Charming: Why
don’t all of you have cars of your own?!
Grumpy: Because
you’re the only one that’s married and has a job, Charming. Also we get to sit
in the back and flirt with ladies. Now buck up and put that pedal to the metal!
Hurley: Dude,
you’re so Grouchy!
Grumpy: …..
Hurley: What?
Charming: Hey,
you guys make him pay for dinner or something. Snow and I got an inn to spend
the night at.
Snow: *Giggles!*
Grumpy: I’m on
board with Hurley paying!
Hurley: And…what
am I going to use for money?
Charming: I
better hurry, so we can get a forest view!
Snow: *Giggles*
HI REGINA! I’M GONNA GET SOME!
Regina: Happy
people! That just irks me!
Regina: I’m just
going to go gloat about nothing and spoil their fun right no-
Regina: Oh
look! A quarter!
Regina: Oh never
mind, it’s just the CSI Button.
*Why can’t Regina
just cloak herself like they did the ship to see what they’re doing?*
*And why couldn’t
they do this in the Crocodile when they couldn’t find Belle?*
*Why can’t they do
this at any time when they can’t find Henry?*
Regina: Why are
there one set of tracks if they’ve been doing this for a while? And why haven’t
I noticed until now?
Regina: I hope I
remember how to turn that off because I’ll be blinded when the sun comes up….
Regina: I should
probably change the shade too. Maybe a red. I LOVE a red highlighter color.
Regina: What a
boring little field. Of course they’d want to come and hang out here. And they
did it…WIHTOUT ASKING MY PERMISSION FIRST!
*WHY is it that easy
to undo what the Blue Fairy does?*
Regina: *GASP!*
They lied to me! And I’ve been a paragon of truth with them!
Regina: And what
is this? Some sort of drug that no one’s supposed to know abou-
Regina: Oooo,
beans! Good! I’m hungry!
Regina: Wait…these
aren’t Lima beans…and my own personal torment continues….
Rumpelstiltskin: I’m
not sure this is the back of the diner…why is my car here?
Rumpelstiltskin: I
hope Jiminy’s date night with Emma isn’t too long; I could use a friend to
build a boat with…
Rumpelstiltskin: What
the-
Keith: *Is pretending
to be a mannequin*
Rumpelstiltskin: So
that’s weird….
Keith: Okay I’m
sorry…
Rumpelstiltskin: GAH!
Rumpelstiltskin: So…you
really didn’t think that even if we WEREN’T together….I might not like you
hitting on the woman you wanted me to pimp out to you even though I expressed a
specific desire against you?
Keith: Uh….thought
didn’t occur to me. No.
Keith: But you
know…most days are a blur anymore…
Keith: Bros?
Rumpelstiltskin: …..
Rumpelstiltskin: Has
there ever been any point in any of our conversation where I looked like I was ever
alright with you?
Rumpelstiltskin: You
and your scruff, and your mussed hair and your leather and your accent and your
drinking…to this I say…
Rumpelstiltskin: YAWN!
Rumpelstiltskin: Because
I was doing all that in season 1 before you were even thought of!
Keith: I’m not
going to like this, am I?
Rumpelstiltskin: I
got your tongue!
Keith: RUAJERIARJ
AIOJ HA!
Rumpelstiltskin: You
know something? Generally when this happens the FIRST time, one tends to stay
away from the person who did it and their associates!
Rumpelstiltskin: Time
for your paddlin’!
Keith: URIEOWOWJREOWU
Belle: So…you’re
looking pretty spiffy with that bow…
Rumpelstiltskin: I
know! I even changed up my walk just for your benefit!
Rumpelstiltskin: I
might even teach you archery one day just so I can stand right behind you and
be all creepy…also because that’s the only way to ensure I don’t get shot…
Belle: You know something;
you’re alright when you’re not acting like a psychopath! I’m going to bed…
Rumpelstiltskin: She
called me ‘alright!’ *Is hers forever*
Belle: *Knows exactly
what she’s doing*
Rumpelstiltskin: Wait…come
on to my private sanctum so I can impress you.
Belle: EW!
Rumpelstiltskin: Not
THAT private sanctum! The other private sanctum! Gosh Belle, such a pervert!
Rumpelstiltskin: This…is
where Jiminy and I hang out during our bro nights.
Belle: Look at
the size of that big screen! Is that a pizza oven?
Belle: How much of
these books are something I’d actually be interested in?
Rumpelstiltskin: Well,
you’re about to become a BIG expert in all things magic, potion, Animorphs and
Choose your Own Adventure.
Rumpelstiltskin: I
just hope you don’t start putting that magic knowledge to good use against
me…Jiminy tried that once and…let’s just say that I’ll never eat noodles again…
Rumpelstiltskin: But…everything
that’s in here you can read…just as long as you’re not in here when Jiminy and
I are in here…
Belle: I found
your diary!
