOooooooo!

Killian: *Blubbers*

Killian: You gotta save him!

Pan: Why should I help him? He called me a native and a whole bunch of other things and was frankly a bit rude.

Killian: Because we have…understanding. Our eyebrows move and girls gasp! We’ll be written in stories together as Foe Yay! So you gotta save him!


Pan: Only if you get rid of that ponytail the next time I see you and wear lots of leather.

Killian: Done! Done you monster! I’m never coming back here anyway!

Pan: This is the heart of the island! You drink it and you will be the next protector…I mean there will be a price to pay that’s fairly obvious if anyone ever read Greek Mythology…

Killian: Oh boy, here we go traipsing into familiar territory again!

Pan: I have no idea how I know this stuff about the water since timeline wise, I haven’t brought anyone here yet….

Killian: *Squees*

Killian: Wait, what are you doing?

Pan: *Is creepy* Seeing what a clean shirt feels like, I’ve been wearing the same outfit for like 40 years.

Killian: I change clothes every day.
Pan: Bang! Bang!

Pan: One of these days you will have to pay a price!

Killian: If wearing the same clothes for years is that price, I will pay it! Especially if it’s jammie bottoms and a flannel shirt.

Pan: *Glare* *Now we know where Henry gets it*

Killian: I don’t like that glare of shame!

Killian: Hey bro! Open wide.
Liam: Please tell me that’s Gatorade…
Killian: It totally is!
Liam: *Squees*

Liam: *Gurgle* *Gurgle*

Liam: Hah! Fooled you. I just ran out of water an hour ago and put on a complicated show so that I could get some of yours.
Killian: Oh…. I’ll just pretend I saved your life!
Liam: It’s nice to have delusions!

Killian: *Squee!*

Killian: *Squee!*

Killian: *Squ-.”
Liam: Okay, okay, don’t hurt yourself. goober.

Liam: Wow, the water hasn’t healed everything yet, do you think you could carry me to the ship.
Killian: I’ll get that random kid to help!

Killian: Random creepy boy! I’ll pay that price now!
Liam: What price, we don’t get paid! Friggin’ Killian, what did I say about natives?

Henry: How tedious, drawing battle plans for overthrowing Pan shouldn’t be this much of a pain.

Henry: Die crappy battle plans, die!

Devin: …..

Henry: Unless you want to join my army, I don’t even want to hear it. You know who used to stand over me with pointy objects? Regina. And you know what a stinker she was.

Devin: I’m your mother, Henry!

Henry: Get in line for another family member; I already have two of those.

Devin: I’m coming to save you!

Henry: I’m going to rule this land, don’t you DARE ruin this for me!

Devin: Don’t get that tone of voice with me or else I’ll try to kill your loved ones some more!

Henry: They’re not even here!

 Emma: HENRY! You hit puberty!
Regina: *Shoves* Move! I can’t see!
Snow: You move! *shoves*

Henry: Oh my god, why are you guys here?! You’re going to embarrass me!

Regina: Out of frame! Out of frame!

Henry: *Rolls eyes* My family and their inability to stop saving each other.

Devin: Will I EVER get my heart back?

Emma: Mama loves you! *Puckers*

Henry: MOM! Not in front of everyone!

Emma: *Is puckering some more to embarrass him*
Snow: *Squees*
Regina: He mutilated his first boy, I’m so proud!

Pan: Guys, get my royal foot massage ready!

*Are imagining that*

Henry:  I have to go! If he finds out about this crazy endeavor, he’ll move me, kill most of you, destroy the map and put me right back to where I was emotionally…and since Pan does sort of win for about 24 hours, I’m not sure what this whole story showed other than Emma’s willingness to do what it took to save me…and not even THAT went anywhere.

Regina: Stay evil for mommy, baby!

*What a cheap mirror. I thought Regina would be better than that* 

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