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Thursday, June 13, 2013

120 - Evil Queen Part 4

Regina: She didn’t hold the curtain open for me!
Snow: Keep up Wilma! If you’re not up to my pace, you are walking by yourself.

Regina: *Is imitating behind back*

Snow: It’s really quiet, Wilma, can you talk like a valley girl so that I can pretend that you’re Red?

Regina: Why is there a keypad on this thing?

Regina: So…how do you feel about the greatest queen of all time, Regina?

Snow: You mean ‘how do I feel about the woman that murdered my dad and framed me for it?’ Eh, she’s okay, I guess.

Regina: I’m sure she’ll be okay if you just hug her more.
Snow: I looked up to her as my stepmother for years and she never once figured out that I wanted her for a mom and I was manipulated by her mom. If you remember correctly, at this point, I’m still in the belief that Daniel ran away.

Snow: Here, give me my canteen. I’m thirsty.

Regina: So…let’s play a game. Let’s pretend that I am Regina and you’re talking to me right now….What would you say as apology?

Snow: What an odd game…
Regina: Curses! She’s catching onto me.

Snow: Well she did brutally murder my dad and sent a huntsman out to kill me….and who knows what’s happened to him…and her men have been hunting me relentlessly and have terrorized innocent people….
Snow: But I suppose she’s okay! She did save me once! And even though that happened years ago and he’s hated me ever since and plotted my death…that’s no excuse not to think that that person might be gone forever!

Snow: So I shall give her chance after chance after chance after chance after chance after chance on the off hope that maybe ONE day she’ll figure it out no matter what heinous things she does. Also because the actress is a regular.

Regina: This thing called forgiveness confuses me. 

Snow: But I guess that in this world, if you’re capable of being a murderer, then you’re capable of being good right afterwards because you do a good thing every now and again.

Regina: What? She might….like me?

Regina: What if Regina decided to forgive you for your treachery and what if you could change until someone made you mad and so you didn’t change to prove them right?

Snow: Because I know how this will go. Regina likes to talk about how she wants to change, but other than not doing anything bad for a while, she makes no attempt to better herself. She does not want to change for her; she wants to change so that others will like her again. Because if she honestly wanted to change for her then…you know. ..She’d do better at sticking with it considering her father has pushed her to reform and be good several times.

Regina: Oh! I have a father?

Regina: Aw, crap. We went too far into the forest!

Snow: These innocent people died because they protected me and Regina didn’t like it!
Regina: Oh, I’m sure they’re just sleeping!

Snow: Nope. I’ve decided she’s evil! But I’m sure I’ll forgive her for it later and the deaths of all these innocent people will never see justice because I feel bad for her looking vulnerable at her actual execution.

Regina: It’s okay…I’m sure if you forgive her even though she’s REALLY not that sorry, you two can have white chocolate covered marshmallows and watch Old Yeller and mock that little kid.

Snow: Wait…how do you know about the white chocolate covered marshmallows?

Regina: Oh, you said it in your sleep.

Snow: And I never liked white chocolate covered marshmallows…Regina always forgot that I hated them and liked chocolate covered marshmallows.

Regina: ….

Regina: You did?

Regina: Now how dare you point a bow and arrow at me! *Looks sad*

Snow: Yeah, I’m pretty sure this mass of innocent people felt sad when you slaughtered them!

Regina: But there is good in me and stuff!

Snow: Hard to buy that when I’m surrounded by the bodies that you just admitted you knew you didn’t want me to see.

Regina: *Stomps foot* How DARE you not believe me!

Regina: I got shape shifted for you! I had to put on these nasty clothes!

Regina: Dangit, I keep forgetting that my fireballs of death don’t happen!

*Is awkward*

Regina: Could you give me a quick minute to pull this out?

Regina: *Drops*

Regina: EEK!

Snow: Well that was undignified.

Regina: Well, so that date didn’t go well…time to see if Jiminy’s available…

Hook: Hey, what’s up?

Regina: Um…how did you get past me? I’m pretty sure it didn’t take THAT long to get the failsafe!

