Grumpy: Alright, he’s hanging there…I got the noose ready!
Granny: Wonderful! Help me tie it down!
Grumpy: Snow! Don’t stand so close! You’re wearing a skirt!
Hurley: Okay guys…I’m pretty sure I’m bleeding out from the jagged edges of these pipes cutting into me when I was a giant…can we sort of hurry this up?
Red: Like…I’m here too!
Snow: Red, you shouldn’t be out here in your condition!
Red: Nonsense Snow! Pregnant women have been pulling former giants out of pits for hundreds of years!
Charming: You make a better door than a window Grumpy!
Charming: Mmm, tacos!
Snow: Just make sure the holster comes back in one piece okay? That thing was expensive!
*Eye!gaze of love*
Charming: I hope you’re happy Hurley! I’m getting butt rope burn just for you!
Charming: So Hurley, I think it’s time we talk about our differences….
Charming: And where did you get this hair? It’s so fluffy.
Hurley: I don’t want to fall!
Charming: Hey, would you like to hear my feelings since I found out that my daughter’s the same age as me?!
Hurley: Are you TRYING to make me let go?
Snow: You guys could help too, you know!
Extras: We’re extras; we don’t get paid to do more than look like we care!
Hurley: Dude, the numbers are real!
Charming: Thanks for climbing OVER me, Hurley!
Snow: Oh good! The holster’s intact!
Snow: You’re alive!
Red: Okay…leave me to hug myself then….
Jefferson: Well that’s what I’m here for Red…I’ll never make you hug alone.
*Is in love*
Hurley: So dude…some humans are awesome I guess is the lesson.
Grumpy: Dwarves aren’t…and you and I have a score to settle!
Snow: Stop trolling him Grumpy…he’s Hurley!
Charming: I’m a BIG fan by the way. Big fan.
Hurley: That’s nice…
Charming: Any chance you could let me meet Jack so I could teach him a thing or two about acting?
Hurley: If Michael Emerson and Terry O’Quinn couldn’t…none of us could.
Jack: I’m a Ninja!
Arlo: Ow! You little termite!
*Yes, LEAVE THE SWORD THERE!*
James: Hey Jack! Stop playing around and help me steal these cheap mementos to show daddy!
*Why couldn’t they have just done that to James and Jack in the first place?*
*A nice good kick could work too*
James: Gross! She looks like flattened road kill!
Arlo: Whaddya think NOW, Jackie?! *Is doing a goofy victory dance*
Hurley: Oh good, I missed seeing Arlo try to do his Gangnam style Harlem shake hybrid
Arlo: I didn’t fall on the putz prince, did I?
James: TABLE CLOTH! I’M TAKING THE TABLE CLOTH!
James: Well…um…I would’ve picked you over Abigail?
Jack: I should’ve dated Jefferson…
Hurley: I’m going to be here by myself…and I don’t even have a volleyball to talk to! Abraham flattened that too!
Arlo: Oh Ariel…
Arlo: I mean…Hurley! Hurley!
Arlo: Here, I saved this! It’s going to survive! Somehow!
Arlo: But take it and remember that if you feel the same trust that you did when you trusted the wonder twins…it’s probably a GOOD CHANCE not to trust them!
Arlo: Also I left a list of chores for you on the fridge…make sure you get them done by supper…
Hurley: And this…is the diner! I frequent it a lot! Granny lets me karaoke and pick up women! I need a wingman since David Nolan got lost and you can stay at the inn!
Granny: Just what I need…another moneyless mouth to feed…
Hurley: I’m not really good with women…I’m not sure those even existed up in my world.
Grumpy: Even better! I can use their pity for you to get a chance to sympathize with me!
Charming: Aw! We just made a friend that we’ll probably never see again!
Hurley: I guess I COULD tell them about that one woman but…nah!
Snow: So Hurley…where do you shop for your clothes? They look fantastic!
Grumpy: Working already!
Snow: Oooo, sounds exotic!
Hurley: This isn’t ale.
Charming: I’m…not sure we have that…
Charming: Oh please tell me that’s dinner.
Hurley: Actually it’s…a way to get home.
Charming: HOME! ZOMGZ! *Harlem shakes*
Snow: Subtle honey.
Grumpy: There goes my wingman.
Charming: Uh…Hurley, that’s not dirt…
Hurley: EWWW! What are we squatting in!
Charming: Cow pasture.
Charming: I’m beginning to think he’s demeaning us.
Snow: No honey…he’s demeaning you. He's not mad at me!
Grumpy: Sorry bro. I tried to sneak away but everyone found me. Are you okay with all of us tilling your land?
Hurley: I…I guess…better than hanging with these clowns I guess…
Grumpy: No! I wasn’t calling your name! I was just yelling out my emotion at that moment!
Hurley: Well axe…way to make fun of me by reminding me of the loss of my brothers AND me losing my gigantism….
Grumpy: The axe never lies.
