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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Part 3






 
Rumpelstiltskin: Happy birthday to you Bae…I would’ve gotten a cake but I forgot if it was you or I that liked chocolate…

 
Rumpelstiltskin: I really wish one of these days; I could talk to Victor about how electricity works…

 
Belle: Flower service!
Rumpelstiltskin: Grrr, go away!

 
Belle: Excuse YOU, this is my library!

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Woman, this is MY library! YOU just got lost on the way to yours again!

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Ugh, I got a paper cut on my tongue today licking envelopes and it hurts…

 
Belle: Can I hang out?

 
Rumpelstiltskin: No, I’m having a birthday celebration of my son!

 
Belle: Oooo, so you have a soooon?

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Yeah, but timeline wise you’re not supposed to know about this yet

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Friggin’ continuity…

 
Rumpelstiltskin: I’m going to get him back

 
Belle: Through terrible means?

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Probably…

 
Belle: I see all the good in you!


 
 Rumpelstiltskin: For God’s sakes, Belle, that’s going to get old quick…

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Slap bracelet, why you got to be so mean?

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Well, there’s only one thing for it…

 
Rumpelstiltskin: I gotta become RumpleHook…except my hook will obviously be bigger…

 
Emma: Regina! This is not the time! Get your arse up!

 
Regina: I am trying to nap here!

 
Henry: *Singlehandedly pulls her up*

 
Emma: Rip up the paper already!

 
Regina: Easy guys, I haven’t had a lot of sleep. I have to take a minute to think logically!

 
Emma: That’s something you can actually do?
Snow: *Is stunned*

 
Regina: I have to do all the sacrificing again! Maybe this time it’ll stick!

 
Henry: Wow, handsy feely…knock it off…

 
Pan: I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now!

 


Pan: Surprise! I win…you guys aren’t really good at this, you know that?


 
Rumpelstiltskin: I’m sure it won’t hurt…just some swiping, blood shooting out of the veins and arteries…bleeding out…world going dark….

 
Rumpelstiltskin: But I like this hand…it’s my favorite and I don’t want to get my suit dirty…it’s so hard getting blood out of these expensive suits and my dry cleaning is high enough!

 
Pan: Okay first thing I’m going to do…is put you all in embarrassing positions!

 
Pan: Have you guys ever seen human centipede?

 
*Hooks arm changes levels a lot*

 
*Can’t tell if Bae is frozen or if he’s just bored*

 


Pan: DID YOU JUST MOVE?!

 
Baelfire: No, man.

 
Rumpelstiltskin: RUMPLE SLAM!

 
Rumpelstiltskin: *Misses but tries to play it off*
Hook: My arm is tired!

 
Pan: I raise my eyebrow at you, good son

 
Rumpelstiltskin: *Tries to mimic* Ow, it hurts!

 
Pan: Just admit defeat! I have all your loved ones and I have my own body back and the Dark Curse is coming! Yay for me!

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Not if I kill you!

 
*Gasp!*

 
Pan: Hmph! You can’t do that! I’m your daddy!

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Belle, Bae, Emma…I love you guys. I really love you Henry.

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Snow and Charming are okay. …

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Regina and Hook can fall in a lobster trap and roll off a cliff for all I care…

 
Pan: *Giggles* Dude, I was stuck for 300 years with Hook. Trust me, I get it…

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Imma goin’ out in a blaze of glory, y’all! Name a country after me!

 
Pan: But you have no magic!

 
Rumpelstiltskin: I can beat the snot out of you with my brain

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Dainty wrist call!

 
Pan: Man…I probably shouldn’t have sat there staring…can’t I get away? Is the shadow possessing me? What’s going on?!

 
Pan: This is so embarrassing…he’s going to HUG me to death!

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Considering the nonsensical route this show is going down in the next half of the season, I’m going to end everything for myself now so I don’t have to see it. Thanks daddy! You’ve given me a great opportunity to get out of my contract!

 
*Stabs*
Pan: My heart is on the other side, idiot…
Rumpelstiltskin: I…can’t believe that my blade would be long enough to mortally wound me too…

 
Pan: ASDFGHKL!
Rumpelstiltskin: Hey, I’m the one with the broken heart here…

 



Malcom: !LKJHGFDSA

 
Malcom: I just realized I’m going to die an old man!

 
*Is super depressed about this development*
Malcom: You know, we could stop this and have a happy ending…

 
Rumpelstiltskin: I couldn’t even if I wanted to! Dude…I don’t have magic!

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Also…you’re really close…

 
Rumpelstiltskin: And if we’re not careful, this will mean something else taken out of context!



 
Rumpelstiltskin: Well, I’m sure I’m twisting SOMETHING vital here. Hope it’s not all just bone…

 
Malcom: *Is dead*

 
Rumpelstiltskin: And for the final middle finger to my father….I’m going to remind him that I loved him…

 
Rumpelstiltskin: Victory is so sweet!

 
*Disappears into the light for….some reason…*

 
Hook: Oh my arm….my arm, I can’t feel my arm! And I need this one! I’m already running low!
Belle: My role revolves around him practically, what am I going to do now?!
Baelfire: Hrm…hold it together man…
Regina: The scroll…can someone get it!
Henry: I don’t want to walk into bits of grandpa!
Emma: Never get frozen with your legs locked in place *Bounces a bit* You can’t feel anything….*tries not to start sobbing hysterically in front of everyone*

 
Charming: HE DIED?! Who are we going to run to for help now?
Snow: Great. I feel my breakfast coming up…
Emma: *Holds still so she can mentally wail*

 
Belle: HE’S DEAD AND I LOVED HIM AND I’LL NEVER BE RELEVENT AGAIN!


 
Regina: Well I’m not hugging her.


1 comment:

  1. Rumple's categorising of characters was hilarious! Nice to see he kinda likes the Charmings now...

    ReplyDelete