Hook: I won’t bore you with details of my miraculous unlikely escape.

Regina: If you want this failsafe, then you should know that I WILL wrestle you for it! And neither one is going to enjoy it like they wished they could!

Hook: Well, let me just take in your measurements to see my chances…

Hook: Hmmmmm

Hook: Hmmmm

Regina: Geez Hook, buy me dinner first.

Hook: Well I was going to until you pushed me into a giant chasm where a zombie waited!

Hook: And then I realized that maybe I was too good for you!

Hook: And as I was down in the elevator…waving my arms and screaming “Pull me up! Pull me up!”

Hook: I ran into these guys!

Tamara: HISSSSS!
Hook: Yeah, she does that.

Hook: It’s sort of creepy at first but then you get used to it….or just…ignore it better….

Regina: I don’t even know who she IS!

Regina: You know what, Hook? Talk to the hand!

Regina: Hold on, it’s asleep. Pins and needles…pins and needles…

Greg: Actually it’s a um…magical muffling device that we made through SCIENCE!
Hook: Oh…so this world…has that kind of vauge advancements, then?

Henry: So…you staked out my dad’s apartment, snuck in, broke laws, falsely accused someone and looked like an idiot in front of those you wanted to impress. “Fruit of a Poisonous Tree” much?

Emma: Well, they had to give me something to do so it wasn’t completely all about Regina.

Henry: Grandpa says that sitting around eating ice cream after humiliating yourself to the extend you did is something that girls do.

Emma: *Is annoyed* And how do you feel about that?

Henry: I like girls. This will be a great way to meet them!

Emma: ….You’re too YOUNG for that!

Charming: Where have we BEEN all this time?

Snow: Oh Charming, stop asking so many questions! Otherwise, we’ll have to go back and I’ll have to show you the bill we’re running up at the Inn together.

Grumpy: I waited in the truck for FIVE HOURS!
Snow: We’re still technically newlyweds! Shut up!

Charming: I still got it!

*Is burned*

*Is awkward*

Charming: Uh…we didn’t leave them looking like this last night, did we?

Charming: *Is in slow motion* Nnoooooooo!

Charming: MAH BEANS!

Grumpy: Um…why didn’t we just clip off a bean or something in case this happened?

Snow: Silence your logic you!

Regina: Your doorbell is broken! I rang for four hours!

Rumpelstiltskin: I know! I was laughing!

Rumpelstiltskin: I’m sorry, have we met? Are you one of my old wives because I have to say…I usually remember faces and yours isn’t coming to mind….

Regina: The idea disgusts me! No!

Rumpelstiltskin: in fact you sort of look like the bear behind me….

Regina: *Glares*

Rumpelstiltskin: REGINA! How the heck are ya? *Completely forgot he turned her into a peasant*

Regina: Your potion worked too well!

Rumpelstiltskin: Oh you!

Regina: Hey! That’s the mirror I gave you for your birthday!
Rumpelstiltskin: No it’s not!
Regina: It still has the wrapping paper on it!

Regina: Take it down! I need something to glare at!
Rumpelstiltskin: I don’t want you cracking my mirror! Someone gave that to me, you know!
Regina: Why do you even have mirrors if you cover them up?!

Rumpelstiltskin: I do have to say Regina, you’re looking…hm….I need to know whose face I gave you because I outta look her up!

Regina: What happened to the Maraca Girl?
Rumpelstiltskin: It didn’t work out. She told me she would rather date Jiminy….so I think that I should…let her date him because….I CERTAINLY don’t date desperate girls….

Regina: You’re been hugging me for far too long! *Jerks away*

Rumpelstiltskin: My shoulder!
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh…this mirror does show off my best features…I think I should primp more…hello handsome…

Regina: They won’t love me!

Rumpelstiltskin: Maybe if you stopped slaughtering them…just saying…

Rumpelstiltskin: Also…can you leave for a bit….now that I’ve seen myself in a full length mirror again, I need to take time to seduce myself and ask myself on a date…

Rumpelstiltskin: I used to think that Jefferson was weird, but I think that he may have had the right idea about dating.