Rumpelstiltskin: Everything
but THAT!
Rumpelstiltskin: You
can kiss me now!
Belle: Well,
pucker up!
Rumpelstiltskin: *Didn’t
really mean it* NO! Cooties! I have a cold!
Belle: One of
these days, these lips are going to touch those lips and it’s going to be
heaven for one of us, buddy…
Rumpelstiltskin: Well,
then I’ll just have to make sure you don’t! Challenge accepted! No wait! I
didn’t mean that!
Rumpelstiltskin: This
is going great Keith! Your pulp of a head is really helping me with my golf
aim!
Rumpelstiltskin: *Is
jumping on*
Lacey: Hey guys!
What’s up?
Lacey: Oh! That’s
sick! Is he even alive?
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh…hey
Bellacey…what are you doing back here? *Is awkward*
Lacey: So…I was
just on a website dedicated to how hot you looked when you were beating people
with your cane and I have to say that I approve…
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh
well that’s great Cora 2.0 but if Bae or Emma find out then I’m getting sent to
the kennel.
Rumpelstiltskin: And
then it’d be awkward for all of us because who knew that we were all related?
Lacey: I’ll stand
guard if you beat him up some more!
Rumpelstiltskin: Wait…so
you ditch me to date this guy and then you want me to beat him up?
Lacey: Yeah
he…wasn’t a good kisser...
Rumpelstiltskin: That
IS a sentence worth death.
Lacey: Let’s see
if you’re up to the task!
Rumpelstiltskin: My
other wives have never given me complaints
Rumpelstiltskin: Sorry
buddy! I gotta impress my girlfriend!
Rumpelstiltskin: Sorry
cane! I hate to hurt you because you’ve been my best friend for years….
Lacey: Oh! Ew!
That’s gross! Stop hitting him! Gross! Gross!
Baelfire: Hey
Emma! Father/son day went great!
Emma: That’s
surprising.
Baelfire: Don’t
even start with me. Henry chased me to the point of exhaustion and then he
tried to lead me out into traffic and he tripped and knocked himself out.
Baelfire: I could
say that I gave him some bourbon….but there are people on the internet that
took that joke seriously…
Emma: It’s a good
thing that Henry would sleep through a bomb because he’s swinging everywhere.
Baelfire: Rock-a-bye
HENNNNRYYYYY
Baelfire: Ugh! I
can’t! He’s heavy!
Emma: I’ll put
the blanket over him and he can pretend that he’s a dead body. He loves that
sort of stuff.
Emma: So…my
parents sprung something really weird on me today...
Baelfire: Being a
sibling at this age isn’t the weirdest thing to happen Emma. In fact I wouldn’t
be surprised if I had quite a few siblings running around…
Emma: No! Not
THAT kind of weird! That’s ‘eye gouging horrifying
Baelfire: Oh
hurry! I’m curious! Tell me! Tell me!
Emma: I’d rather
tell August, cause he’s amazing with secrets.
Baelfire: Yeah,
he totally kept that 20,000 a secret that we’ve apparently talked about off-screen.
Emma: They talked
about going home…and I really don’t want to go home yet because then I’ll never
have a backstory episode! It’ll be focused on everyone else!
Baelfire: There
are worse things that have happened! Some of us were nearly conscripted in wars
that we didn’t want while over there!
Emma: I’m not
done ranting, Neal! You get two backstory episodes this season! I get one! And
you’re not even a regular yet!
Baelfire: Aw
shucks, that’s because I have the next season’s backstory in my pocket!
Emma: Well geez,
it’s not like there’s more of my story or my dad’s backstory to explore AT ALL!
Emma: Wait! What
do you mean that you have next season’s backstory in your pocket?
Baelfire: Shh!
It’s a secret Emma!
Emma: I miss the
days when everything was told to me and I just dismissed them…
Greg: Oh ‘street
that I nearly died at’ you and I Have some really bad memories…
Greg: What
happened to those patrols that made sure no one stepped over the border?
Tamara: Good
thing Neal didn’t think to ask if I needed help moving our stuff….AT ALL!
Greg: Tamara!
You’re okay!
Tamara: Yes I am!
*Bump stomachs*
Greg: So why
couldn’t the package just ride up front with you?
Tamara: I took
the head wrapping off and it spouted innuendo and so I shoved it back in his
mouth and tossed him in the trailer…
Greg: Yeah, that
sounds like him…
Tamara: I didn’t
think he could make a muffler sound so dirty…
Tamara: But we’ll
be okay now that we have a pirate working for us! Because they’re a trustworthy
sort!
Killian: *Is
screaming like a girl through the gag*
*Just realized he got
kidnapped by Greg and Tamara and this is a new low for him*
The End.
So…is Keith dead?
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