Charming: But my axe called me Dingleberry Mcnutterbrains!
Grumpy: Axe never lies!
Hurley: I was wrong, these axes rock!
Charming: That’s right! Get to working! I’d um…help but my arms are too busy being around my wife…besides…seven workers are far enough in number for you.
Not!Belle: Pfft, no ninjas in this. I am SO bored!
Greg: Hey…so…I’m pretty sure most of this stuff hasn’t been used since the eighties….and that sort of freaks me out because they used most of this stuff to tranq me when I was a lot younger in the olden days.
Not!Belle: Didn’t care.
Greg: My name’s Greg by the way and I was in the car when the pirate jumped on it
Not!Belle: I’m not sure that’s how it went down…
Greg: Well lady, tell me more about your photographic memory!
Not!Belle: Well why don’t YOU tell me more about your spectacular driving and parking skills!
Greg: Okay, clearly we won’t get far slamming each other on our faults…I think we should try this from a different angle.
Not!Belle: How about the different angle of you walking towards the door there, because I’m not having any more people claim they’ll humor my delusions!
Greg: But you’re not crazy! I saw a man dressed as a pirate and another man wielding a fireball!
Not!Belle: This can only mean one thing!
Greg: *Is hopeful* Yes?
Not!Belle: We’re sharing the same delusion!
Greg: ….I don’t….think so…
Snow: Geez Charming, how long does it take for two coffees?
Charming: Sorry, Grumpy and Hurley talked me into singing karaoke with them…and then the town showed their appreciation by throwing items at us to take home. I didn’t need another napkin dispenser but I’m pretty sure I forgot how many we had when one slammed me in the face.
Snow: Well…here’s to me changing you from being evil.
Charming: It was my twin that did it!
Snow: *Is mocking him* Mmhmm
Snow: Blech! This coffee’s cold!
Charming: I know…I sort of ordered it before our 20 songs of karaoke came up…
Snow: Sometimes I think I’m too lenient on you.
Charming: Funny…mommy, daddy, fake daddy, Rumpelstiltskin, Lancelot, Jiminy, Kathryn
Snow: *Record screech*
Charming: *IS oblivious*…all said the same thing!
James: So…I could’ve been my brother…if I’d been adopted.
Snow: Eh, you don’t have the same heart!
James: I thought evil wasn’t born on this show, it was made…
Snow: Don’t question me!
Charming: Snow! Why are you squeezing my hand! That hurts!
Charming: Gah Snow! There’s a camera and crew looking right at us!
Snow: Oh stop, for the last time, our lives aren’t being captured on film. And those are some sad Christmas trees in the back of us.
Snow: You know what I’m thinking now that we finally had an adrenaline rush that seems to make up a lot of our relationship? ….TACOS!
Snow: *Giggles immaturely*
Charming: You know that food like that this late makes me gassy!
Charming: Oh wait! You meant the “S” word!
Snow: Y-yes, I thought that went without saying….
Charming: Sure! Now that Emma and Henry are gone, we can even walk around the house nude!
Charming: Oh glorious empty house, how nice it will be nice to sleep in you!
Snow: “I” just happen to miss them! Because you know something? We just got reunited with her and if she doesn’t want to come with us on our quest to get home then we’ll be separated from her again. As smoking hot as you are…you don’t make up for that.
Charming: Don’t worry! Emma can take of herself while she’s out in Manhattan.
Snow: Okay….um…that dialogue transition was sort of clunky…
*That’s almost how this scene went*
Charming: Hey Snow….*Is whispering* TACOS!
Snow: *Is whispering back* Tacos!
Charming: *Gets excited* HERE WE COME TACOS!
Grumpy: I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Rumpelstiltskin: AT first I thought that Henry getting the window seat was a big letdown…but then I realized how tight these dresses were on these women as they pass by me and serve me and I couldn’t be happier.
Henry: And so then Rumpelstiltskin took all kinds of pictures of the bathroom. Can you believe he’s never seen one before?
Henry: And when I asked if he’d been to Granny’s bathrooms in the diner, he HISSED at me!
Henry: And I have your cinnabons and I’m not giving them back!
Emma: Oh good…a plane ride with a hyperactive kid and I can’t leave because Rumpelstiltskin’s blocking my way…what could go wrong?!
*Is edging his hand closer so that Emma will see it and feel pity for him*
Emma: Stop checking out other women! We can’t risk you eye!sexing them into pregnancy.
Rumpelstiltskin: Well YOU’RE not giving in! So I’m well in my right to charm others!
Emma: You know what? I’m not going to help you when the hundreds of lawsuits come pouring in! So you just keep checking out women!
Rumpelstiltskin: I will!
*Are looking the opposite way.*
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh yeah, Legsies, work those heels!
Emma: *Is charmed* He’s trying to make me jealous!
Rumpelstiltskin: Wait a minute….
Rumpelstiltskin: I HATE flying!