Regina: Oh crap, I forgot to breathe in for the corset.
Rumpelstiltskin: *Is staring at himself in the mirror* C’mere you!

Regina: Rumpelstiltskin! Did you switch my arms and legs!?

Rumpelstiltskin: Nooooo!

Regina: CHANGE ME BACK!   

Regina: How DARE you trick me when I was the epitome of honesty and intentions to you!

Hook: Oooo, might want to check your pants, liar, because they’re about to burst into flames!

Greg: I’m sly!

Regina: *Is squaring up* I’m going to punch you in that perfect jawline!

Hook: Well, I’ll provide a gloating target!

Hook: *Beams*

Tamara: Is this going to take a while?
Greg: I don’t think he’s ever really betrayed someone that betrayed him and won completely before.

Regina: I can’t believe I’m powerless!

Greg: Yeah, kind of like how I felt when you took my dad from me!

Regina: I didn’t want this attachment to be permanent! I was just doing it to make my mom happy and stick it to Hook at the same time!

Regina: My magic is gone so I can’t hurt anyone anymore! That’s not fair! *Looks sad*

Hook: I wonder what Emma’s doing right now…

Tamara: Oh hey, I need to pick up eggs before we go home…

Greg: Oh! Don’t forget to jot down peanut butter!

Regina: Helloooo! It’s about me here!

Tamara: Actually Regina, it’s not about you…

Regina: The rest of this season will be!

Greg: *Is horrified*

Regina: I will make it ALL about me!

Greg: Not if we make it about us first.

Regina: You wouldn’t dare!

Greg: Try me! I got nothing to lose!

Hook: If they’re not going to get the crocodile killed today…I wish they would tell me so that I could go get some sleep…I really miss my bed.

Tamara: I have no idea how we’re sneaking you out in broad daylight.

Regina: Is this bag even clean?!

The End.

Clip attached to the beans scene is for the show Adventure Time.

I know that Photobucket isn’t allowing you all to see the old episodes. I do no use photobucket anymore since they decided to start charging me because my photos were hi res and took up all the free space. Therefore after I’m done with season 2, I will be working on getting the episodes put into pdf format that is downloadable. That way you don’t have to worry about photobucket working for a bit and then not working.


  1. The beans killed me! Lumpy Space Charming needs to be a thing.

  2. Sooo... the plot of season 2 is Regina vs Greg?

    1. Probably more on the side of Regina making it all about her. Because God knows the writers kept trying to do so.

    2. I'm gonna be honest here. Her character has been so mucked up, I literally forgot/ignored she existed since the Miller's Daughter until she found out about Neal.
      My reaction: "Wait, she's still there? Why? Oh great, it's about her being Henry's real mom again, HAVEN'T SEEN THAT BEFORE."
      And of course, in the season finale, they trust that sociopath for absolutely no reason AGAIN.
      *facewall* *facewall* *facewall*

    3. Hey, I don't like Regina. LIke...at all. So i'ts not going to offend me if you're honest on this. Parts of the finale made no sense. Like...murdering Archie warrants Emma to go over and tell her to stay away from Henry. Trying to murder the whole town means....they bring Henry over to interact with her in the very same house and let her hug him. A lot of my problem with Regina is that they let her do these horrible things....but then hammer it down our throats that she deserves a second chance (Or 50th) because she did one good thing once and saved Snow. I think the writers want to have her be bad but they realized they took it to far and now they can't have her actually being in the same room with the heroes logically and so they're making the heroes dumber.

    4. Now we have dumb heroes and boring villains(I also forgot she existed when Cora was around). Yay.
      And Henry... or should I call him the Center of the f**king Universe?
      I don't swear at all, but it gets a *little* irritating when all the characters(minus Hook and I bet that will change soon) base all their decisions around him.

      And who the heck would even tell Regina ANY information about Henry? First she tries to murder all the heroes, then she expects daily updates on his life??????
      And what was up with that chat Emma and Regina had earlier about Neal? Did they suddenly forget that they were past the "ms. Swan/the Mayor" part and in the "Savior/Evil Queen" territory?